Monthly Archives: July 2010

Desperation starts to set in

Not much left to say. I am on hold on the phone right now to Welfare, to beg them to give me some meds before I collapse. It’s been six weeks now and that is taking its toll on me. Add this deplorable heat to being without meds and the days and nights are not pleasant. My landlady, although surprisingly understanding about not paying the rent last week, refuses to leave the air on to cool down my sweltering loft, so I just sit and sweat and can’t sleep. I have no money for food, so my diet has tanked. I am so dehydrated all I do is drink water and pee, and it keeps me up all night. I have filled out an unbelievable number of job applications, at least a hundred over the last few days, with not one response. It’s so discouraging! I would kill to be back out West. I have so many wonderful memories of great friends there. I have no one to care here. I wish I could close my eyes, click my heels and wake up in the Okanagan.

My First Trip to a Soup Kitchen

Other than it’s obviously a church, there were no signs to let anyone know there’s a lunch program, nor is there any way to know where to enter the church. Luckily I found an open door and a kindly gentleman who directed me downstairs. The only sign I saw was “Men’s Room Closed”.

The Walls are Closing in on Me

No idea why I keep blogging about all this. No one cares. That’s obvious. I guess it some perverse idea that I don’t want to just keel over from not having my meds and no one knows why. If it happens, I am reminded of that wise old saying about how much you’ll be missed. It reads “put your hand in a bucket of water and then remove it and see how much you have affected it.” Yes, a brief ripple and then no one knows you were ever there. Fitting.

Diary of a Diabetic

Had to happen. After a sleepless night Thursday because my feet were cramping up so bad, I knew I had to see my doctor. He phoned the pharmacy to order emergency meds for me, then gave me money out of his own pocket to pay for them. He’s such a great guy! When he tested my sugar, which came back at a whopping 24.5, he said I needed to go straight to emergency, which I did. Took hours, but they watched me while my sugars came down slowly and they gave me enough Metphormin to make it through the weekend. Going without my meds has been stupid, but I’ve had no choice. God, how I wish I could find a job, any job!

Desperation sets in

Not much left to say. I am on hold on the phone right now to Welfare, to beg them to give me some meds before I collapse. It’s been six weeks now and that is taking its toll on me. Add this deplorable heat to being without meds and the days and nights are not pleasant. My landlady, although surprisingly understanding about not paying the rent last week, refuses to leave the air on to cool down my sweltering loft, so I just sit and sweat and can’t sleep. I have no money for food, so my diet has tanked. I am so dehydrated all I do is drink water and pee, and it keeps me up all night. I have filled out an unbelievable number of job applications, at least a hundred over the last few days, with not one response. It’s so discouraging! I would kill to be back out West. I have so many wonderful memories of great friends there. I have no one to care here. I wish I could close my eyes, click my heels and wake up in the Okanagan.

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