Just when I thought it would never happen for me

And I had accepted that alone I always would be

She came into my life like a breath of fresh air

Finally someone for whom I could really care.

 

It all started when I asked her to dance

But I wondered, “Is this the start of romance?”

She said she wasn’t good enough to dance with me

But right away I knew a great dancer she’d be.

 

We talked and we danced and we laughed that first night

So comfortable with each other I knew it was right

Our first “date” was to go play pool

“Be cautious” I said, don’t be a fool.

 

You’ve been hurt before by going too fast

Take it slow with her so this one will last

But her smile, her laugh, and my heart she had won

At long last, I thought, I had found the one

Who stirred feelings in me I’d long given up on

Now only thoughts of her with each new day’s dawn.

 

Each day brought something new to share

Not hard to believe I started to care

But fate stepped in to get in the way

She’d booked a vacation to take her away.

 

How ever will I survive this time apart?

I knew it would hurt from the start.

But I hoped we could still share in some way

The fun she was having even so far away.

 

The worst thing for me was Valentine’s Day

On my most special day she would be away

So I tried to do something special for her

Even though together I would much prefer.

 

But she wouldn’t tell me where she was staying

That cut like a knife I don’t mind saying

It was the very first sign I needed to know

And it signaled what was the very first blow.

 

There was no contact from her for all those days

And my mind started to wander in so many ways

Everyone said to just wake up and see

That with another man she really must be.

But hope springs eternal they say

And I kept thinking “no way!”

But with each passing day and not a thing

Her return only heartache would bring.

For I would have to accept the truth so bad

That she just didn’t care made me so sad.

 

When she returned she just didn’t get

How what she did made me so upset

She tried to explain that it’s really tough

To contact me, but it wasn’t enough.

The truth was she just didn’t care

My pain and concern she didn’t share.

 

We talked and we agreed to give it a try

To try to get passed this, I’m not sure why

As bad as I felt, I wanted her in my life

We’d get over this and have no more strife.

 

She’d been warm, affectionate and “conflicted”

To her charms I had become truly addicted.

Making love? She wanted to wait

We even, in jest, set a date.

 

Her kisses just made me go out of my mind

A girl who made me this crazy I didn’t think I’d find.

It’s been a long time since I felt fifteen years old

It’s different when you’re older I’ve been told.

 

But all I could think of was being with her

Every fiber of my body she did stir.

Her touch, her kisses, her body – all too much

It was downright impossible not to touch.

 

The kisses they stopped and the passion waned

“What am I doing wrong?” I complained.

“We have to be friends first,” was the excuse

But anyone with feelings knows this is a ruse.

 

If you feel the attraction you just act

Your body doesn’t lie, it’s a fact

If you can suppress what you’re feeling

Then no passion is with what you’re dealing.

 

 

 

I have no idea of how to act with her now

Just be her friend? I don’t even know how.

Thoughts of her even when in my sleep

How do I suppress the love down deep?

.

It’s hard to accept how cold she can be

What is that stops her from caring for me?

She says she likes affection, loves “PDA”

But she barely responds, only pushes me away.

 

Pull back and wait for her to come to me?

Only disappointed and hurt will I be

Friends? Lovers? I haven’t a clue

And I have no idea what to do.

 

I made the mistake of falling in love, no shame

Hoping some day she would feel the same

But she has clearly shown she doesn’t want me

Never more than a friend will I ever be.

 

She says she’s not “100% available for a date”

That’s a clear indication of how I don’t rate

My heart is hurting, never felt this bad

Losing her makes me feel so sad.

 

She tires of hearing how much I care

So continuing to love her I don’t dare

It’s hard for me to accept right now

But to go on like this I don’t know how.

 

Our friendship I treasure and hope it won’t end.

But in this little poem, the message I send.

Is that for you, my love, I will always care

More than you will ever know or share.

 

Please be patient with me and do not dismiss me

You said you want honesty and this you will see

Is better than living a lie I can no longer ignore

To have told you I love you I could not regret more.

 

To feel you don’t want me by your side

Brings tears and pain I wish I could hide

But you have gotten right under my skin

I so dearly wish your heart I could win.

 

 

That it’s not meant to be I can now clearly see

But please, as a friend, don’t be cruel to me

You are so very special to have in my life

Even though I know now you’ll not be my wife.

 

I just need some time to accept how it is for you

And to try to do what seems impossible to do

To stop loving you and wanting you so bad

When all I can feel is rejected and sad.

 

Please, please, please don’t react mean to me

Accept how important you always will be

I want to go on as the best of friends forever

To dance and do all the great things together 

 

At least ‘til you find the man that for you

Makes you feel just the way that for you I do.

 

Love, always.

 

Your friend forever,

 

Gary