Never in my life have I been this sad
\nSo many things are making me mad
\nThese lines I write to get it all out
\nVenting my pain is what it\u2019s about.<\/p>\n
How did I get to this place in my life?
\nSo grief stricken and filled with strife.
\nMy fair share of mistakes I\u2019ve certainly made
\nToo many wrong choices, and for those I have paid.<\/p>\n
As I contemplate the final chapter of it all.
\nI begin to reflect on just how far the fall.
\nThere were times when I thought to give in
\nWould signal what would be a cardinal sin.<\/p>\n
I searched for some sign of a change coming
\nBut no matter how I prayed there was nothing.
\nEach twist and turn brought only new pain
\nWhy hang on when there was nothing to gain?<\/p>\n
Just when I thought it was all for naught
\nCame the glimmer of hope I had sought
\nMy cousin offered me a roof over my head
\nI thought for a moment I might not be dead.<\/p>\n
A door had closed but another had opened wide
\nI might get my life back if I swallowed my pride
\nIt gave me a chance to get out from the stress
\nOf having a life that had become such a mess.<\/p>\n
In the midst of my sorrow Denise came to me
\nShe so brightened my days and I began to see
\nThat with this amazing woman here by my side
\nMy life could be better, filled with such pride.<\/p>\n
Her beautiful smile and twinkling eyes
\nThat she loved me came as such a surprise
\nBut along with the joy came also new doubt
\nCould we be together was what\u2019s it\u2019s about.<\/p>\n
Mere words in a poem cannot be enough
\nTo capture how, without her, it\u2019s so rough
\nShe gave me some hope, but only so brief
\nThoughts of without her just brings me more grief.<\/p>\n
Impossible it seems that we\u2019ll ever see the day
\nWhen we can be together in that special way.
\nHer life, it\u2019s complex, simply no room for me
\nMore and more it looks like it\u2019s not meant to be.<\/p>\n
My life has no purpose if I can\u2019t share her life.
\nShe\u2019s the first one for me that I\u2019d want as a wife.
\nBut it doesn\u2019t look like there\u2019s a place for me
\nTo share hopes and dreams of what it could be.<\/p>\n
Her smile warms my heart and fills me with joy
\nThe way that she blushes and tries to be coy.
\nGod, why bring me this vision? Is it a sign?
\nYou know she can\u2019t ever really be mine.<\/p>\n
My father died in my arms that cursed day
\nMy life changed forever in the worst way.
\nIt was the start of a long painful fall
\nNow today, my back against the wall.<\/p>\n
I have nothing to offer and can\u2019t make it right
\nTo lose the love of my life, a painful plight
\nHad she only come at a much brighter time
\nOur life together could have been sublime.<\/p>\n
The dark shadows surround me and the sorrow grows
\nHow I\u2019ll ever get through this, God only knows
\nMy dreams of happiness have all come too late
\nAll alone and forever lonely. Is this my fate?<\/p>\n
It\u2019s said no love is worse than a love lost
\nBut when you lose, the pain is the cost.
\nIt tears at your soul that you can\u2019t do a thing
\nTo see the day when she wears your ring.<\/p>\n
Life happens while you\u2019re making other plans, it\u2019s said
\nSad that good fortune doesn\u2019t come before you\u2019re dead
\nIf it weren\u2019t for bad luck I\u2019d have no luck at all
\nDesperate hope is pointless. Time to heed the call?<\/p>\n
Let her go now before you hurt her even more
\nJust make sure that she knows it\u2019s her you adore
\nThat you will love her \u2018til your dying day
\nThat she is more special to you in every way.<\/p>\n
The tears flow too easily as I write this prose
\nSadness overwhelms me and I know it shows
\nGiving up is not something I\u2019d ever prefer
\nBut the odds, they are against me and her.<\/p>\n
Choices she makes will change how it goes
\nSuch a special lady, something everyone knows.
\nWe\u2019ve shared laughter and love, my sweet \u201cBabygirl\u201d
\nKnow that deep down you set my soul in a whirl.<\/p>\n
Neither of us knows what the future may hold
\nWithout me in your life your love may grow cold.
\nIf fate steps in to change your life plan
\nKnow that I always want to be your man.<\/p>\n
Today it appears to be impossible dreams
\nLiving and loving, out of our reach it seems.
\nYour struggles to be free must come first
\nFor me to be a factor would be the worst.<\/p>\n
Only you know where your life it will go
\nBut no matter what, there\u2019s one thing to know
\nYou brought such joy to a life so bleak
\nEternity with you is what I seek.<\/p>\n
Moments of weakness I wish you didn\u2019t see
\nStrength and support is what you need from me.
\nYou are strong willed, we know that is true
\nA pillar of strength is the right man for you.<\/p>\n
Had we met at a different place and time
\nI have no doubt that you would be mine.
\nA love like ours is so hard to find
\nAlways in my heart and in my mind.<\/p>\n
The pain and the sorrow are too much to bear
\nFor you I am longing, such much do I care
\nYou are my once in a lifetime girl, I know
\nOverwhelming feelings of love do I show.<\/p>\n
But the guilt of knowing I\u2019m not right for you
\nAt least not now, when you\u2019ve so much to do
\nSorrow and sadness, you\u2019ve had your share
\nTo just bring you more I do not dare.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s right here or wrong I have no clue
\nI only know my soul simply longs for you
\nTo kiss you and hold you in my arms
\nTo love you and share your many charms.<\/p>\n
Those glorious moments we spent with each other
\nTears well up when I sense they\u2019ll not be another
\nMy life is in ruins, little hope it will turn around
\nFor too few moments of happiness now to be found.<\/p>\n
You have been such a huge part of these recent days
\nYou\u2019ll never know how you thrilled in so many ways.
\nAlthough apart we did the best that we could
\nTo keep the fires burning we just knew we should.<\/p>\n
But texting and talking are just not enough
\nFor people like us it\u2019s simply too tough.
\nOur love is a start but we need the chance
\nTo be together, have time for romance.<\/p>\n
To laugh and cuddle and kiss and make love
\nTruly a great gift from the heavens above.
\nYour smile makes me crazy, of that be clear
\nMy job is to bring only more smiles, my dear.<\/p>\n
But when your soul is filled with such pain
\nBeing \u201cup\u201d all the time you cannot sustain.
\nThe reality of life rears its ugly head
\nAnd tears only flow like rain instead.<\/p>\n
You need someone in your life as special as you
\nSettling for me is not the right thing to do.
\nI know you\u2019ll be angry with me for this
\nBut know there is no one more I will miss.<\/p>\n
I believe in my heart that the love you have shown
\nIs more than one man could ever have known
\nEmotions ebb and flow like the tide
\nSadness and sorrow I cannot hide.<\/p>\n
Tears of joy turn to those of pain
\nA love like yours I\u2019ll not find again
\nA different place and time we might have been
\nLike star-cross lovers, the best we\u2019ve seen.<\/p>\n
Wishing and hoping that dreams will come true
\nIs never enough, and not the right thing to do.
\nTo get what you want needs decisions you take
\nIf a life together is what you will make.<\/p>\n
If those choices you make are not right for you
\nThen accept the alternative is what you must do
\n\u201cLove is blind\u201d only means you can\u2019t see
\nThat taking great risks will not set you free.<\/p>\n
It has to be possible and not just a whim
\nOr that bright future will only grow dim.
\nIn your life I\u2019m not what you need right now
\nWhen being together we have no clue how.<\/p>\n
Please don\u2019t forget me in all your days ahead
\nAlways remember, in my dreams, we were wed.
\nWherever life\u2019s journey in the future takes you
\nI hope you find another who loves you like I do.<\/p>\n
Love you, forever and always.<\/p>\n
Gary<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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