Life Lessons Learned Too Late - irreplaceable things.

Several times in my life I moved to start all over again. Back in 1993 after my marriage of twenty-three years was clearly over and my mother in BC had been diagnosed with fifth stage melanoma and given only a five percent chance of surviving more than a few months I decided to move to BC to be with her during her remaining time. Our last matrimonial home had been sold and my parents and I had driven my van down from BC to Brampton to get rid of everything left in the house. Despite the fact that my wife had always agreed that it would be fifty/fifty if we ever split up that soon changed. She had rented an apartment for her and our daughter so she wanted pretty well everything out of the house for the apartment. I had a lifetime loathing for lawyers for good reason so I always said that we would never resort to lawyers if we split. By my accounting she got about ninety-five percent of everything we had, most of which was from my hard work over the years with zero help from her. I wasn't planning on taking any of the furniture all the way to BC anyway so she got all that. Two things that really peeved me were that she wanted all the Rosemond prints that I had carefully collected during our marriage plus she wanted the thirty-five Charlie Brown books that I had also collected, not one of which she had ever opened a page on. As annoyed as I was it wasn't worth a legal fight so I let her have them.

Flash forward to 2007 and the disaster that was my renovation in what was Westbank at the time. My doctor was very clear in telling me that I had to get out from under all the stress I was dealing with and I had decided to move to Panama. I sold off thousands of dollars worth of stuff, mostly all of my very expensive tools, but also some things like furniture, dishes, small appliances and pots and pans. I still had a lot of personal stuff left, actually five large storage bins worth and I left these with my buddy Wade to ship to me when I got settled in Panama. He had moved them to his mother's ranch and when she was away her place had been broken into and everything, including my bins, had been stolen. Among my prized possessions were two framed prints of those you get done where you dress up like the old West, one with my parents and brother and sister, and one with my wife and kids. They were both awesome and irreplaceable. The other thing was a large (about three feet by a foot) framed print of both my kids when they were young that Tracy had given me as a gift back in 2000 and it read "a father holds his children's hands for a while, but their hearts forever." Again, irreplaceable.

After I was forced to return to Canada I eventually moved to London, Ontario and started building up possessions all over again. Over the years there I went from things I had got through welfare to having my own decent furniture, a big screen TV, a nice bike along with some biking equipment, a great car (yet another Honda), appliances and so on. When I planned to move to Ecuador I donated a lot of clothes to Value Village but I also managed to sell a lot on Kijiji. Again I was left with a lot of things, like tools and my bike that I didn't sell. A friend at the time offered to sell everything for a commission so he took several bins of stuff. Over the next few months while I was in Ecuador he sold a lot, including my bike, but never paid me a cent. I only found out what he sold from people who wanted to buy whatever it was. He refused to answer my many emails and let me know what was going on. Eventually he stopped responding to people who wanted to buy stuff. Just a total crook and at a time that I was desperate for money in Ecuador.

When I was forced to return to Canada, again, I had to sell everything I had acquired during my time in Ecuador. I had a number of small appliances, like a coffee maker and toaster, a really nice large screen SONY 39" monitor, an EPSON printer I hadn't even used and a bunch of dishes and pots and pans. I sold a lot of it for decent money but got nothing for things like my Logitech wireless keyboard that I paid a hundred dollars for and my brand new leather cowboy boots that I paid three hundred dollars for and never even worn because of my foot problems. I gave Patricia at least a hundred dollars worth of food and things I had left. She also managed to score my cooler bag that I had used to carry my insulin to Ecuador.

The point of my post is to do whatever you can to protect the things that are irreplaceable. I had every opportunity to scan the two old West photos so I could have reprinted and framed them again. Both photos were very special because my parents are both gone now and I have no relationship with my brother or sister, plus obviously I am no longer married and my children have decided to have nothing to do with me so there won't be any more photos. I might also say that back in the day we didn't have smart phones or digital cameras for photos and video, so we took pictures. In my younger days I never realized how important photos of my kids would be now that I'm older or even video of my son in his hockey years before he gave it up. My ex got all the photos when we split so today I have nothing. I did scan and post a few photos that I had, but not nearly enough for the twenty-three years that we were together. I would encourage everyone to take as many photos and video as you can. Someday you will treasure the memories, believe me.

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Happy Birthday to me

An interesting birthday to say the least. Happy at being alive. Sad at being alone. Thanks to not having internet for what feels like the first time in decades I won’t be getting the usual kind wishes from friends anywhere in the world. Thanks to having left Ecuador last Thursday I won’t be doing any celebrating with all my wonderful new friends. Most importantly, thanks to leaving Cotacachi, I won’t be spending the day with the love of my life, Patricia, which would have made my birthday truly special in every way. It has already been so brutal without her and today makes it that much worse. She is such a sweetheart in so many ways and I can only imagine what she would have done for me today on my birthday.

Today I got to wake up totally freezing because the house has no heat and it is unusually cold for this time of year. Although there is a perfectly good looking furnace I don’t want to start playing around with things when I don’t know what works and what doesn’t. It’s been three days since I had a shower because there’s no hot water in the house either. Greg was kind enough to get me cleaning stuff, like soap and shampoo and even got towels, so it looks like he planned on me showering, but there is no hot water. The water heater is like the furnace, looks fine but the switch is off on the panel so I don’t want to take a chance on switching it on. I sure wish we could have made arrangements for Greg’s contractor, Eric, to meet me here and go over things. It would have also been great to have had internet so I could at least connect with Greg or Eric or make phone calls to anyone.

His house is outside a place called Foxboro, but I have no clue where that is, how far I might be from it or even what direction it’s in. I thought there was going to be a phone here with the internet package so I could call the driver, Dave, who brought me out here from the VIA station to take me into town to get some food. Thankfully Greg stocked the fridge pretty good or I would be adding starving to my birthday. The fickle coffee machine that gave me such grief yesterday smiled on me for my birthday and actually made a cup this morning. I don’t have any stove or electricity for the microwave, but at least the toaster works great so I can have cereal and toast for my birthday breakfast.

At one point I thought of staying in Cotacachi for my birthday before I left. I had to leave the apartment on the 30th but I thought I could stay with Dutch or Debra for a few extra days. It didn’t matter to Greg and, in hindsight, would have given him more time to get things ready for me here, like heat, hot water, the internet and a phone. It came down to a choice of spending my birthday with all my great friends in Cotacachi or alone here in Canada. The reason I decided against it was mostly because Dutch and Debra were throwing me a farewell party at The Bar on the 25th, so I thought having yet another party so soon was a mistake. Maybe no one would show up for my birthday and that might be worse than spending it alone in Canada. Money was also getting critical, again, so staying longer would not be a good idea. I would also have the nightmare of dealing with COPA who would certainly want to charge me extra to change my flights.

Then, of course, I met Patricia.

I had clearly fallen in love with this woman the first time I met her at The Bar a couple of weeks earlier. I don’t know if I’ve actually told the story of how we met so I’ll include it here because it has a lot to do with how I am dealing with my birthday today.

It’s hard to believe that it was only a short month or so ago that I first laid eyes on Patricia. She came into The Bar with Carlos, a friend, and sat on the couch with him. I was at the bar and, when she went to the bathroom, distinctly heard him say that she was his “girlfriend”. Just my luck. But then, a little while later, Carlos was gone and she came out to the patio and asked me for a cigarette. What boyfriend in his right mind would leave a girl as beautiful as this alone in a bar? We started talking, in Spanish, of course, and I learned that she ran a spa downtown and she was a massage therapist. A few friends had gathered around and I started promoting her massages to friends, a couple of whom knew where the spa was on Bolivar. Before I knew it we had talked for a very long time and the more I looked into that beautiful face, the more I knew I was smitten, but she was Carlos’ girlfriend, so this wasn’t going anywhere, right?

A couple of days later I was at Coo Coo’s Nest and noticed Carlos sitting with some friends. I went over and asked him if he was a violent man? He laughed and said, no, and asked me why I asked him that? I said I needed clarification on something I had heard him say about someone and asked if I could speak to him privately. He said shoot, so I asked him if Patricia was, in fact, his girlfriend. He said she was just a good friend, nothing more, so I confessed that I was quite smitten with her and hoped to get to know her better. He said to go for it.

The following Thursday I had made arrangements to sell some of my things at the Market Day sale because Deborah at Coo Coo’s Nest had decided to include the monthly yard sale as part of the Market Day sale. I didn’t get there until ten because the sale started at eleven, but there were already all kinds of customers there, so I was in a bit of a panic to get my stuff setup. Who comes along to help me but Patricia. Not only was she very helpful but we again talked for just about the entire sale. Lots of laughs and that gorgeous smile. At one point she was looking at my cowboy boots and thought her father might like them, but she didn’t know if they would fit. She said she would call her father to come down to try them on. She was also interested in the insulated cooler that I had brought my insulin in when I came to Ecuador. Long story short, her father couldn’t make it so I gave her the boots and the cooler to take home and let me know. Not something I would normally do, but there was that smile.

As is so typical with Ecuador, I never heard from her later that day, or later days. I started to think I had just been ripped off, again, by someone I didn’t even know. Stupid, Gary, stupid. I posted a photo I had taken of her on Facebook, asking if anyone knew her and could get her to get in touch with me before the following week’s sale. Someone recognized her and gave me the link to her Facebook profile and I left her a message. No response. By the time the next sale rolled around I had pretty well accepted that my boots and the cooler were gone and I deserved it.

This time I went earlier so I would be ready. Who do I see coming into the plaza? You guessed it. She’s saying hello to everyone, kissing and chatting and eventually makes it to me. She explains that she was out of town and is sorry that she never got back to me. She has the boots, saying that they didn’t fit her father, but she forgot to bring back the cooler. She jumps in to help me again and this time she ends up selling for me. Who wouldn’t prefer to deal with a pretty girl rather than me? I take some more photos with her and we end up talking the whole time, again. Now this is where the relationship takes its first turn.

First, I had told her about the conversation with Carlos about her being his girlfriend. Not only had she laughed and said this was not true, but she said she didn’t even like him. He had apparently invited her for a beer and offered to give her a place to live and anything she wanted, but, of course there were strings involved. No surprise there. Certainly not your supposedly typical Columbian woman who would do anything for money.

Next, after I was dealing with a customer I turned around to find her crying. That always turns me to mush and I will do anything to make it better. She gives me a hug I will never forget and tells me that her ex has tossed her out of their house, meaning she has nowhere to live and no business anymore, the spa. No wonder she’s crying. That night Dutch and I had planned to have our last dinner together at Jeanine’s. Hoping it was okay with Dutch, I invited her to join us for dinner and she asked me what time. I said we were meeting at six-thirty and she agreed to join us. I met Dutch there and who comes along just before six-thirty but Patricia, looking as radiant as ever.

With later apologies to Dutch, our dinner was pretty well about Patricia and I. This was the first time I started to see what kind of woman she was. First she butters the bread and hands it to me. Then, when our soup arrives, hers tomato and me broccoli, I tell her that mine isn’t all that great. She gives me a taste of hers and it’s good, so she switches our soups, against my protests. After dinner she tells me that she has to go down the street to get some invoices, I assume from the business. I tell Dutch we will be back in ten minutes and we head off. The next thing I know we are wandering the streets of Cotacachi for some reason. At times she takes my hand, usually when no one is around, but then pulls away when she sees someone. She explains that people gossip and she doesn’t want everyone blabbing about seeing her hand in hand with me. I understand.

Eventually we make our way back to Jeanine’s where I get kidded about disappearing, not paying the bill. I don’t exactly remember how we parted that night, but at some point during the night I had asked her to come to my farewell bash the next night at The Bar. At some point in our travels around Cotacachi that night we had stopped at her mother’s apartment. Not sure why, but she had asked me to hide a couple of doors away while she went in. Thinking it might just encourage her to come to my bash I told her to bring her mother because Three Shades of Grey were playing and she might enjoy the music. Total desperation, yes.

The whole day, in fact, the whole time before my farewell bash, I am dreading this because I am so sad at leaving Cotacachi and all my friends. I don’t know how I am ever going to keep it together and not just break down balling. I head to The Bar at five so as not to miss Three Shades start playing. There are several friends there who all start wishing me goodbye and I can feel the emotions starting to well up. Then I see this absolutely stunning vision walk in the door with who must be her mother. She was wearing an absolute killer dress that took my breath away. She walks up, introduces her mother to me and gives me the usual hello kiss on the cheek. I order beers for her and her mother and sit down with them. Soon more friends start arriving, mostly women with whom I have danced. I explain to Patricia who they are and that I must dance with them, and she is fine with that.

Soon I ask her to dance, but she has seen how I dance with the other women and isn’t sure she can do that, so we go out back to the patio and I give her some instructions, one two three, one two three, step, step and she laughs, trying to follow. I ask her to come to the main bar to dance and she agrees. We’re no Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, but we manage just fine. There’s a lot of laughing and when I hold her close she reminds me that we’re dancing in front of her mother. I manage to dance with her and the other women who want to dance with me, but, of course, this is my farewell bash so every woman who comes in knows me and wants to have a last dance with me. I make sure they are all introduced to Patricia and her mother before I dance with them. I see Philippe and Ronda come in and explain to Patricia that Ronda is one of my favorite partners so I must dance with her soon. Not only is she fine with that but she ends up videotaping us dancing. What a woman!

After I dance with Ronda I sit down to talk to her husband for a bit. Next thing I know Ronda is going over to talk to Patricia, something I’m not sure about. I talk to Philippe about the fact that I had asked him to support me if I started to lose it, but now that Patricia was here I was fine. After far too long Ronda comes back all excited and says Patricia is going to get a visa so she can come and visit me in Canada. I am shocked to say the least.

The other thing that was so completely unexpected, but fabulous, was the food that Dutch and Debra had arranged. Kasie had worked so hard and it was the best food ever at The Bar. I started telling everyone to please eat because it was free and they were all impressed. There were only a couple of new people there who didn’t know me, so I think everyone ate, except me. Partly because I was nervous about Patricia and I guess because it was my farewell party, I had a few too many Amarillos and no food. Not a great combination, as if I wasn’t drunken enough on Patricia. Oh, and one of those moments you never forget happened when Patricia and I went out front for a smoke. She pulled me into a darkened corner and gave me our first passionate kiss. Simply wow!

All too soon the music was ending and people were wandering off. I asked Patricia if her and her mother wanted to go to Jeanine’s for a drink and she agreed, but when we got to Jeanine’s it was closed, for the first time ever, at only about eight-thirty. Patricia knocked on the closed door and Jeanine answered, saying they were going to the Tuparishun Pena Bar down the street. This is a bar pretty well deserted on a Friday night and not somewhere Patricia wanted to go anyway, so I asked if they wanted to come back to my place for a drink, hoping, of course, that her mother would decline, but no such luck.

We got to my place and she poured us drinks, as if I needed any more. She put on some dance music and we danced. Of course I was feeling pretty amorous after that first kiss, but I didn’t want to push it or rush things with her, but every time her mother went to the bathroom, which wasn’t often enough, Patricia would grab me and lip-lock me in such passionate kisses. It sure felt like she wanted more. I realized that I had never eaten at my bash and mentioned that I was hungry. Because I was leaving I hadn’t really bought any food so I thought I might get some cereal or toast to tide me over. Next thing I know Patricia has disappeared for maybe ten minutes and I’m chatting away with her mother, or trying my best. Patricia comes back with three dinners. Chicken I didn’t even know I had and fried vegetables and toasted buns. A feast! What a woman!

Midnight came and it was time for them to go home, but I knew it was almost impossible to get a taxi at this time of night. They tried calling someone but that went nowhere fast. I said the only taxis might be down at the hospital so I said I would walk down to see if I could find one. As I walked towards the hospital I found myself thinking, oh God, please let me be a hero and find them a taxi. As I got closer I heard music and realized that there was a concert going on so there just might be taxis around. Sure enough one went racing by me, but stopped and backed up. As we approached my place there was Patricia and her mother waiting and looking ever so grateful. We said our goodnights and I figured that was that. My wonderful night had come to an end. Not so fast.

A short time later my phone rings and I see that it’s Patricia. She explains that her idiot sister won’t open the door for them, so I tell her to come right back to my place. Once they get there, no doubt relieved that they now have somewhere to stay, I explain that her and her mother can have the bed and I will sleep on my couch, although I know that’s not going to be any fun because my couch is horrible. Her mother crawls into bed in the next room and I hear Patricia in the bathroom. Next thing I know she has joined me on the couch and, well, things progress pretty rapidly despite the fact that she had said that in God’s eyes we needed to be married before anything happened in that department. Let’s just leave it at it being very difficult for her to stay quiet with her mother in the very next room.

The next day is a bit of a blur, although I do remember at one point her saying that she was planning to spend the night at my place. Be still my aching heart. Let’s just leave it that it was all private and wonderful. So much for needing God’s blessing.

She had mentioned that she goes to her church Sunday night, so I had agreed to go, more to support her and not be left without her. I met Pastor William and his wife, Sofie, along with a whole bunch of other worshippers, all of whom greeted me very warmly. Despite having spent the night together, on the way to the church I had said I gathered that there would be no kissing or hand holding at the church and she agreed. Nevertheless she did reach out for my hand a few times during the agonizingly long service, all of it in Spanish, maybe just to thank me for going with her. All I much cared about was that she was planning to stay overnight again so I didn’t want to lose her.

The next couple of days are again a blur but we were heading to Quito on Wednesday to hopefully pick up my replacement passport so I could fly out Thursday as planned. I was taking the bus and she agreed to come with me, which was great. Our driver, Dillan, took us to Otavalo to catch the bus for Quito. We had such a wonderful two hour trip, chatting away and a whole lot of laughs. So much better than the trip I was going to take alone and a whole two dollars extra. Money well spent.

When we arrived at the bus depot there was a long line of taxis waiting. Gabriella at the Embassy had said we should not pay more than five dollars to get to the Embassy from the bus terminal. Patricia had to go to the bathroom so I waited for her. This man standing at the corner of the building said “taxi” and I remembered stories of people taking what they thought was a taxi and getting robbed so I told him to wait for the Señorita. When Patricia came out she spoke to him and I guess got assurances that he was legit, so off we went. We had to actually leave the terminal and walk across the street to his cab, which made me wonder, but it appeared to be a real taxi. Patricia had already got his agreement that it would be five dollars, but we soon realized that he had no clue where the Embassy was. He was on the radio asking for directions and eventually got them but I could see that the meter was going to go well above five dollars. Patricia again told him we would only pay five dollars.

He dropped us off at what we thought was the Embassy, although it was on the other side of a crazy busy street. We took our lives in our hands getting across, only to learn that the Embassy was back on the side we just left, so we again took our lives in our hands getting back across to the right side of the street. Going to the Embassy was oh so Canadian. Not so much as a hello, then the miserable woman receptionist asks for my passport. We explain that I am here to pick up my passport but that only seems to irritate her. Finally Patricia shows her ID and they are willing to let us up to the consular section. They don’t bother telling us that we need to waive our ID badge in front of the elevator controls to go anywhere, but someone else helps us. As we arrive at the Embassy the security is worse than at an airport. I joke that Patricia is wearing so much metal that she is going to have to get naked to pass through the security scan. We are shown into what can best be described as a cubicle with a giant plate glass window between us and who we assume will be Gabriela. Certainly not going to be your typical warm greeting in Ecuador through this thing.

She does show up and immediately questions my travel itinerary from COPA because it shows I am not flying out of Panama City until October 2nd, which was clearly wrong. Just another screw-up by COPA and after hours on the phone with them by both Patricia and me. She also asks why I am not flying on October 1st when I can go direct from Quito to Toronto. I explain that COPA isn’t flying to Toronto on September 30th, the day I am booked to Panama City. She explains that I may have trouble leaving the airport because I only have a temporary passport to fly and not to enter Panama. She strongly suggests that I change my flights to October 1st, so off we go in search of the COPA office, which she says is not far away. Right.

Back down with the not so friendly receptionist she explains that we go out the door, turn right and look for Citi Bank and that’s where the COPA office is. When we go outside Patricia explains that her son, Sebastian, is joining us, something of a surprise to me. A friend drops him off across the street from hell and we again take our lives in our hands getting to him. We then head in the direction we were told but stop to ask a man waiting for the light to change. He checks the internet on his phone and tells us we need to go in a completely different direction so off we go. We walk and walk and eventually come to a building with a United Airlines office, which we have been told is what COPA now is. We enter the office and find all kinds of people waiting and we know it’s going to be quite a while before we are served. I ask out loud if this is COPA and a bunch of people say “no”. They tell us we need to go down yet another street to the COPA office which is not, in fact, at a Citi Bank building at all. By now I am getting tired of walking and very worried that we are not going to make it back to the Embassy in time to get my all-important passport, so we catch a taxi. Eventually we make it to the COPA office and again there are all kinds of people waiting. I am very glad that I have Patricia and Sebastian with me for the Spanish we will need and I explain the situation with the wrong flight date to Sebastian. I want him to explain that I didn’t book September 30th either, even though I did, because they will try to charge me another hundred and fifteen dollars that I do not have and have already paid. He understands.

Figuring that it would be quite a while before we are served, Sebastian and I head off to get some water or pop down the street. We stop for a smoke and chat about how much I like his mother, with me apologizing that although I am not his father, my advice to him is to find someone just like his mother. Next thing his phone rings and it’s Mom telling us to get our butts back to COPA. I find her clearly arguing with the COPA lady. Sebastian steps in and starts arguing with her, getting nowhere and finally we learn she speaks English. What happens next will go down in the annals of just plain bad customer service. She refuses to believe that the October 2nd date is their fault, offers to change it and naturally tells me I have to pay another hundred and fifteen dollars, on which she won’t budge. Now normally I don’t ever believe that you get anywhere by getting angry or raising your voice, but I had it with COPA. At the very great risk of losing my flights and making a total disaster of everything, maybe even getting the police visiting, I pretty well lose it on her, for anyone to hear how fed up I am. I don’t know if anyone within earshot understood a word I said, but it was painfully clear that I was not happy. She asks me to sit down.

After forever on the phone with somebody, no doubt someone in authority and her manager and her on the computer she calls me over and presents me with my tickets to fly to Panama City and on to Toronto on October 1st. I thank her and apologize for getting angry with her, but she says she now understands what they have put me through and she apologizes profusely.

We rush back to the Embassy and go through everything all over again, except we have left Sebastian downstairs. It’s close to two o’clock and he had already explained that he had to get to the university by two-thirty for his classes. I think everything is ready at the Embassy and all Gabriela is waiting for is the travel itinerary. Wrong again. She doesn’t appear to have done much and she’s gone for at least half an hour before coming back with my passport, finally. We join Sebastian again with apologies for the delay and ask if we can still get something to eat with him. He has phoned a friend to pick him up at three but now calls them to delay it even more so he can eat with us. I’ve seen a Tony Romas down the street and think that this might be cheaper in Quito, but when we get there it’s $13.99 each, cheaper no doubt than Toronto, but more than I can afford, so we end up eating at KFC, which sucked just as bad as in Canada.

We said our goodbyes to Sebastian and it was nice that Patricia said he really liked me and was happy that Mom was planning to marry me. It might not have hurt that I had said to Patricia that my original plan was to buy a Honda dirt bike, a plan that went south after the huge hospital bill. I said that if we planned better and were making money with the website business that we would buy three dirt bikes, one for each of us including Sebastian. Of course he was thrilled with that idea. No wonder he liked me.

We got back to the terminal and caught our bus back to Otavalo. Both of us knew we were very tired and figured we would sleep all the way back. Given that I was now leaving in two days I wasn’t keen on wasting time sleeping but I could tell she was very tired. In no time at all she was off in dreamland while I couldn’t sleep a wink, mostly because the movie sound was blasting above our heads. I had also read about a lot about people thinking that they were going to the terminal in Otavalo but instead got dropped off on the Pan American highway in the middle of nowhere, so I wanted to stay awake to make sure this didn’t happen. It was now getting dark and I wasn’t sure where we were, that is until Imbabura and the lake came into view. Suddenly Patricia woke up as if on cue and told me we were getting off the bus. I had no idea why but didn’t have a second to argue, so off we got. Then I noticed the sign for Puerto Lago and we started walking down the lane towards the resort. We shared a glass of hot wine with fruit which was delicious and we sat on a bench down by the lake. It was very romantic and led to what happened next.

The next day, my last one in Cotacachi, was a whirlwind of activity. Patricia had left in the morning, saying something about water problems at her new apartment so I didn’t know when she would be back to my place. Of course I was busy packing and wasn’t sure what to do for our last night together. I wrote to my landlady asking if there was any way I could stay one more night, but it turned out that the apartment was rented to another doctor who was moving in right away. Patricia had already said we could stay at her place but she had no hot water and I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of traveling all day without a shower. Then it came to me. What else could be more special than spending our last night at Puerto Lago? I emailed them explaining about my websites and asked if they would consider giving me a special rate in exchange for publicity on my website and they agreed. I texted Patricia telling her to bring some nice clothes and that we would be staying somewhere special for our last night together.

She didn’t come over until four o’clock in the afternoon, which made the day even crazier for me, but when she came over, obviously curious as hell as to where we were going to stay, when I told her Puerto Lago she just beamed. She was so happy. Eventually after running all over town with me Dillan took us to Puerto Lago. Our room, called the Junior Chalet, was simply gorgeous and right on the lake. I hadn’t eaten all day so I was starving so we made our way to the gorgeous restaurant for dinner. Daniel, our wonderful waiter, brought us two warm wines with fruit and we ordered our meals, which were incredibly delicious. We ended sharing a coffee with Baileys, a fitting end to a very romantic and wonderful meal.

Now very full, we wandered back to our room and sat out on the porch enjoying the view and a beautiful night. That’s when she grabbed the computer, which was playing music for us, and excitedly started typing something into Google translate. Earlier in the day I had noticed that something was wrong with it because you would go to correct something and everything you typed would disappear. Sure enough she’s typing and typing, then I hear “oh, no!” because she’s lost everything. She starts all over again, only to have the same thing happen again and again. I open WordPad instead and tell her I will translate it when she is finished. She hands me back the computer and I translate what she has written. There are no words to describe exactly how I felt when I read this. Because this is a record of my birthday I am going to include what she wrote. Remember that up until this point in our relationship, although we had joked about getting married, I was not yet prepared to fully believe that she loved me and would marry me. The translation is Google so not that great, but the important parts are clear, at least to me.

Papi (her term of affection for me), you are my love, my great love ... you are the man that God has allowed to come into my life, to rejoice, to make me happy in every way ... make me happy every moment of the day, you make me happy in bed, you make my being, my body reacts to every touch, every contact .... your kisses, your caresses, the way you are, you're special. YOU HAVE COME INTO MY LIFE ... today I offer you a bottle of champagne .... not because you're going, but because you came into my life just when it most necessary. That today our last night .... but this year ... because I will be waiting for the year 2016 and you will be my husband, my partner, my friend, my accomplice, my lover, my partner, my dreams promoter. We will have a home, a family, and be happy, because first of all ask God that He bless us and direct us in everything that we will be .... constructing a cabana, .. love you, I love you ... I swear before God that there will not be another man in my life and that I will be waiting as long as our goals will be necessary .... RESPECT, TRUST, HONESTY ... I toast you, you toast me, offered by the two. To our health .... I drink because I met you, I drink to celebrate that you came into my life, I give because even if you go you are coming back ... and I'll be waiting for you ......TO OUR HEALTH together my love!

With that we opened the champagne, which was quite the struggle. I was expecting it to blow when the cork finally popped but we got nothing and we laughed and laughed. I poured the champagne into our coffee cups, the only thing we had and she joked about us drinking champagne from coffee cups. Very fitting for our relationship. She then gave me my gift. She had brought along a number of very sexy outfits and she asked me to take photos of her in each of them, I guess as both a memory and to remind me what I was coming back for. It sure worked.

The obvious happened and in the morning she made the coffee and we sat outside and talked and talked. Finally I realized that Dillan was coming soon to take us to the airport in Quito so we had our last shower together, which was really tough because we both knew it was our last, so there were a lot of tears amongst the suds. By the time we got everything packed we had no time to eat any breakfast so we stopped at a deli on the way to Quito. She got me some cheese and baked things, something of which would soon not agree with me. Back in the taxi we hugged, kissed and caressed each other, knowing what was coming too soon. At one passionate moment I joked that we were going to need to ask Dillan to close his eyes. We were both on the verge of tears but managed to keep it together for the most part.

As we’re traveling through the mountains in the middle of nowhere I realize that I am going to need a bathroom and quick. Something is coming back on me big time and making me very anxious. As we finally reach the airport Dillan is driving around and around trying to find a parking spot, which apparently doesn’t exist. Finally I can’t wait another minute so I tell him to go back to the airport and drop us off. I head for the nearest bathroom, just in time. My suit would not have survived.

The next couple of hours were a whirlwind of crazy activity. I realized that I had forgotten to get my two cartons of cigarettes from Monica back in Cotacachi so we ask if where the duty free is, but get no answer. We are then told that it’s over in the other building across the way from the terminal, so off we go, but then I realize that I don’t have enough money to pay Dillan and buy cigarettes. I also realize that I’ve drained my US bank account so I need to transfer some money from my Canadian US account. This normally can take up to an hour but the last time I did it when my pensions came through it only took a couple of minutes so I was hoping that the same thing would happen now when I so desperately needed money. Back at Puerto Lago I had attempted to pay for our meal with my Canadian VISA but the PIN was apparently wrong. I hadn’t used it since I left Canada so I thought I just couldn’t remember it. It turned out it was right so I have no idea why it didn’t work at Puerto Lago.

When we had checked in to COPA they told me my large suitcase was overweight and would cost me a hundred and twelve dollars, money I didn’t have. They suggested buying another bag for carryon and packing what was overweight, so off Patricia ran to buy another bag. Twenty dollars but a lot better than a hundred and twelve. Dillan and Patricia pulled my shoes out of the big bag, which I thought would weigh more than clothes, and packed them into the bag she just bought. When we went back to check my now okay large suitcase in at COPA a tour bus must have just arrived because there was a huge line of people checking in. Patricia, in typical fashion for her, just skirted the entire line and took the bag to the guy who had told us it was overweight. He just stopped dealing with the people in line and checked my suitcase in. One problem solved.

After we checked my suitcase in at COPA and as we sat having a coffee, I logged on to the airport network and transferred some money to my US account in New York, then waited and waited. Finally it showed that the money was in my account so off we rushed to the ATM. Nada. Didn’t work. So we rushed to find the bank and tried the machine there. Nada. Still didn’t work. I had given my bank card to Patricia for money in Cotacachi before so I assumed she was entering the right information in Spanish at the bank, but I guess she wasn’t because as soon as I entered the information in English I got my money. Enough to pay Dillan and to buy my cigarettes, barely. We still couldn’t find anywhere to buy my cigarettes and time was getting short for me to check into security for my flight.

Finally that terrible moment came when I would have to leave her. We went to where I thought we had to say our goodbyes and we hugged and kissed and cried. I then rounded the corner and realized we had said our goodbyes earlier than we needed to because security was down the hall, so off we went. We asked the lady at security about my stupid cigarettes and she said there wasn’t anywhere to buy them, so I gave up, even though they were about twenty-four dollars a carton in Ecuador and a hundred dollars a carton back in Canada. We again kissed and hugged and said our tearful goodbye and I went through security. After I had gone through security I will never forget her last wave and blown kiss goodbye. It was a knife in my heart and I had to wonder if I would ever see her again. It was just brutal.

As I headed down the hall towards my gate I came into what was obviously a huge duty free area. I asked the first person I saw if I could buy my cigarettes here and she said no. I wandered a little further and there in front of me where stacks of cartons of cigarettes, so I bought two, finally. I found my boarding gate and sat waiting in total sorrow and questioning what the hell I was doing.

I was leaving the place that I loved and, more importantly, the woman I loved and, even more importantly, the woman who loved me. This was all so completely crazy but what else could I do? Marrying her would have solved the residency issue, but what were we going to live on? I had basically exhausted my pensions for the month. I was in the country illegally now with no hope of getting residency now that my passport had been reported stolen. I only had a temporary passport that allowed me to fly. My six month visa had long since expired back in May. I couldn’t stop thinking that if that bitch had not kept my passport and defrauded me out of the three hundred and fifty dollars maybe I could have stayed. Patricia was only paying sixty dollars a month for her apartment. It was rough and needed a ton of work but couldn’t we have done it and survived until we got married? She clearly intended for us to get married when I came back, so why not now? I thought about all the reasons I was leaving, most critically the falling Canadian dollar which meant I had lost another one hundred and fifty dollars a month and I couldn’t afford to live, so how were we going to do it with both of us to support? Why was I leaving, intending only to come back? It was all making no sense and I felt that I was doing everything wrong, which only made it that much harder to leave her. My heart just ached.

As I had been dealing with what they call migration officials she was calling and calling me, but I couldn’t answer the phone when these guys were asking me all kinds of questions about my temporary passport. I was thinking, fine, don’t allow me to fly and tell me I have to stay in Ecuador. That would be great regardless of the mess I would be in. At least I would not be leaving the love of my life. That would be a whole lot better than what I was doing, wouldn’t it? Unfortunately they accepted my passport and waived me through. While one guy had been entering my passport number and having a tough time getting the unusual number accepted, the other guy had been chatting with me in English. I had said that I was returning to Ecuador to marry the love of my life and he said to hurry back. I was thinking that tomorrow would be good.

Well, this has been more about Patricia and my trip back than my birthday but it’s all about how I feel on my birthday, which obviously isn’t great. I wish so much that I had internet so I could at least message her on Facebook. She must be going crazy wondering where the hell I am. Greg had said I would have internet when I got here so she doesn’t know any different. I am praying that she figures something is wrong and I don’t have internet, not that I am in any way ignoring her, which would be terrible and really upset her. It would just kill me if she thought for one second that I was ending our relationship. Not a chance.

An update here. I had gone across the road to see if the neighbor had internet and could send an email to Greg. I was hoping he would allow me to bring my computer and access the internet, but he doesn’t know Greg that well or me at all, so he just sent an email telling Greg that I had no heat, hot water or internet. He came over a while later telling me that he heard back from Greg. Eric, his general contractor, was going to come by later today which will hopefully solve the hot water issue and I can finally have a shower. He said Greg said the heat and the internet will take a few more days, which is a total killer.

I need the internet for so many things right now, not the least of which is to contact Patricia. She is not going to be happy with this one bit. I asked the neighbor if there is internet in Foxboro but he doesn’t think so. There is a restaurant that I saw on the internet and thought was in Foxboro, but apparently it is a distance from town. Right now I don’t have a phone to call a taxi or any Canadian money left. The neighbor said I would probably need to go to Belleville to get a SIM card for my phone, but Greg said the internet package includes a home phone so spending money on my cell phone is probably pointless. In Ecuador a SIM card is like three bucks and you can buy minutes. I doubt that’s the case here. I seem to remember that a SIM card is like fifty bucks, so that’s not going to happen. I’ll be lost without my cell phone but who am I going to be calling here? Once I have the internet I can call anywhere, including Ecuador, for free on Google.

So, happy birthday to me! Obviously not going to go down in history as one of the better ones, by a long shot.


Life is what happens while you are making other plans

This is an email I sent to my dear friend, Heather, today - 

Hope your surgery went well and you are on the mend. Sucks to get old, eh?

Well, life is getting even more challenging, if that is even possible. I think for the first time in my life I am totally lost as to what to do. The Canadian dollar is absolutely killing me. Yesterday I transferred my last dime and $200 cost me $300. Brutal. This money was to pay my rent on Friday and I’m left with zero to buy food for the rest of the month.

I knew it was going to be tough to survive here even with the lower cost of living, but since I started researching the move I’ve lost $150 a month because of the dollar and that has left me without enough to pay rent and buy food, with nothing else. I used to drop in to the bake shop for coffee and a brownie, more to meet people and talk up the websites, but it was a nice social thing to do. That’s gone. I had to meet Dutch yesterday, who I owe sixty dollars to and can’t pay him, and I couldn’t even have a coffee. I used to go dancing Saturday night and might have two drinks at $4 apiece, but I can’t do that now and I miss it. People are asking me where I was on a Saturday night and I don’t know what to say. I don’t even have the $2 cover charge for which you get a beer. There’s so much going on around town, tours and hikes that I should be doing for the website, but I just can’t.

Obviously, when I first planned to move I knew it would be tough to survive, not as tough as it’s been, but I also had faith that long before now I would be earning some money from my websites. Before I even left Canada I had met Anna who was going to work for me as soon as I got here. I figured I would be earning a few hundred dollars a month at least by February or so. That obviously didn’t work out and I’ve been struggling to find someone to do sales for me ever since. I was so thrilled when Phoenix was going to work for me, but that didn’t work out either. Even making a couple hundred dollars a month right now would save my ass.

It’s only the eleventh of the month, meaning twenty-one days left until I get my pathetic pensions again. I seem to be going backwards here. It’s also incredibly frustrating that that idiot back in London, who owes me at least three hundred dollars from what he’s sold, won’t answer me about anything. I don’t know what he’s sold for sure or what he has left. My friend Denise said she would go to his work and ask him what the hell he’s doing, plus she offered to take whatever he has left and sell it for me, but she’s been too busy working two jobs and hasn’t had time to get to him. My dealer friend, who Rick works for, got really angry at me asking him to find out what’s going on with Rick. I don’t know what else to do as the guy seems intent on ripping me off.

There’s also the mess with my former landlady who hasn’t paid me the two hundred dollars she owes me. She refuses to even answer my messages. I’ve had two friends that know her and I’ve asked for their help, including one of my taxi drivers, who I paid a lot of money to, whose father is a police chief, but I got nowhere. I never had a lease with her or any documentation on the rent she promised to pay me back when she asked me to move out, so I can’t go to the police to go after her. I so want to shame her on Facebook but the laws here are really tough on libel and slander, so without any documentation I would really be taking my chances. She’s very active on Facebook though and I’ve warned her that I will make it public if she doesn’t pay, but that got nowhere either.

Although I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do given my situation with my insulin, I also have the return portion of my airfare. I’ve emailed COPA to see how I get a refund, but the cost of the trip now is a lot higher then back when I came, mostly because of the falling dollar, so if I get a refund to help me survive, then have to return to Canada, it will cost me a lot more.

The situation with my insulin is really unclear right now. A guy in Hamilton volunteered to bring my insulin down, but then he checked with CATSA and they told him you can’t carry medications other than your own. I told him that when I brought my carry-on cooler bag with my six month’s supply of insulin packed in ice no one even asked me to open the bag. I had all my documentation from my doctor and the pharmacist but no one ever asked to see it. I told him Denise would unpack the vials from the boxes with my name on them and put it in a plastic container marked “insulin”. He could then pack it in his check-in luggage and if anybody asked he could say it was his and that he unpacked the boxes to save space. He wouldn’t budge, even when I said I was getting the insulin for free so even if he had to dump it I wasn’t any worse off, although, of course, I would be. Other people, mostly from the States, have offered to bring my insulin back with them, but I would have to courier the insulin to them in the States, which costs money I don’t have.

The other major issue with getting my insulin is that my pharmacist friend at Shoppers said he can’t renew my prescription because he now knows I am out of the country. I guess he must have gotten into some trouble when he supplied my dry meds because he clearly knew I was out of the country then as well. The doctor who prescribed my medications refused to renew my prescription for insulin unless she saw me, which is absurd, so I have to go back to my family doctor to see if she will do the prescription even though she has never done it before. Even if she does agree to give me the prescription it has to be given to my old pharmacy, Rexall and I have to pray that Denise can pick it up for me without any hassle. I’m going to tell her to tell them I am sick but need my insulin. It’s all so complicated and frustrating. I am this close to just giving up and going back to Canada, horrible as that will be.

I haven’t been able to get in touch with Kathy, the girl who’s been doing my residency application. I don’t know if she’s paid the $350 I gave her to pay the government fee. Immigration has my passport which means I can’t go anywhere, not even back to Canada without my passport. Two weeks ago she said she was going to pay the fee and courier my passport to me, but she picks now to not even respond to my emails. Of course, given that it’s Ecuador, I’m panicking that she’s done something with my money and not paid the government. Even if she has paid the fee that means I have to fly to Guayaquil to pick up my cedula and I don’t have a dime to do that. I need my cedula to register for the national health care plan so that I can at least get my meds in three to four months, assuming I find a way to stay alive until then.

Even with all these troubles I just can’t stand the thought of being forced to give up and go back to Canada. Yes, I get my meds again and the GIS pension, but where the heck do I live and how do I survive? I have nothing but a few clothes and it would be brutal to try to start over again with nothing. I don’t know how I would even afford rent anywhere, let alone anything else, plus I’ve lost my dream of living out my life here in Ecuador, which I honestly don’t know if I can handle. I’ll never be able to afford to come back. I’ll have lost the months of very long days working on my websites because there’s no way I can do it from Canada. It’s so pathetic that the latest stats on my one website show that I am getting eight thousand visits a day and that the site is valued at over five grand. Talk about timing. I’ll have nothing but regrets and nothing to live for. I’ll go crazy with nothing to do. I don’t even have all my winter coats and boots that I gave away to survive if I’m homeless.

I feel that I am in a no win situation. The thoughts of starving are pretty bad. I’m diabetic and not eating will kill me, which, right now, in my lousy mental state, maybe isn’t all that bad. I just feel so beat down by everything that’s happening. I’ve lost control over my life and I have no clue what to do to get it back. Trying to survive when I can’t afford a coffee makes my life here just terrible. The smallest things, like getting my washing done for only a few dollars every week, is out of reach. I’ve looked at the food I have and know that it will not be enough to keep me going until the end of the month. I volunteer every Friday at the soup kitchen and realize I may soon need to eat there myself, not that one meal a week will keep me alive.

I know you must be sick of hearing my troubles and I’m sorry to burden you with them. I just feel so lost with no one to talk to and more lonely than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. All my dreams and efforts to make a better life for myself seem to be getting more and more impossible to achieve. Something has to change or I’ll lose it soon. My options seem to be dwindling fast.

If you’ve read all this, thank you, my dear friend. It helps to at least be able to vent about things and not keep them all trapped inside. I hope you know that.

Cheers!


Why I don't regret leaving Canada

There was a recent article in CuencaHighLife about why Expats go home. Many try to avoid that I told you so from friends and family by making up a cover story. It's a sick parent that needs care. My kids need my support. I need surgery and would feel more comfortable having it at home. Many simply admit that they miss some of the things back home, like Christmas with family or being able to shop at Wal-Mart.

This got me thinking about my own decision to move to Ecuador and, most recently, the thought of being forced to return to Canada if I couldn't get my residency here, on which I came close. What would I be returning to? Basically I would have been homeless in Toronto, a city I loathe. My pensions would not have been enough to live on pretty well anywhere in Canada. I would have my meds paid for which helps, but, as my dear friend put it, I would basically be "molding", waiting to die. Not much of a life.

As with any major life-changing decision, there were many, many factors involved. Someone said to me that you need to consider why you are moving to somewhere and not why you are moving from somewhere. That's easier said than done. I knew that I was far from happy living in London, Ontario and had to make some kind of move. It boiled down to leaving the country or moving back out West where I had spent fourteen of the best years of my life.

The problems with moving back out to the Okanagan were numerous. First and foremost, it's very expensive to live in the Okanagan. It's become the lifestyles of the rich and famous to live there and my pensions would mean I could barely afford rent. At sixty-five there's little chance that I would find any kind of employment and for the life of me I couldn't think of any business idea that would make me some extra money. The other issue was lifestyle. My wonderful years in the valley were spent with numerous friends and loads of activities, pretty well none of which I would be able to do now, both from a financial standpoint and my deteriorating health. My life was full of physical activity, like skiing, roller-blading, dirt-biking, cross-country skiing, downhill skiing, playing racquetball, hiking, biking and dancing two or three nights a week at the Corral. When I first left the Okanagan to go to Panama I sold everything I had. I no longer had any of my "toys" like my snowmobile, my dirt-bike, my boat, my truck or anything like my water skis, my cross-country equipment or my downhill skis. I would be starting over with nothing and my health would mean I couldn't do pretty well anything anyway, so moving back out West was ruled out.

Another huge factor about moving out West was that my parents were now both gone. I originally had moved out West back in 1993 to be with my mother who had been diagnosed with fifth stage melanoma and was only given a five percent chance of living another six months. She defied all odds and lived until 2007 so I got to spend a lot of great times with her. Although my relationship with my Dad was rocky at times, we still had great times dirt biking around Kelowna and in Revelstoke. They lived on the lake in Westbank so we had a lot of great times at their place. After Mum was in a home I had sold their place, so that was gone now. My sister had pulled my mother out of the care facility I had worked so hard to get her in and that was a total disaster. I blame her for basically ending my mother's life, for which I cannot forgive her. My brother was useless from the start and couldn't even care for Mum for one day to give me a much needed break. It boiled down to not having any family out West.

As for my own family, when I came back from Panama to Toronto in 2009 I hoped I would be able to reconnect with my kids and meet my five grandkids as well. Despite my best efforts I had not seen or even spoken to my daughter since moving West in 1993. My brief connection with my son when he found himself in trouble with the law about his work ended just as quickly. We had reconnected briefly when his job brought him to London but that ended badly as well and we haven't spoken since. Despite my horrible situation with my kids I am a strong believer in family and hoped that we could put things back together, but my dear friend again said I could sit around waiting for them until I died. If I moved to Ecuador and somehow magically they wanted to reconnect there's always Skype and I could return to Canada for Christmas maybe. It sounded like a much better alternative.

Of course living in Canada means dealing with winter. When I was out West I loved the winter because I cross-country skied two or three times a week. I ran the hiking club even in the winter. I snowmobiled around Kelowna and mostly in Revelstoke with my brother-in-law and we had a ball. I downhill skied at Big White and Silver Star as often as I could afford. I even got to skate on the lake one year when Green Bay froze. Once I moved to London, Ontario the winter was just cold and miserable. I froze waiting for the buses. Driving was horrible. I never did a thing in the five years I was in London and it was just plain cold. Nothing was good in the winter. I knew I wouldn't miss it a bit.

Since arriving in London I had worked all day, every day, trying to find a job and I had applied for over a thousand jobs and never got one interview. The only job I got was at a call centre, Stream Global, the worst company I had ever worked for in my entire life. I was making the grand sum of eleven dollars an hour, thirty percent of which went to my landlord because I was in a geared to income building. Revenue Canada also came after me and got a garnishee for another thirty percent of my income, so I was left with pretty well nothing to live on. As I approached sixty-five I accepted that I was never going to find a job anywhere. I had been accepted into a self-employment program but that was running out in December so I would only have my pensions to live on. I was also looking at London Housing and ODSP coming after me for undeclared income which would only make things worse. I had declared bankruptcy and had just finished the two years paying for it and didn't want to go through that again. I knew that they couldn't touch me in Ecuador.

So, I get it. If I had a great relationship with my kids and grandkids naturally I would miss them terribly and this might well make me want to return to Canada to be with them, but this isn't the case, much as I wish it were. Christmas? I've spent the last five years alone with no real Christmas. Friends? Despite my best efforts I was never able to make a single friend in London. It's a cold town. Winter? Nothing to miss there. I much prefer year round spring here in Ecuador.

Finally, is life in Ecuador perfect? No. Things are a lot different here. The language barrier is huge and I need to improve my Spanish. The pace of life is a lot slower and getting things done can be frustrating. There's a ton of things I miss, like being able to buy my much loved President's Choice products or treating myself to Wendy's. I can't get things shipped overnight like I so often did in Canada. I can't go to see a movie in 3D. It's hard to find products you are used to, but you make do. The most important difference is that life here is a lot more affordable and less stressful, so it's all well worth it.

So, I have no regrets about the decision to move to Ecuador. Not a one.

 


Are We Having Fun Yet?

This is yours truly's personal experience as a Canadian coming to Ecuador to live out what's left of my life. This post is more of a journal covering my preparations for filing for residency as a pensionado and my journey to avoid being forced to return to Canada.

Your own experience will be determined by where you live, which will then determine if you deal with an Ecuadorian consulate or the Embassy in Ottawa. The general advice if you are looking at moving to Ecuador is first to visit the country for an extended period, at least a month and more if you can. Your tourist Visa gives you ninety days to explore the various regions and determine what area you might want to move to. There are vast differences in areas of the country, from climate to culture. Coming from Canada you will certainly experience culture shock with Ecuador. For some people it's simply too much. Others consider it an adventure. The number one issue you will face everywhere in the country is language. The more proficient you are in Spanish the better off you will be. Bring a good translation book or a smart phone with Spanish downloaded. The Ecuadorian people in general are very warm, friendly and more than willing to help you, but you must make an effort to speak to them in Spanish.

Ecuador has more diverse regions than just about any county in the world. The difference between living in a large city like Guayaquil, which is very hot and humid all day, every day, and anywhere in the mountains, such as Cotacachi, at very high altitude, with more spring-like weather all year, are vast. Many places, such as Cuenca, which has a very large Expat population, have many of the things that Canadians are familiar with, such as malls and theatres. More remote areas don't have many of these common North American type venues.

In my case I made the decision to up and move to Ecuador, for many reasons I won't go into here. I had spent sixteen months living in Boquete, Panama, so I had some experience with the culture shock and knew that it wouldn't be a problem for me. After months of research I made the decision to move to Cotacachi in the mountains, mostly because I had spent fourteen wonderful years in BC and saw many similarities in Cotacachi. I am no fan of extreme hot or cold weather, so Cotacachi's climate seemed ideal.

After considerable research on the immigration requirements of Ecuador I traveled to the consulate in Toronto to start on preparing my documents. Unfortunately, before my four hour trip from London, I was given totally inaccurate information on what to bring. For example, I had brought colour copies of my various identification. What I didn't know was that any documents had to be notarized and then submitted to the official government documents office, a government agency I didn't even know existed. Off I went to the closest notary and then to the government office then back to the consulate, only to be told that they were closing at 1:00 in the afternoon. They told me I needed a bank statement showing I had sufficient funds, something they didn't qualify, so off I rushed to my closest bank branch and came back minutes before the consulate was closing. They told me they couldn't deal with me and that I would need to come back. No concern was shown for my four hour trip.

Given the frustration of dealing with the consulate I contacted the Embassy in Ottawa and I met Rolando, who turned out to be an incredibly helpful person. After I explained my disappointing experience with the consulate he informed me that he would, in fact, be moving to the consulate in the new year. He then asked me to send him my passport and the documents I had prepared and he said he would get me a six month Visa, which he did. He was most helpful in getting my Service Canada pension letters translated and many other things. When I left Canada I felt that I had everything I needed to apply for my Visa when I arrived in Ecuador.

Here's the first of many mistakes I made. With a six month Visa I was in no hurry to apply for residency, plus I had to wait to receive my GIS pension to pay to file. Second, I didn't know that you had to register your Visa right away. No one told me that nor was there a word on the government website about it. Lessons learned.

Although I did have the funds to apply for residency originally, I ended up in a private hospital for four days, which cost me an outrageous $1,200 so there went my residency fund. What happened with my GIS pension would fill a book. Save to say that the amount I was promised to receive by the end of Janaury didn't happen. After three months of calling Service Canada, getting nowhere, I contacted my MP in London, who then started going through what I had experienced, also getting nowhere. In total desperation I then emailed the Minister, somewhat dramatically saying that there would be a letter on my cold dead body blaming my government for my demise. To my considerable surprise I received a call from a supervisor at Service Canada two days later advising me that everything had been sorted out and I should receive the money in a couple of days.

Another important factor that I learned only after I arrived here was that there was a three month waitig period before you could apply for the national health care plan, and that was only after you received your cedula, a process which also takes about a month after you apply. Thanks to my pharmacist and OHIP I had managed to bring a six month supply of my very important diabetic medications with me, but with the delays in applying for my cedula I would run out long before I was in the plan. Given that my Visa was about to expire on May 29th I had contacted a facilitator in Quito to start the process when I hopefully got my GIS, but time was running out on me. He had registered my Visa, but was waiting for the $850 to start my application.

Prior to finally getting my GIS I had posted a desperate plea on Facebook for help. A person had advised me to contact an organization called VisaAngels in Cuenca. I could write yet another book on how wonderful they were in helping me, although what I had to go through was difficult, to say the least. Kathy, one of the angels, told me that recent change to immigration laws for Canadians would make it very difficult to file in Quito. Her experience was that it was much easier in Guayaquil. She wanted me to come to Cuenca where she was based and we would travel the three hours to Guayaquil to file my application there. Despite the fact that I thought my documents were perfect with the help of the Embassy, they weren't, so she had to arrange to do a number of additional translations.

I left Cotacachi on an early morning bus and I asked the driver if I would then catch a bus in Otavalo for Quito and then Cuenca and he said that was correct. When I arrived in Quito I asked where the bus was for Cuenca and was told several different places, all of which proved wrong and then finally I got the right booth. She informed me that the only bus to Cuenca left at 10:00 o'clock that night, twelve hours from now. Obviously panicked now I started wandering around looking for help. A man told me that I was at the wrong bus terminal for a bus to Cuenca and then found me a taxi to take me to the right terminal. I should have asked, but the next thing is that I have a thirty dollar taxi fare to the new terminal. I did find the right bus which was leaving in a hour, but it didn't get into Cuenca until 10:00 o'clock that night. Nine hours in that bus was no fun.

The next morning Kathy picked me up at the ungodly hour of five o'clock from my hostel and we headed off to Guayaquil, three hours away. Once the sun came up we realized what amazing country we were traveling through, high up in the mountains. Another couple, Richard and Carolyn from Winnipeg, were also with us to file for their residency. Other than the crazy traffic, the only comment I can make about Guayaquil is how unbelievably hot and humid it was. I can't believe that 2.6 million people make it their home.

We had some running around to do after we arrived, things I had no clue why we were doing, but we were in Kathy's capable hands so we didn't question anything. When we finally arrived at immigration I couldn't believe how huge the office was and how many people were waiting to be dealt with. When our number finally came up Richard and Carolyn went first. A few minutes later Richard comes back, hands me my file and photos and tells me that Kathy said that my Spanish was good enough to go it alone, so watch for my number to come up. Given how all this had gone so badly from the start I was trying not to shake. When my number was called I was met by a most grim looking man who I thought just wanted to deny me acceptance. I did notice that he was the only one of the clerks who was wearing a suit and tie so I told him he looked very professional. He seemed to warm a little, although he must have gone through my documents five times, reading every single word. My only goal was to not shake. Finally he sent me off to pay my thirty dollars and things appeared to be fine, which Kathy confirmed later, they were and I could stay in Ecuador. I still won't feel totally relaxed until I actually get my cedula, which I also just learned I need to go to Guayaquil again to get my photo taken and receive my cedula.

Only fitting that after Giovanny at my hostel made numerous phone calls about getting a more direct bus back and his mother had actually gone out to the bus terminal to buy my ticket, after I had confirmed that I had to switch buses in Otavalo to get the one for Cotacachi, I peered out the window and realized that we had not stopped in Otavalo. I asked a fellow passenger where we were going and he told me to Ibarra, so after all those hours on the bus I manage to find a way to spend even more hours getting back to Cotacachi. I was never more happy to finally be home and now I have thoughts that hopefully this will now be my home forever. Hopefully I will soon receive the email telling me I have been approved and then off I go again to Guayaquil. My cedula entitles me to a fifty percent discount on in country flights, so maybe I can fly back and avoid that long bus ride.


My Facebook Post

Admittedly out of total desperation, I did this post on Facebook. I got a lot of responses, mostly sympathy and one offer to invest which turned out to be bogus.

A friend recently wrote a very lengthy post about her health challenges and she generated a huge amount of support, which I’m sure she appreciated. Partly because you never know who is reading your posts, but mainly because I find myself in a desperate situation, I am making the difficult decision to lay out my cards in the hopes that someone can help.

In making the decision to move to Ecuador I did a lot of research on gaining my residency. Working with the Ecuadorian Embassy in Ottawa I had all the required documents prepared to submit my application. When I turned 65 in October I would be receiving two pensions which met the minimum income requirements for residency. I would also be receiving another pension, called the GIS. Last September I spoke directly to a lady at the GIS processing centre who confirmed that I would receive $455 a month starting in November; however, they were running sixteen weeks behind in processing so the money would be deposited in my account by the end of January. I asked her if I should wait until I actually received this money before traveling in Ecuador and she assured me that there would be no problem and told me to “have a good time”.

I sold everything I owned and came to Ecuador December 2nd. I knew that with the lower cost of living here I could survive on my two pensions and I had some extra funds as a safety net. I planned to file my residency application in February; however, I took sick and my landlady made the unfortunate decision to bypass the public hospital in Otavalo and instead take me to a private hospital in Ibarra. When I went to check out four days later I was shocked to be presented with a $1,200 bill. There went my money to file for residency but I figured I could file after I had received the GIS pension. I needed to file in February because of the three month waiting period for my medical coverage.

January came and went and no deposit. Thus began more than a two month process of phoning them every week, but getting no response. They threw all kinds of new requirements at me and at one point said they would not approve any funds until I returned to Canada. Finally I got my local Member of Parliament involved and she had a way of speaking to the GIS people directly, so she got some answers, none of which were good. They said that the information I had been given back in September was all wrong and they approved a payment which was a fraction of the $455 I had been told. This has left me with no way to fund my residency application and my current six month Visa expires May 29th, forcing me to return to nothing in Canada. I have nowhere to live and will be homeless trying to get into scarce space in shelters. My limited pensions mean that I will need geared to income housing; however, the wait list in Toronto is currently two years.

The saddest part of being forced to return to Canada is losing the website business I have worked on day and night for eight months. Before I came to Ecuador I registered WelcomeToEcuador.ca, a website designed for Canadians who were looking to visit or relocate to Ecuador. After arriving here I also registered domains for Banos, Cotacachi, Cuenca, Guayaquil, Quito and Vilcabamba. In addition to display advertising I was also developing business directories, events calendars and forums. My primary site is coming up on page one of search results now, plus 144 people have subscribed to the site without any promotion. Working with the Ecuadorian Embassy in Canada I got approval to use the official tourism logo, the only site that can, plus they said they would keep me informed on any developments by the government.

Accepting that returning to Canada will destroy my business I am willing to sell an interest in the business to be able to stay here and grow the business. I am proposing a forty percent interest for five thousand dollars, far less than it’s worth, but I must accept the reality of my situation. I would expect a ten times return on this investment within a short period. Anyone familiar with the business of websites knows that growth can be exponential if you have the right formula. International Living just voted Ecuador the number one country for retirement and there is huge interest from Canadians right now. Over half of the sixteen hundred lots available at Mirador San Jose have been sold to Canadians.

On a personal level I love Ecuador and I love Cotacachi, where I live. Everything from my research about the country has proved to be true and I don’t want to leave. My plan was to travel the country, taking photos and writing articles for the websites. I was about to hire a Sales Director to handle business directory listings and advertising sales. I know the business is there and will be profitable. I just hope that someone shares my faith in Ecuador and will join me in growing this business.

Thank you.


The only constant in life is change

This website was originally mostly for my kids, just in case they or the five grandkids I have, who I have never met, ever wondered about me. Then it was the model for a project I developed, YourLifeDomain, which I honestly believed would be very successful because it allowed everyone to have their very own website about their life. I'm sure it went nowhere only because I didn't have the clout of a Google or Microsoft, even though I tried very hard to pitch it to them. I'm sure like everything else they will come out with something similar soon and make millions from it.

At too many other times in my life the site has been therapeutic, allowing me to vent about something that was bringing me down. This is one of those times. I doubt anyone is still following me or cares, but this is still a record of sorts of my life, good and bad. Right now is really bad, probably as bad as it's ever been. Like everyone I've had some traumatic moments in my life, the worst still being when my Dad died in my arms. Some decisions I've made have not always worked out, like when I made the decision to move out West to be with my mother for whatever years she had left after being diagnosed with cancer. I had no idea that one of the consequences would be losing my daughter, who I now haven't had any contact with for over twenty years. I honestly thought she would come out for vacations, partly to see me, but also because she loved it out West and she loved my family. I don't know if what happened was her decision or her mother's, because she was always so paranoid that Heather would move out West and leave her. I'll never know. Not a day has gone by that I don't think of my daughter and miss her terribly.

Late last year I realized that I was basically wasting my life just praying that one day my kids would make the decision to connect with me and I would get to be involved with my five grandkids. I had been living in a city I loathed, London, for five years and there was no good reason to think anything was ever going to change with my kids. My dear friend, Heather, basically summed it up that I was molding waiting for something that would never happen. We talked for hours about me wanting to move to Ecuador where I had a shot at a much better life. She was oh so correct in saying that I would regret not going, giving up on my dreams.

The more I researched Ecuador the better it looked. I knew there was no way I could survive in Canada on my limited pensions and I faced just eking out a living. The cost of living was so much lower in Ecuador and I would certainly be better off there. They also had an excellent health care program where everything would be included for only eighty dollars a month, including my very expensive medications. They had just removed the age limit of sixty and removed pre-existing conditions, which being diabetic, would have excluded me. I was looking at several really nice apartments for under three hundred dollars a month, unheard of in Canada. Plus, no more winter.

Prior to coming to Ecuador I had done a huge amount of research on websites about Ecuador. Ecuador was hot and not many Canadians even knew where it was, let alone all the wonderful things it had to offer to Canadians. I registered WelcomeToEcuador.ca and got to work. I barely had the site functional and already had 127 people subscribe to my site, so I knew I was on to something. I was at the Ecuadorian consulate in Toronto and one of the people there was on the visitor computer and on my website. When I mentioned to her that it was my site all the other people there said they had also visited my site and loved it. That was very encouraging.

I had also been in touch with the Ecuadorian Embassy in Ottawa about some of my documents. They were equally impressed by my website and not only promised to keep me up-to-date on information about Ecuador, but they approved me using the tourism logo on my website, a major fact given that no one else could do this. Things were starting to look very good.

I sold my wonderful little Honda and just about everything else I owned and flew to Ecuador December 2nd, full of promise about how much better off I was going to be, plus a sense of adventure about exploring this new country. I still had some misgivings about my kids, but, as Heather had said, there's always Skype and I could come back for a visit if that was in the cards. I had started working feverishly on my website project and had total faith that this was going to be successful, allowing me to travel the country to take photos and write articles, while making extra money to make my life even better.

My first major setback was ending up in hospital. Instead of taking me to a public hospital where everything was free, for some unknown reason my landlady took me to a private hospital in a nearby town. I didn't realize it was a private hospital until they presented me with a whopping twelve hundred dollar bill on being discharged. This was a major financial setback.

When I first looked at my finances for Ecuador I had been receiving my early pension plus I would soon receive the OAS, for just under a thousand dollars a month total. Not enough to live on in Canada by any means, but I would do better in Ecuador. This was before the dollar tanked so that hasn't worked out as planned. The other major part of my planning was the GIS that I would receive for six months. I spoke to a lady at the processing centre who had my application in front of her. She said I would receive $455 a month but that it would not be deposited until the end of January because they were that far behind. I knew that this pension ended if you were out of the country for more than six months so I told her I was thinking of traveling in Ecuador and asked if this would be any problem. She assured me that it wouldn't and told me to have a good time.

The end of January came and went and no money had been deposited. Thus started a program of calling Service Canada each and every week trying to find out what was going on. This money was needed for me to file for permanent residency in Ecuador and I needed to do this right away because it takes time. Getting nowhere I contacted my MP asking for help. She got answers although they weren't great. Instead of the $455 I had been told I only got $144 a month, not enough to file for my residency. My current Visa expires May 31st and without a residency application file I have to leave the country. This means returning to Canada with nothing. I have nowhere to live. I face getting off the plane and having nowhere to go. The saddest part will be giving up my dreams of Ecuador, mostly my website business.

The only possible alternative to returning to Canada is selling part of my business to be able to afford to file for my residency and stay here. I've approached some people back in Canada and, through my doctor, hopefully some contacts of hers in Ecuador. I have no real idea what the business is worth, although the name is certainly gaining some traction plus I am starting to show up on page one of search results. I worked all day, every day, seven days a week for months on my sites and that's certainly worth something compared to someone starting fresh. I've proposed forty percent for five thousand dollars US, not because that's all I think it's worth, but because that's what I need to survive. Not the right way to value a business with so much potential, but I accept that if I return to Canada the business is dead. There is simply no way I will ever be able to afford to return to Ecuador.

I've started planning my return, sad as that is. I've contacted COPA about my return flight. I've basically given my notice to my landlady about my wonderful apartment. I'm going to be selling everything I can't take with me, like my monitor and my printer. I continue to work on my websites just in case something happens, but it's hard to stay enthused, at least the way I was before. The time I have left seems so very short and it's depressing to say the least.


A near death experience changes your perspective on life.

Last night was as close as I ever hope to come. My cabana is freezing so I have a fire going constantly while I work on my computer. Every once in a while my landlady will come down to deliver a meal and she'll comment on how much smoke there is, something I don't often notice. Big mistake. Last night I thought I was just tired so I laid down on the bed for a quick nap. The next thing I remember is waking up in hospital with the doctor and the family all crowded around me. To my considerable shock when I asked what time it was I had lost three hours.

Life is timing. Apparently my landlady had brought down my dinner and found me unresponsive. They had called an ambulance and rushed me to the hospital, according to the doctor, within a scant twenty minutes of dying from carbon monoxide poisoning. Way too close for comfort.

To say that life has been challenging since making the decision to move to Ecuador would be a gross understatement. I could write a book on the factors that led me to this life-changing decision. After five years languishing in London, Ontario my dear friend Heather put it best. She said I was basically molding waiting for things to happen. My biggest wish after landing in London had been that my kids would reconnect with me and I would get to meet my five grandkids. Heather made me realize that I could well spend the rest of my life, living in a place that I loathed with a passion, waiting for something that would never happen. If I at least focused on me and did what I wanted to do and went to Ecuador and then the kids had a change of heart there's always Skype and I have a return ticket to visit if that was in order. Made sense to me.

As I said, there were a ton of other factors that led to the decision. My finances were in a total mess, with the house of cards I had built about to collapse on me. I had been drawing ODSP and not claiming the money I was getting under the self-employment program, meaning I would need to repay my support payments. I also had not been claiming my self-employment benefit to my landlord, who would take thirty percent of it. That was all about to get matched up through the government and would leave me in a mess with huge debts I could not pay back. Add how much I hated living in London and it was clear I had to get away.

It came down to moving back out West or moving to another country. My life out West had been amazing but I realized that my deteriorating health would mean that life would not be the same. My parents were both gone and I was estranged from my brother and sister, for good reason. I didn't have any boats or dirt bikes or snowmobiles and living on my meagre pensions I never would. I wouldn't be roller-blading or cross country skiing or hiking in the mountains. I couldn't even dance for hours at the Corral, something that was a huge part of my life. Many of my wonderful friends from those years had moved on and it was clear that life would be a hollow shadow of what it was before.

That left leaving the country and the question was to where? My time in Panama convinced me that there was no way I would ever go back there. I started researching various countries in warmer climes and settled on Ecuador for a host of good reasons. My research showed that Ecuador was positioned to be a prime tourist and retirement destination for Canadians. I felt that if I built a website dedicated to Canadians I could generate some extra income from the site. WelcomeToEcuador.ca was born and has consumed my waking hours since arriving in Ecuador. In my research I met Ana, a lady who lived in the Otavalo area and she offered to help me to get settled. She also expressed some interest in working for me and she was bilingual so that showed promise. It also helped me to decide on living in that area. The mountains were spectacular and reminded me of BC. The climate also seemed ideal. I booked a week at what looked like a fabulous cabin, intending to look for an apartment while I was staying there.

The cabin turned out to be more than I could have wished for and the family greeted me with such warmth that I thought of staying there longer term. With Ana's assistance we sat down and negotiated a deal for me to stay on a month to month basis. It was to include all meals, firewood, my washing once a week, DirecTV, cleaning and, most importantly, hi-speed internet for my work, for $350 a month. Looked like a good deal at the time but I soon learned that things are different in Ecuador.

When we first discussed me staying more long term I asked what current bookings they had. They only had two nights in February that had not been confirmed and they said they could put them in another cabin anyway. No sooner had I paid the rent for a month than they told me I had to move out to the main house for two nights. No sooner had I got settled back in than she tells me I have to move out yet again for two nights starting today. Not exactly what was planned or agreed. Added to this was she came and asked me to pay another month's rent to "help them out as a friend". This certainly caught me off-guard but I found myself explaining that because of the $1,200 for the hospital visit I had no extra money to "help out". That didn't go down too well. No sooner had I dealt with that than she asks me for $200 to pay their taxes. I've already paid the rent two weeks in advance, which I probably should not have done.

There's a lot of other things that aren't going according to plan. My cabana is freezing and they don't have the promised firewood, so I had to go and buy my own. My meals have basically been rice and salad and I've spent a fortune at the SuperMaxi in Ibarra on real food. No sooner do I give it to her to put in the fridge than someone in the family eats it. For New Year's Eve I bought two bottles of Bacardi Rum, but because I was feeling so lousy I only had one drink. The next day I discover that they have drank both my bottles and I'm still waiting for them to be replaced. Not only did I get to buy the rum but I also got to pay for the taxi even though they spent hours shopping. I seem to be the "cash cow" for everything. Oh, and my washing once a week? I have to beg for underwear. Cleaning? I get to do the cleaning. DirecTV? Still waiting even though I paid an extra $10 for it. Hi-speed internet? Still waiting and now they inform me that I have to pay an extra $20 for that. Time to move? You bet.


Another one of those life moments

We all experience those life-changing moments - getting married; the birth of a child; the death of a parent; changing careers; traumatic experiences and major health issues. They change our life path and shape who we are. Life is a combination of opportunity, dumb luck, fate and our own decisions. Among my life changing moments were getting married far too young when my soon to be wife got pregnant. The birth of my son and daughter, two of the most life altering experiences. Getting divorced after trying too hard to make it work for twenty-three years. At the time I didn't know it would result in the biggest regret of my life - losing my children. I have not spoken to my daughter in over twenty years and my attempts to reconnect with my son two years ago failed miserably. I have only held one of my five grandkids in my arms when she was just born. I believe my grandkids believe I am dead. The greatest mystery of my life is why my kids chose to cut themselves off from me and my entire family. I have always suspected that my ex was so paranoid about my kids moving out West to be with me in a place they loved that she lied to them and didn't give them any of the cards and letters I sent in the early years. They obviously believe I simply abandoned them which could not be further from the truth. I got so desperate to see my daughter that I drove down in the dead of winter, nearly losing my life in the process, only to have my ex and her new husband squirrel my daughter away and not let me see her.

The most traumatic and life altering event was the death of my father, who died in my arms after having an asthma attack in the water and what the coroner called "dry drowning". For an agonizing half hour I administered CPR, not really confident that I was doing the right thing until the paramedics told me to keep doing what I was, believing that I was killing my father with my own ignorance of CPR. My mother suffered from Alzheimer's, something my father could not deal with, so after he died I moved in with her to care for her. No one who has not experienced caring for someone with these horrible disease could ever understand just how difficult it is. My brother and sister were not the least bit supportive and her care fell only to me. I felt trapped because I couldn't go anywhere and leave her. The few hours I got every week when a caregiver came to give me a much-needed break were never enough. My own life was put on hold. My asshole brother, a nurse, only looked after her for one night and couldn't take it. He forgot to give her her medications. In the morning he called me and said to get home because he couldn't handle her, something I did 24/7. After eight long months pleading to get my mother in to a care facility and finally succeeding, my ignorant sister pulled her out and put her in an assisted living facility in Revelstoke. No sooner had she arrived than she was found wandering the streets of Revelstoke with no clue where she was. My sister went through the hell I had been living through and was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I had warned her that if she removed Mum from the care facility she would be assuming full responsibility for Mum and I would do nothing more. I have never forgiven my sister for what she did, and never will. In my eyes she killed our mother.


When your body starts falling apart. It will happen to you someday too.

The expression "the raves of the ages" is no more appropriate than when it comes to your body and your health. The years catch up to you long before you're ready. Yes, someday you will need the dreaded pill minder to keep track of all your pills and when to take them. That medicine cabinet that used to contain your Pepto and aftershave or perfume will soon be jammed with pill jars of every sort imaginable, many of which you won't even remember what they are for. Your calendar will go from keeping track of all the fun things you have planned, to all the doctor's appointments and tests you have. You'll be poked and prodded in every way possible trying to figure out what's now wrong with you. You think twice about taking that long awaited vacation because you don't want to be too far from your doctors.

Not that many years ago I was in the best of health. Even though back in 2004 I was diagnosed as diabetic all I took was Metformin to control it. I rarely checked my sugars, although I know I should have, but I could always tell by the way I felt. My diet didn't change much either, in fact, during my extensive renovation, when I didn't have a kitchen for six weeks, I ate fast food for every meal. It helped that I was busting my ass physically every day to work it off, but I was none the worse for wear and felt great.

My years in the Okanagan were filled with every activity imaginable. I roller-bladed for miles every Sunday. I dirt-biked in the hills around Kelowna and Revelstoke with my Dad and siblings. I water-skied, even learning to slalom. I ran a hiking club all year-round, hiking some really tough trails around Rose Valley and McDougall Ridge. In the winter I snowmobiled around Kelowna, but mostly in the mountains around Revelstoke. I downhill skied at Silver Star and Big White as often as I could afford. I cross-country skied at TeleMark usually three times a week. I played racquetball in a league at the Courtplex and usually went out and played for three hours on Sunday mornings. Back then they had a bar at the Courtplex and I would go off the court and light a cigarette and all the guys would look at me, amazed that I didn't cough my lungs out. I took the Canadian Lung Capacity test, three times, because the guy testing me couldn't figure out how I smoked, but I was in the top three percent of Canadian males. He figured his instruments were faulty. The most enjoyable thing I did was dance my butt off three nights a week at the Corral, usually from nine til two. That really kept me in shape.

My last couple of years in the Okanagan were spent renovating, first my parents' place to sell and then my own renovation from hell (long story). In my last year I worked fourteen hour days, usually seven days a week and it was all very physically demanding. When I did my river design out of rocks I figured I moved some fifteen thousand heavy rocks, placing them all around the house. Then there was framing and drywalling and painting and flooring and installing bathroom fixtures and kitchen cabinets. There was no shortage of things to do, but I loved it.

Even when things went horribly wrong and I had to flee the country to Panama, before I knew it I was renovating a three apartment house for a guy back in Kelowna. Other than playing a little pool at a local bar and taking one day to go to the ocean with friends, plus my side trips to Costa Rica to keep my tourist Visa alive, I worked very long days all over again. Except for a cold I could not seem to get rid of, I was healthy as an ox. I did continue the small doses of insulin I had been put on back home because of all the stress I was under and my sugars had spiked to life-threatening numbers.

When I returned to Canada to the safety of my cousin's place in Rexdale I did things like ride my bike all the way down from Islington and the 401 to go across to Centre Island. At one point after thinking I was not far from home I started walking, not realizing just how far it was. It had to be around thirty kilometres or so. I was exhausted by the time I got home. When I first moved to London, another long story, I biked all the trails in one day, quite the distance. I roller-bladed the trails and I ice-skated in the winter. Not a lot to do in this town. I did manage a couple of nights of dancing as well.

The downhill slide began when I was forced to leave the apartment I had been renting when the crazy landlady threatened to change the locks on me. I had no idea where I was going and stayed in my car, then a series of shelters. During this period I ran out of my medications, was out of them for six weeks and ended up in the hospital. I did not know at the time how much damage this had done. While living at the last shelter I got a job at Home Depot. At the time I could not afford decent steel-toed shoes so I bought the cheapest ones I could find and they were incredibly painful. After my shifts walking the concrete floors I could barely walk and this started it all.

Soon my feet were painful all the time. It felt like someone was holding a match under my feet and stabbing me randomly. Sleep was difficult. Walking was painful and I couldn't do anything physical anymore. Soon I was seeing a host of doctors and being put on all kinds of pills and doses of two insulins. The total lack of exercise and the insulin packed on almost forty pounds and I didn't wear it well. I had trouble hoisting myself up off the couch. The pain was intolerable and it sent me into depression. An EMG at the local hospital confirmed that I had peripheral neuropathy in my feet and it was starting in my hands, which terrified me because I spend all day on the computer. The doctor also said that the pain level was about a three and it would eventually be a ten. Not good news.

The other issue was that I developed what's called an incisional hernia which was a result of the botched surgery done in Panama to remove my gall bladder. It was painful at times and I was sent to consult with a surgeon at University Hospital. He confirmed that I had the hernia and required surgery, but said I was too fat for the surgery and if I had it done I might be in even more pain. He said I had to lose at least twenty pounds before he could operate. Just more good news. The results of the ultrasound for the hernia also showed that I had an enlarged liver and spleen. I still haven't seen a specialist on this one. I am also being referred for bariatric surgery but the wait times here in Ontario are up to ten years. I am also seeing a urologist in December because things aren't working down there, if you know what I mean. It's probably a combination of my age and the medications I take, not to mention my boy hasn't been called on to perform in years.

For me, the scariest issue is cancer. My mother nearly died because she had fifth stage melanoma but they caught it before it reached her lymph nodes, so she survived. Had it reached her lymph nodes and spread she was given less than a five percent chance of surviving more than six months. It was a terrible time for our family, partly because my mother was in the pink of health. She had never smoked and she walked five miles every morning. It made us all more aware of cancer. I had a birthmark on my forehead that had changed colour and developed little bumps. When I had it checked it turned out to be fifth stage melanoma and I had surgery to remove it. Just recently I had another birthmark that the doctor didn't like the look of, so I had a biopsy which came back positive as zero stage melanoma. The pathologist had the surgeon repeat the surgery to take a larger sample and I am waiting for the results. It's frightening on so many levels to think you have cancer.

So, if you have your health, treasure it. Eat right. Stay fit. One day you will look back on those days with longing. We are all mortal. I'm reminded of the saying, "live every day like it's your last because one day you will be right".