{"id":17534,"date":"2012-05-12T13:51:09","date_gmt":"2012-05-12T17:51:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/garycjones.ca\/?p=17534"},"modified":"2020-11-30T15:36:38","modified_gmt":"2020-11-30T20:36:38","slug":"crystal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/garycjones.ca\/?p=17534","title":{"rendered":"Crystal"},"content":{"rendered":"

[vc_row][vc_column width=”1\/1″][vc_column_text]Just when I thought it would never happen for me<\/p>\n

And I had accepted that alone I always would be<\/p>\n

She came into my life like a breath of fresh air<\/p>\n

Finally someone for whom I could really care.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It all started when I asked her to dance<\/p>\n

But I wondered, \u201cIs this the start of romance?\u201d<\/p>\n

She said she wasn\u2019t good enough to dance with me<\/p>\n

But right away I knew a great dancer she\u2019d be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We talked and we danced and we laughed that first night<\/p>\n

So comfortable with each other I knew it was right<\/p>\n

Our first \u201cdate\u201d was to go play pool<\/p>\n

\u201cBe cautious\u201d I said, don\u2019t be a fool.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You\u2019ve been hurt before by going too fast<\/p>\n

Take it slow with her so this one will last<\/p>\n

But her smile, her laugh, and my heart she had won<\/p>\n

At long last, I thought, I had found the one<\/p>\n

Who stirred feelings in me I\u2019d long given up on<\/p>\n

Now only thoughts of her with each new day\u2019s dawn.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Each day brought something new to share<\/p>\n

Not hard to believe I started to care<\/p>\n

But fate stepped in to get in the way<\/p>\n

She\u2019d booked a vacation to take her away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How ever will I survive this time apart?<\/p>\n

I knew it would hurt from the start.<\/p>\n

But I hoped we could still share in some way<\/p>\n

The fun she was having even so far away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The worst thing for me was Valentine\u2019s Day<\/p>\n

On my most special day she would be away<\/p>\n

So I tried to do something special for her<\/p>\n

Even though together I would much prefer.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But she wouldn\u2019t tell me where she was staying<\/p>\n

That cut like a knife I don\u2019t mind saying<\/p>\n

It was the very first sign I needed to know<\/p>\n

And it signaled what was the very first blow.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There was no contact from her for all those days<\/p>\n

And my mind started to wander in so many ways<\/p>\n

Everyone said to just wake up and see<\/p>\n

That with another man she really must be.<\/p>\n

But hope springs eternal they say<\/p>\n

And I kept thinking \u201cno way!\u201d<\/p>\n

But with each passing day and not a thing<\/p>\n

Her return only heartache would bring.<\/p>\n

For I would have to accept the truth so bad<\/p>\n

That she just didn\u2019t care made me so sad.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When she returned she just didn\u2019t get<\/p>\n

How what she did made me so upset<\/p>\n

She tried to explain that it\u2019s really tough<\/p>\n

To contact me, but it wasn\u2019t enough.<\/p>\n

The truth was she just didn\u2019t care<\/p>\n

My pain and concern she didn\u2019t share.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We talked and we agreed to give it a try<\/p>\n

To try to get passed this, I\u2019m not sure why<\/p>\n

As bad as I felt, I wanted her in my life<\/p>\n

We\u2019d get over this and have no more strife.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She\u2019d been warm, affectionate and \u201cconflicted\u201d<\/p>\n

To her charms I had become truly addicted.<\/p>\n

Making love? She wanted to wait<\/p>\n

We even, in jest, set a date.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her kisses just made me go out of my mind<\/p>\n

A girl who made me this crazy I didn\u2019t think I\u2019d find.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been a long time since I felt fifteen years old<\/p>\n

It\u2019s different when you\u2019re older I\u2019ve been told.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But all I could think of was being with her<\/p>\n

Every fiber of my body she did stir.<\/p>\n

Her touch, her kisses, her body – all too much<\/p>\n

It was downright impossible not to touch.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The kisses they stopped and the passion waned<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat am I doing wrong?\u201d I complained.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to be friends first,\u201d was the excuse<\/p>\n

But anyone with feelings knows this is a ruse.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you feel the attraction you just act<\/p>\n

Your body doesn\u2019t lie, it\u2019s a fact<\/p>\n

If you can suppress what you\u2019re feeling<\/p>\n

Then no passion is with what you\u2019re dealing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I have no idea of how to act with her now<\/p>\n

Just be her friend? I don\u2019t even know how.<\/p>\n

Thoughts of her even when in my sleep<\/p>\n

How do I suppress the love down deep?<\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to accept how cold she can be<\/p>\n

What is that stops her from caring for me?<\/p>\n

She says she likes affection, loves \u201cPDA\u201d<\/p>\n

But she barely responds, only pushes me away.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pull back and wait for her to come to me?<\/p>\n

Only disappointed and hurt will I be<\/p>\n

Friends? Lovers? I haven\u2019t a clue<\/p>\n

And I have no idea what to do.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I made the mistake of falling in love, no shame<\/p>\n

Hoping some day she would feel the same<\/p>\n

But she has clearly shown she doesn\u2019t want me<\/p>\n

Never more than a friend will I ever be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She says she\u2019s not \u201c100% available for a date\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a clear indication of how I don\u2019t rate<\/p>\n

My heart is hurting, never felt this bad<\/p>\n

Losing her makes me feel so sad.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She tires of hearing how much I care<\/p>\n

So continuing to love her I don\u2019t dare<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard for me to accept right now<\/p>\n

But to go on like this I don\u2019t know how.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Our friendship I treasure and hope it won\u2019t end.<\/p>\n

But in this little poem, the message I send.<\/p>\n

Is that for you, my love, I will always care<\/p>\n

More than you will ever know or share.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Please be patient with me and do not dismiss me<\/p>\n

You said you want honesty and this you will see<\/p>\n

Is better than living a lie I can no longer ignore<\/p>\n

To have told you I love you I could not regret more.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

To feel you don\u2019t want me by your side<\/p>\n

Brings tears and pain I wish I could hide<\/p>\n

But you have gotten right under my skin<\/p>\n

I so dearly wish your heart I could win.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That it\u2019s not meant to be I can now clearly see<\/p>\n

But please, as a friend, don\u2019t be cruel to me<\/p>\n

You are so very special to have in my life<\/p>\n

Even though I know now you\u2019ll not be my wife.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I just need some time to accept how it is for you<\/p>\n

And to try to do what seems impossible to do<\/p>\n

To stop loving you and wanting you so bad<\/p>\n

When all I can feel is rejected and sad.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Please, please, please don\u2019t react mean to me<\/p>\n

Accept how important you always will be<\/p>\n

I want to go on as the best of friends forever<\/p>\n

To dance and do all the great things together <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At least \u2018til you find the man that for you<\/p>\n

Makes you feel just the way that for you I do.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Love, always.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Your friend forever,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gary[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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