The Belleville Waterfront Festival
FOR ANYONE WHO CARES -
As you may know, this year’s festival has been cancelled. This is really going to hurt Belleville’s reputation and cost the city thousands of dollars in lost tourist revenue. There is no excuse for the incompetence that has led to this unfortunate cancellation of a 46-year tradition.
After the failed festival in 2023, with attendance down drastically to around ten thousand from the previous year’s thirty thousand I wanted to suggest how to revise all aspects of the festival. I spent months contacting everyone involved, from vendors to local bands, to the agents for the previous headliners that Susan Walsh had organized for the previous five years.
When I was finished I printed and bound the proposal and submitted it to the Chamber of Commerce with a digital copy to the Mayor, and offered to appear before council to discuss the proposal. Instead I got no response from the Mayor and a “cease and desist” email from the Chamber, claiming that I was falsely representing myself as authorized by the Chamber or the City. This was patently untrue because every single contact I made had a disclosure right up front that I was just a concerned citizen and had zero authority to negotiate anything.
If anyone had paid attention to me maybe this year’s festival could have been restored to its previous success, and actually drew larger crowds and made the City money.
If, like me, you attended the festival for many years, I urge you to contact the Mayor’s office and the Chamber of Commerce, and ask why this year’s festival was cancelled and what they are doing to restore the festival in 2026.
As was the case with offering to appear before Council to discuss my proposals, I am happy to talk to anyone who has questions or other suggestions. After all my work I don’t give up easily so I will not accept that the festival is dead.
Thank you.
Executive Summary
With no disrespect and no prejudice to anyone involved in the festival for 2023 it is abundantly clear that this year’s festival was a disaster. Attendance figures are arguable with no clear way to judge how many people attended; however, there is no question is was far below the previous year’s estimated thirty thousand visitors. An official of the Chamber of Commerce estimated the attendance at ten thousand. The author of this proposal suggests attendance might have been closer to five thousand the first weekend, so attendance at the Midway the following weekend must be added.
In particular the park was virtually empty all day Friday. There were none of the usual lineups at any of the food vendors. Attendance at the Lions Pavilion for the entertainment was beyond pathetic, as illustrated by this photo of just two people in lawn chairs for Borelson, one of the headliners, and no doubt one of the most expensive. The entertainment committee’s goal of making this year’s festival “more multicultural” was certainly achieved; however, the result was that nobody came.
In previous years Susan Walsh handled the entertainment and she said she started booking the acts the day after the previous year’s festival ended. This is the only way to get top billed acts. Last year she did a particularly amazing job with incredible acts like ABBA Revisited, Tapestry, Transit Chicago, Steve Michaels, The Beach Boys tribute band, and many others, and the pavilion was packed. If you didn’t get there hours in advance to place your lawn chairs you were out of luck and ended up on the hills around the pavilion, although these were also packed.
This year as late as mid-May the website for the festival had nothing showing for both music and food. Even after the website was finally updated no one recognized any of the acts that were booked other than the local bands, Trilogy and Bad to the Bone. This meant that there was little if any advance promotion of the festival. Both the author of this proposal and others involved in the festival were begging for any information that they could promote themselves, but nothing was made available.
The drastically low level of attendance also resulted in losses for both the food vendors and those with booths in the Marketplace, many of which are at risk of not returning to next year’s festival if many things are not done better including to properly promote the festival well in advance.
This proposal attempts to make suggestions for everything about the festival, from parking to transit to, quite obviously, the entertainment.
Concept
After surveying the community for interest, ideas and recommendations, organizers need to outline what the festival objectives are going to be and how to achieve them. These goals and objectives may include: · strengthening community identity and spirit · providing a venue for local artists and artisans to showcase and sell their products · celebrating the heritage of the community · improving the local economy · acquainting the local and outside community to the unique opportunities within your community · achieving attendance targets · raising funds for a local charitable organization · creating a tourist destination.
Part of the evaluation process of the festival is to review the goals and decide if the outcome of this year’s festival was what was expected and if this reflects the vision and mission statements. Changes to the vision and mission statements should occur as the festival or event evolves. Given the obvious failure of making the festival “more multicultural” this year the suggestion is to drop any reference to this and make the theme of next year a true celebration of Belleville.
Developing and Maximizing the Theme
When it comes to creating a festival, one of the most essential elements is the theme, as this is what will both attract attendees and help to create an experience that is unique to the festival. The intent is to consistently communicate the theme in all aspects of the festival. It should be incorporated into: the name; programming and activities; music and entertainment; sponsorship; food and beverage offerings; décor; apparel; and in the design of marketing and promotional material. Maximizing the theme should be a fun and creative process. Think outside the box. What activities and programs can be added to the festival that are fun and dynamic and appeal to a wider audience or specific audience that we are trying to attract?
One suggestion that has been discussed with the prospective Midway provider is to add games such as throwing the rings on bottles, knocking over pins, a basketball hoop, horse races, darts breaking balloons, plus many free activities for the kids, like the Bungee Run and Skeet Roll. This provider rents numerous activities, far more than any other provider.
The marketing logo could simply be changed to –
If the concept is to be renewed these are some other ideas:
There are many other things that could enhance the theme of the festival to support the city, such as selling the “I Love Belleville” buttons at the weekly market and other city events, creating a mascot such as those created for the Olympics and selling stuffed animals of the mascot online and at city events and, of course, the festival itself.
Something like this maybe –
The Organizing Committee
As was communicated to me by a member of the Chamber of Commerce the committee consisting of forty-five members was unworkable, especially when it came to making the festival “more multicultural”, and not booking the entertainers well in advance as has been done in previous years. Regardless of who is responsible for the entertainment it needs to be someone with sole authority to hire the entertainers and get this done now.
Functional Components of Festival Planning
With no disrespect to previous organizers there are eight key areas which need to be managed throughout the festival process:
- Overall Management of the Festival
The committee Chair will be responsible for keeping the committee sub-chairs accountable, on target and on schedule. It is this position’s responsibility to ensure that the Board and/or Committee clearly understands the vision and mission and are working towards a common goal.
Obviously this Festival Director position is one I would gladly volunteer for with a token one dollar salary to make it official, and reimbursement of any legitimate expenses.
- Financial Management
The task of looking after the finances of the festival is the Treasurer’s responsibility. Under financial management may include handling the insurance, payroll, invoices and payment for contractor(s), supplier(s) and performer(s), gate and box office revenue collection, as well as invoicing and collection of vendor fees.
- Fundraising
For festivals like ours that have been operating for several years, fundraising throughout the year may be a lucrative means to supplement revenue. There are different forms of fundraising including researching and applying for grants, obtaining corporate sponsorship or undertaking specific fundraising activities such as the sale of specialty goods, raffles and auctions. Funding organizations or private businesses will want to know what plans are in place to develop and maintain financial sustainability. Private foundations and government granting agencies as well as private donors often have a limit on how long they will support a festival. Organizers should strive to create a self-sustaining model.
- Sponsorship
At this point this proposal does not deal with any of the existing sponsors and only suggests there are many others who could be approached. For example, in my discussions with the Ramada about offering discounted room rates I also raised the issue of them becoming a corporate sponsor, saying they would get a lot of exposure in the festival marketing and at the festival.
Sponsorship has always been critical to the festival. Depending on the size and scale of sponsorship, there might be separate fundraising and sponsorship committees. The Board and/or Organizing Committee can aid in developing prospects by suggesting potential sponsors from the community and providing guidance regarding the components of the festival to be sponsored. The person in charge of this area will develop a list of potential sponsors; letter of solicitation; levels of sponsorship including benefits and recognition; provide sponsors with activation ideas and support their efforts; ensure that they are appropriately thanked; and communicate with the sponsor throughout the planning cycle.
- Media and Promotion
The Board and/or Organizing Committee can offer direction on how to promote the festival and whether an advertising campaign is required to support the efforts. This important task requires a committee member who is skilled and experienced in producing promotional materials and coordinating print ads, the festival website and, most importantly, social media. Again, as a website designer for many years this report’s author can assist with this task.
- Entertainment and Programming
This function may be divided into two areas of responsibility. A programming function and a vendor function. For the programming function, the Board and/or Organizing Committee should give some direction on what elements will make up the festival planning, initiating and implementing the programming elements such as live performances, activities, guest speakers or emcees, contracts and décor fall under the programming function. Decisions are based on availability, budget and fit. Our festival includes a vendor component, food and/or exhibitor booths, etc., so this function involves recruiting vendors, establishing guidelines and regulations and assisting with load in/load out schedules of these vendors.
- Production and Event Operations
The job of overseeing the physical site has a number of different components that may require specialized skills including technical knowledge of sound/ audio/visual equipment, venue regulations, by-law considerations, security and the ability to produce a contingency plan in case external factors prevent the festival from continuing on the site, such as weather and power outages. Other than the lighting issues at the pavilion sound management has always been excellent.
- Volunteers
Volunteers are an important resource for any festival. Boards and/or Organizing Committees are often comprised of volunteers who have an interest in the festival. Our festival would never have survived without the consider efforts of the many volunteers. The only requirement for next year is that all volunteers be given a unique coloured wristband and an “I Love Belleville” button. Consideration might also be given to providing a unique volunteer T-Shirt.
Developing an Operating Budget
Budgeting is a critical part of the festival planning process. An effective budget enables the organizer to make appropriate decisions and adjustments, if necessary. It is important to closely monitor and manage the finances of the festival and communicate with members of the Board and/or Organizing Committee so everyone understands what expenditures and commitments can and cannot be made. Following the festival, the approved budget needs to be compared with the actual expenses incurred.
Although I am aware that $70,000 was for city expenses this year, clearly I am not party to any other budget numbers. There were several discussions about the entertainment budget and things like not having a beer garden, but a fundamental change for next year is to have ticketing, mostly to provide a much better entertainment lineup.
Ticketing
City Council mandated that the festival be free; however, this has meant far too limited a budget for the event, particularly for entertainment. Although thirty thousand dollars does not go far to attract top name entertainers who often travel long distances to get here, Susan Walsh managed to book headliners for every day of the 2022 festival.
As is often said “you get what you pay for” so a free event does not usually promise very much. When you look at the prices for many of our local jamborees, like The 2023 County Country Jamboree in Stirling Ontario, at $30 a day; $60 a day for the Hollyrood Country Jamboree: $25 for the Norwood Country Jamboree, and $35 for a day pass at the 50’s 60’s 70’s Rock N Roll Music Festival, charging a reasonable fee to attend the festival to cover great entertainment is the right decision.
With ticketing there are many new considerations, from parking to the setup of the entry gate to security of cash. The layout of the gate is included in the attached site map, and research with several companies to supply the necessary equipment is ongoing at this point; however these are the issues:
Ticket Booths
The suggestion would be a four window ticket booth selling both entry tickets and midway tickets.
Entrance to the festival could be done on either a fixed price basis or a donation. Suggested individual adult (over 18) daily price would be ten dollars. Daily family price would be thirty dollars. There could also be an option for a full event pass to cover all four days. Individuals would save ten dollars by paying thirty dollars for an all-day pass.
In addition to the entry fee there would also be an option to add a donation to the festival. Any donation of five dollars or more would give the person this button to show their support –
These ticket options are for the Midway.
There have been very successful negotiations with a company, Astro Amusements in Toronto, for everything from Midway rides to games and much more; however, there our ongoing talks about ticketing. Normally they have their own ticket booths, but we have discussed selling their tickets at the front gate to avoid lineups and double ticketing.
This year’s very small Midway was met with numerous negative comments, from the high prices to small rides to lineups. No one appeared to enjoy the separate Midway weekend. There was also confusion with Belleville Transit about whether there would be shuttle buses as there were for the first festival weekend, so that didn’t help. Although I asked, Belleville Transit didn’t even know there was second weekend, and I was then told this was under consideration, but no one responded. They did, in fact, run the shuttle Saturday and Sunday, but I spoke to a driver on the Sunday and he said it was dead because no one knew it was running. Poor communication between the festival and Belleville Transit.
For a family with three or four kids an individual all access pass costing thirty dollars is far too much to afford, although the same pass at this year’s CNE is forty-three dollars; however, the CNE has a lot more to offer. They have a five dollar ticket that only provides four coupons which most rides require so only getting one ride is a very poor choice. An all access pass at the PNE is fifty dollars this year!
The company I have been talking to is very interested in becoming the Midway provider of choice for many years to come so they appear to be very negotiable. Discussions have been selling tickets for the Midway at the festival front gate, the only issue being tracking payments for them, cash management and cash security, obviously. The negotiating has been for an adult pass and a kid’s pass. Depending on the type of rides provided selling separate one ride tickets would not work well. The goal is to have everyone enjoy all the rides and attractions with a single all access pass. The ticketing option provides unique coloured wristbands to wear on the other wrist to show what was purchased so this speeds up entry to the rides and avoids any long lineups.
There are three additional aspects of ticketing, one being payments, one being festival entry and the other being for the Midway.
Everyone today uses their smart phone to pay for anything and everything, from meals to boarding the buses here. The festival website, which for next year must be done much better and much earlier, would offer prepayment by debit or credit card, with confirmation sent to the user’s smart phone and email, which they would then show at the gate, the way that Cineplex does when you attend the show. This would significantly speed up entry to the festival and would only require the electronic readers.
For the festival entry once payment has been confirmed the visitors would be given fixed coloured wristbands with the colour showing what they purchased. Different colours for a daily pass, all-day pass, all event pass and so on. Although congestion at the gate must be avoided at all costs it would be nice to also have a colour for those who have made a donation to the festival, probably gold coloured and they also get the “I Love Belleville” button to show their support.
For the Midway, and assuming the Midway company agrees to selling all access passes at the front gate, there would be slightly different wristbands, again in a colour according to what was purchased, and worn on the other wrist, which will speed up getting on the rides.
Although highly unlikely to happen, how do staff handle someone who does not have a wristband? First all artists, their stage crews and anyone associated with the festival, including volunteers, they would be given a unique coloured wristband. Should staff see someone not wearing a wristband they would approach the individual as a guest and question why they do not have any wristband, and not in any confrontational manner. Worst case scenario they would contact the auxiliary police to have the individual escorted off the premises. The only foreseeable challenge would be those getting to the festival area off a boat somewhere, but they would then be asked to go to the front gate and get their passes. Also any entrance to the festival area from the other end of the park would be fenced off. As well during the festival access to the paved pathways in the festival grounds would be prohibited; however, there are lots of public pathways in other areas of the park.
In addition to the ticket booth there is the issue of entry to the festival and how to track the numbers. There have been successful negotiations with a company that rents turnstiles. The cost is $250 dollars a day, plus $575 to cover shipping. Unfortunately they do not offer a rent to buy option because these would be required at every future festival once ticketing has proven to be successful. The only issue with this company is where and when to ship the turnstiles.
The turnstiles would clearly keep track of the number of guests and provide firm numbers to vendors and entertainers and help to market future festivals. If turnstiles are not used then staff would be at the gate to use a simple clicker to count people entering, which would not be as exact.
Programming and Entertainment
Programming and entertainment can range from attractions, activities, interactive games, live bands, DJs, magicians, strolling performers, etc. Selecting the appropriate type of programming and entertainment depends on the target audience and the type of atmosphere the organizers wants to create. Before securing entertainers, it is critical to determine the following: • Who are the festival participants? • How many attendees does the festival want to attract? • What is the purpose of the programming and entertainment? • How does the programming and entertainment integrate with the theme? • Is it appropriate for and will it appeal to the target audience? • Does it need to be static, mobile and/or interactive? • What equipment may be required? • What is the budget? For what duration? • Will an entrance fee be charged to help offset entertainment and programming costs? • Are any of the sponsors affiliated with any entertainment or community groups? • Are there any entertainment rider requirements? • Do the entertainers have references/reviews they can share? • Will the program be accessible to people with disabilities? • Are the programming and entertainment elements inclusive? Local newspapers, pubs, clubs and theatre groups are potential sources to help locate live entertainment. A key variable in ensuring a successful festival is ensuring attendees are entertained, something clearly missing from this year’s festival. Programming that is engaging is the most desirable.
To address these concerns, first, the theme of the festival is a celebration of Belleville, so the suggested entertainment lineup is comprised of many local bands, both to celebrate and promote them and to attract their many fans. If you compare the two people in lawn chairs to watch Borelson this year, with the packed pavilion and the hills outside the pavilion with the opening night of Concerts on the Bay with The Reasons, booking popular local bands is the obvious choice.
Although the demographic for the festival has usually been an older crowd, they still love to dance, as was the case for The Reasons. It was the same for the incredible bands that were booked last year. If you didn’t place your lawn chairs hours before each band you were out of luck and ended up outside the pavilion.
The only issue with previous shows was the break between bands. Although sound checks are required, depending on the types of instruments and vocals for a band, some bands do their sound checks only minutes before they go on, but others will do theirs half an hour before they go on. This leaves a lot of dead air between bands and people usually leave to wander the festival or get something to eat.
There could be a DJ between bands who takes a break for sound checks. I have contacted a local dance instructor who has offered to give free dance lessons twice a day, each day. There could also be contests and games between sets. There could be kid’s dance company performances which would attract their parents. There could be buskers such a magicians and jugglers who don’t need music.
The most critical factor as far as entertainment is concerned is budget. Despite having no ticket revenue last year every day had top name entertainers like ABBA Revisited, Steve Michaels, Transit Chicago, Tapestry and others, so if there is ticketing, just like every other music festival in our area, these types of acts can be booked, but, again, now! The only limitation is the size of the venue so the festival cannot deal with entertainers who usually fill auditoriums or stadiums. The Mavericks recently played to a full house at the Empire Theatre. I do recall seeing them several years ago at the Western Fair in London, Ontario where their stage was set up in a small corner of the fairgrounds, but the minute they started playing the crowd was shoulder to shoulder.
This year Burton Cummings is appearing at the Western Fair and tickets are $74! Just for one entertainer, not multiple entertainers like our festival. General admission to the fair is ten dollars, as suggested in this proposal.
The Beer Garden
In previous years the beer garden at the festival was a hugely popular event and many visitors this year asked where it went. In discussions with a festival organizer it was because it is not a guaranteed profitable event as most people figure. Insurance is an incredible two thousand dollars a day. Breweries only pay five dollars a case despite the high cost of beer. There are associated costs like fencing, equipment and policing.
Beer gardens in Canada have undergone many changes over the years. Many are now featuring local craft beers but aren’t as popular as selling branded, well know beers. Provinces like BC no longer require fencing off a beer garden and allow both beer and spirits to be consumed anywhere on the grounds.
To see this return to the festival next year first attempts are being made to get a major brand to sponsor the beer garden. Failing this the local craft beer companies will be approached. It is felt that both of these will not face the huge insurance costs for this year’s organizers. It is still recommended that there be a fenced off area for the beer garden, in the same place as it was before so people can still enjoy the entertainment from the beer garden. Assuming that it is successful possibly in future years it could not be fenced but with consumption limited to the festival grounds and no outside alcohol allowed. This does allow guests to enjoy their drinks with food and with family.
Picnic Tables
At every year’s festival a lack of picnic tables, particularly any under shade, has been a problem. There always appears to be a lot of space in both the food truck area and the World Food Fair, so it just needs better organization. Possibly some tables in front of each food tent, although without shade, and then more food court areas under a canopy in the central Food Fair area.
The food trucks in the paved area are only on one side, leaving enormous space simply for foot traffic. Although there are trees on the other side and power supply considerations, it would be much better to have the trucks on each side, possibly with picnic tables down the center. If you look at any fair, like the CNE and the Pacific National Exhibition, even Disneyland, there are few open areas and people expect to be in crowds.
Parking
Parking has been a bottleneck primarily because volunteers need to collect the five dollar fee on entry. The traffic congestion also affects the shuttle bus, although this will be dealt with under Transit. There have also been a number of complaints voiced on social media because parking for the Trenton Festival is free.
A much larger issue with the parking is the statement on the festival website that “YOUR DONATION SUPPORTS LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS” giving the impression that the parking fees are donated to charity. An official was questioned as to what organizations benefitted and the response was shocking. Only fifty percent goes to the cadets, with the other half going to the festival! This strikes at the very credibility of the organizers.
Firstly, the same payment options for ticketing apply to parking. Parking is separated into two areas, a general free parking area to the left as you enter off the highway, and a paid reserved parking area immediately to the right as you come off the highway. The fee remains five dollars but it is all donated to charity. Again the prepayment option needs to be promoted so drivers simply show their phone and no one needs to deal with cash or change delaying entry.
Transit
In previous years the shuttle ran from the terminal starting at 10:30 AM so that riders could get to the festival in time for the entertainment that started at 11:00 AM. For some unknown reason this year the shuttle did not start until 11:00 AM making it impossible for anyone to walk the entire park to get to the pavilion in time for the eleven o’clock start. Shuttle buses, two of them alternating, should start at 10:30 AM.
Although right now there is little that can be done to avoid the shuttle getting caught in the traffic congestion entering the park, the exit lanes are closed during the festival so maybe an entry lane could be designated for the shuttle buses.
Two buses should be running constantly alternating for 10:30 AM until 2:00 PM and 8:00 PM until 11:00 PM, with a single shuttle running from 2:00 PM until 8:00 PM.
Weather
2023 is going to go down in history as the hottest year on record, and predictions for 2024 are that it will be even hotter. I have contacted a company that rents misting tents and suggest that two of these be placed in strategic locations. The same water dispensing machine should be on site, although I was told that at one point it was dispensing warm water.
Washrooms
For some unknown reason the washrooms were not open the first days of the festival so visitors used the portable outhouses, which became very hot later in the day. The capacity of the washrooms is not sufficient to serve large crowds but they should still be open during the entire festival.
Lions Pavilion
Normally for the Concerts on the Bay, and depending on who is appearing, people arrive early to setup their lawn chairs. Usually people allow enough space for a dance floor and allow an aisle down the middle of the chairs for people who want to go to the dance floor.
For some unknown reason at this year’s festival people started setting their lawn chairs far back on the floor, with at least seventy-five percent of the floor vacant. Possibly someone heard a loud sound check from an entertainer and started setting up far away. Although not a major issue the suggestion is to rope off both a dance floor area and a center aisle to make things easier.
Another issue with the pavilion is the stage lighting. There are only lights behind the performers that shine in the eyes of visitors and make no sense. As with any other venue there should be lights in front of the entertainers shining down on the stage, including spotlights if possible.
Accommodation
The closest hotel is the Ramada by Wyndham Belleville Harbourview Conference Centre. Contact has been made with their corporate office both to get discounted room rates and possible sponsorship. Rooms would be for entertainers, their crews, Midway staff and out of town visitors. The suggestion has also been made to have a free shuttle between the hotel and the artist gate. A limitation of this hotel is that they do not have a restaurant, although they do have a free breakfast. Food is provided for entertainers and there is lots of food available at the festival so this might not be an issue.
Entertainment
Nothing is more critical to a successful festival next year than the entertainment.
As has been said elsewhere in this proposal, in previous years Susan Walsh did an amazing job getting top name artists, primarily because she booked them as much as a year in advance. In meeting with her before she said she started working on next year’s entertainment the day after the previous festival ended. This year this was not done with many artists saying they were not booked until late May, far too late to get any real headliners. The result was the truly pathetic attendance at this year’s event.
For this proposal I had submitted this potential lineup to the Chamber of Commerce, plus I had emailed every one of the artists asking if they were interested in appearing at next year’s event. Without exception all of them replied that they were very interested.
Jill Raycroft then told me to have the artists email Tiffany Young with the subject “Waterfront 2024”, which they all did; however, the reply they got was that their “information would be kept on file”. This suggests that no change will be made to go back to the advance booking that was so successful before. Headliners like those in 2022, and even local bands must be booked now to both see if they are available on the festival dates and, if so, to reserve the dates now. There needs to be fee negotiations and commitments made, even if conditional on budget, and details such as sound and lighting requirements, any special needs, crew numbers and accommodation needs all determined now.
If at all possible, although Susan Walsh retired several months ago, it is suggested that she be hired as a consultant on a short term basis because she has all the contacts and relationships with the artists and has unequaled credibility with them.
As Jill Raycroft told me, budget is critical, so clearly without the proposed ticketing the budget will be far too limited. When you look at the costs of various music festivals in our area even the daily cost far exceeds the proposed entry fee structure. On a personal level last year I was thrilled with ABBA Revisited and I was fortunate to speak to one of the girls in the band. I then learned that they were appearing later in our area and the tickets were eighty dollars! Paying a minimal entry fee to see numerous top name groups is clearly a bargain.
Emergency and Risk Protocols
Ideally there should be a public address system throughout the festival grounds to make announcements such as weather warnings, lost children, changes to schedules, and medical emergencies. This same system could also be used for promotions such as upcoming events, contest winners, and limited advertising.
It is crucial that first-aid trained staff/volunteers are on-site during the festival. Organizations such as St. John Ambulance can also provide Medical First Responder (MFR) volunteers that provide basic and advanced first aid when emergencies occur.
It is wise to notify EMS, Fire and Police because our large festival that will attract a considerable number of attendees. With the potential for multiple incidents to be taking place at any given time, advance notification to these groups can assist with proper planning on their part. With the recent violence on the streets and transit systems in other cities we cannot rule out having similar issues at our festival. Although the likelihood of a gunshot at the festival is minimal, protocols need to be in place just in case to avoid total panic at the festival. Anything is possible, from a helicopter crash to someone drowning to a ride failure at the Midway, so everything must be considered and planned for.
Inclement Weather Protocol
Although Belleville has been very fortunate at avoiding the extremes of weather like major rainfall, flooding and fires, in other regions, Belleville is not immune. All outdoor festivals are exposed to the threat of inclement weather at any given moment. As an organizer, it is important to monitor the weather leading up to the festival and on the festival day to ensure the safety of our guests. Several inclement weather scenarios may arise and organizers need to determine a course of action for each. These include but are not limited to:
- Heavy rainfall/flooding
- Thunder and lightning
- High winds
- Extreme winds/tornado
Lost Child Protocol
At any large community festival there is the potential for children to become separated from their parents/guardians. There are two main scenarios that may occur on festival event day to signify that a child has gone missing:
- Being approached by the parents of a missing child
- Being approached by a missing child
In order to resolve both of these situations in a positive manner, it is important to have a protocol in place that outlines responsibilities and the key individuals who will take charge. A lost child location poster could be posted at the gate and regular interval messages delivered over the PA system. Volunteer staff also need to be trained on how to handle a lost child and where to take them.
Marketing and Promotions
Once the hard work has gone into the planning of an amazing festival, the focus needs to be on attracting the audience to enjoy it!
Marketing Plan
The event’s purpose, target audience, best ways to reach that audience and available resources will all determine the best way to promote the festival.
We need to think about the audience. What groups of people are likely to have an interest in the festival? Who would benefit by attending?
Brainstorm communication vehicles. What is the best way to communicate information about the festival to the target audience? How do members of this group receive information? Can they be reached by email or social media including Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, and Twitter (now X)? In what location (physical or virtual) would many members of this audience be likely to see advertising materials?
Taking the budget into consideration. What advertising vehicles offer effective, cost efficient ways to communicate with the target audience? The best methods are those that allow direct communication with our intended audience.
Considering the timeline. Developing advertising pieces, news releases and other materials takes time. It’s important to plan well in advance, unlike this year when even the website had little information until mere weeks before the start of the festival. Advertising materials should be delivered a minimum of two to three months ahead of the festival.
The development of an effective marketing plan is essential for the delivery of a successful festival. The key is to match the festival concept (the theme, programming, etc.) with the appropriate audience (those who will attend or participate in the festival. In order to do that, our organizers must have a strong idea of what the event actually offers and to whom, an effective plan of action, and the necessary resources to implement it.
Some things to consider when creating a Marketing Plan:
- Analyzing similar festivals or event marketing strategies, including demographics, attendance figures, and apparent strategies.
- Budget and other constraints.
- The festival timeline. Some things like catering deadlines will not affect the timeline. However, other things, such as the cut-off date for selling tickets and the deadline for securing entertainers, speakers, will greatly affect the marketing timeline, and may even drive it.
- Specific marketing tactics that will be implemented to help achieve the festival event goals. These may include social media contests, media releases, etc.
- Conducting a SWOT analysis to identify the strengths and threats to the festival (such as weather, competing events that weekend, etc.).
SUMMARY
To put on a festival like our Waterfront Festival is a mammoth task, requiring a ton of work on every detail, plus the efforts of countless volunteers. The only thing that can’t be controlled is the weather so we take our chances on that as does every other outdoor event. I recall being at the old Merritt Mountain Music Festival several years ago and it rained buckets every day turning the entire park into a mud bowl, but still thousands of fans had a blast. They happily sat in their raingear watching incredible entertainers like Vince Gill, the late Johnny Cash, and many others. The beer garden was still packed as usual, and hundreds still sat in the river in the rain. We survived.
In 2005 the Merritt Mountain Music Festival attracted an amazing 148,000 fans, its most successful year ever, but the management made some unfortunate decisions and attendance fell drastically, just like our festival this year. What followed was some troubling years when the festival lost money and was forced to sell and became the Rockin’ River Fest, but it was cancelled for this year. Mistakes can be very costly so we need to avoid this and make sure the same mistakes that were made this year are not repeated.
Other than having no control over the weather we can however look at every single detail of the festival and be open to every suggestion to make it the best festival ever. The longer term benefits to Belleville will be enormous if, and only if, the festival is a huge success.
Nothing can be set in stone from previous years. Even the smallest of details must be objectively reviewed. The very huge risk that based on their dismal experience this year many of the vendors and food providers may not want to return cannot be ignored. Whatever improvements are made for next year’s festival must be promoted in every way to convince both artists, vendors and the public to give Belleville another chance and come back again. If everything is done right the optimistic attendance goal of fifty thousand is achievable.
Even without factoring discounted family passes this would mean total revenue of close to four hundred thousand dollars for the festival, great profits for all the marketplace and food vendors, good revenue for the Midway, and leave the festival well into the black for future years.
If those involved in organizing the festival and City Council choose to ignore the mistakes made this year and ignore any suggestions to improve the festival then 2024 could be the last one. Let’s all not let that happen.
Thank you.
Director
A Tribute to My Daughter
As I approach my seventy-fifth birthday, one I never thought I would ever make, and my health has deteriorated, I thought I had best write something just in case my daughter ever saw it after I'm gone.
After a whole lot of grief with my previous Executor, Rob McCann, and numerous promises from Bob Cottrell, a longtime friend, my buddy, Keith Sage finally agreed to be my Executor. We signed a new will, met with my new landlady to introduce him and went through all the complicated things with all my websites. I've asked him to keep this personal site going for a year just in case my kids and grandkids ever want to know about me. It's been thirty years now since my daughter connected with me so I doubt it will be her, but maybe my seven grandkids might want to know.
My beautiful baby daughter, Heather, came into this world October 7th, 1977. Dr. Thicke, yes, Todd and Alan's father, delayed his flying somewhere north to deliver her, so throughout the procedure he was singing "Off we go into the wild blue yonder" He also asked me if I wanted him to put in a few extra stiches. He had no idea how useless that would be. His sons got his sense of humor for sure. Unlike with my son born back in 1970 when I was not allowed in the delivery room I was there with Heather. Right after she came out and got cleaned up we noticed something wrong with her upper lip. In typical Dr. Thicke fashion he said it was nothing that a little makeup wouldn't cover. It wasn't. It was also shortly after she popped out that I made a fatal mistake. Holding her in my arms, rocking her walking up and down the hall. More later.
The first horrible reaction was from my father-in-law when he came to see her. It was a cleft lip and where he came from having a cleft lip was a lifelong curse because it could not be corrected back then. Shortly after Dr. Thicke said he didn't want to spoil the magic of the moment of her birth, but, yes, she had a cleft lip. We were shocked to learn that this could have been simply because her mother had been taking aspirin! Who knew? He said he would refer us to a surgeon at Sick Kids to talk about it.
Our first visit with the doctor at Sick Kids, and I wish I could remember his name, was to discuss what and when he would do. He said that most parents want the surgery as soon as possible to avoid the embarrassment of explaining it to friends and family. I asked when he wanted to do the surgery and he said six months is ideal. I agreed.
The day came for her surgery so off we went to Sick Kids again. I still remember her smiling as she went down in the elevator. Broke my heart. After her surgery they put her in the heart ward to recover. It was so hard to see all the young kids with tubes and wires coming out of them and it made me realize how simple Heather's surgery really was. Later they moved her to the burn ward, which was even harder to deal with. I still remember little Jason who had been in a gas fire and sustained first degree burns to ninety percent of his body. He looked like an alien, but that didn't stop him running around the ward like any normal kid, happy as a lark, chatting with everybody. I often wondered how he made out later in life when he no doubt had to have all kinds of skin graft surgeries.
My wonderful in-laws, Ray and Marion, looked after Heather as they had done earlier for Chris before he went off to the Kennedy Road Tabernacle daycare. Back then my ex and I both worked.
A few days after her surgery my father-in-law called me at work and said to come right away! He wouldn't say anything about why but I could hear the panic in his voice so I drove to Brampton like a maniac. As I reached their door Ray opened the door with Heather in his arms and she broke out in a huge smile, as usual. The problem was that her face also split wide open! Dad said she had fallen down the short stairs off the kitchen and split all her stitches. He was full of guilt but I told him this was not his fault. Could have happened anywhere. Off I rushed her to Sick kids again to get her fixed up again.
I said her name before. Heather. A quick side note is that my ex wasn't crazy about that name because I had a former girlfriend named Heather. I assured her it had nothing to do with that. I just liked the name. Her full name was actually Heather Tyrrell Jones because the tradition in the family was that the daughters had the mother's maiden name as their second name. My ex was Janice Kennedy Tyrrell after her mother so Heather became Heather Tyrrell Jones.
Although Heather was a great baby at the start, she soon developed that curse, colic. She had it bad! She cried and cried, on and on for days, and nights. The only thing that would sooth her was for Daddy to cradle her in my arms, rock her and walk up and down the hall. The price of my mistake at birth.
Once she finally got over the colic she again became a darling baby girl. She laughed and laughed. She slept through the night. She ate anything and everything. Once she started crawling she was a terror and when she walked was even worse. Always going ninety miles an hour getting into everything.
The following year we went out west on vacation and to Introduce Heather to my family there. My Dad had booked a camper van for our trip up to Jasper, across the Yellowhead highway and back down through Kamloops. It was the best trip ever, especially because Heather sat in her car seat either smiling, laughing, or sleeping the whole way. My dear Mum and Dad said they had never seen such a wonderful baby, certainly not me.
The next milestone in our lives was the dreaded Cabbage Patch kids era. That first year I ran around everywhere trying to find one to adopt for Christmas. I forget who that first one was but it was the first of many. Heather was beyond delighted with her Cabbage Patch kids and proudly showed them off anywhere we went. By this time Chris was playing hockey everywhere, for multiple rep teams and all year long, so the minute we walked into arenas Heather and her Cabbage Patch kids were gone. Back in those days we never worried about her wandering around because everybody knew her and we had no worries. Never happen today.
She breezed through daycare at the same place as Chris, with the staff commenting how much she was a delight. She then went to the same public school as her Mom had. When it came to high school she had shown a penchant for drama so she applied to the prestigious Mayfield Secondary School, a difficult school to be accepted by, but she got in. We were so proud of her. It was during this time that two things happened, one very good and one, not so good.
I'm not sure it was for our birthdays but I managed to get two incredibly expensive tickets to Phantom of the Opera at the Elgin Theatre in Toronto. I believe they were something like eighty-five dollars each. We were seated in the balcony. The lights went down. The music started then right in front of us the lights flashed on and there was something right smack in front us that jumped us out of our seats. I believe it was a giant chandelier. The entire show was mesmerizing and we enjoyed every minute of it. When we came out of the theatre Heather wanted to go to Sam the Record Man just up the street to get the Phantom CD. For days after with her girlfriends she blasted the CD in her room.
The not so good thing was when she asked if she could go to her girlfriend's house for New Year's Eve. I knew a little bit about her friend, not a lot of good, but I trusted Heather. Later I got a panic call from her friend's mother that Heather was very drunk and being sick. I rushed her to the hospital where they said she had alcohol poisoning and I believe they had pumped her stomach. On the trip home I was totally silent and finally Heather asked if I wasn't going to say anything or yell at her. I asked if I needed to say anything and she said no. Lesson learned.
As far as father and daughter goes our relationship could not have been better. I was always so proud of her in everything she did. She had no interest in hockey like her brother but she was a good soccer player and I went to all her games. Her mother and I never did anything together except go to Chris' hockey and soccer games, but Heather and I were always doing something. The city built a great skating oval at Gage Park and Heather and I went there skating a lot, especially on New Years. We also did a lot of biking on the paved trails all around Brampton, often ending up at Professor's Lake. We even went sailing one time in a little skiff that scared the heck out of both of us but was still fun. We often danced with each other, often when her friends were around, so it surprised me that she was okay dancing with her Dad. In all the years we were together the only time we had a problem was when we were in the van and she called her mother a bitch and I slapped her.
Things happened in my life with a business, GlassVision, that I was a partner in with Jim Webb. A custom solarium company. A client who I had no faith in refused to pay until his hundred dollar solarium was installed. I told the crew to come back unless we got paid, but Jim told them to go ahead and install the solarium. When they finished the client told them to get the hell off his property and didn't pay. I had made commitments to pay our glass supplier so we were now cutoff and the business failed. I returned all the deposit cheques we had with the signed contracts so nobody would sue us and I left.
After the very long hours I had spent, both traveling from Brampton to Markham every day, plus changing everything on how we did business, from getting deposits upfront to changing the installation crews from hourly to a percentage of the contract, something that worked so well, I had no question that we were done. I knew the phones would be ringing off the hook from upset clients to very upset suppliers, not to mention our bank. I had to get away. Jim stayed and begged me to stay but I knew it was beyond hopeless.
I packed some clothes in the car and left with no idea where I was going. When I finally got to Dryden, I think, I bought a map and realized that I was almost half way to BC! This was in May and the days were unusually warm. I could visit my parents and shock the heck out of them, so off I went. I sure did shock them when I pulled in.
After unwinding from all the stress and having a wonderful time with my family after so many years apart I really missed the kids so I made arrangements for them to fly out and spend three weeks. It was the best time ever with the kids and my family, especially with Heather.
.Dad and I had been doing a lot of dirt biking, and, of course, Chris wanted to bike so Dad rented him a dirt bike. Heather was too young to ride her own so Dad managed to attach vice grips to the back wheel sprockets so she could site behind me and put her feet on the vice grips. Off we went to the Kettle Valley Railroad, one of our favorite spots. We had a great ride down to the Kettle Valley Inn where Dad and I always stopped.
On the way back; however, I made a big mistake. I thought I was taking the shortcut down but instead I ended up on the very steep powerline. I didn't want to scare Heather so, although I knew the trip down would be frightening I stayed calm. At each steep incline I told her to get off and walk down, which wasn't easy either and I nursed the bike down, slipping and sliding all the way. There were a couple of spots she could still get on and ride, but very few. Not one second was she afraid and we managed to get down to the road unharmed. I was beyond amazed at her courage. When the rest of them finally caught up with us they couldn't believe that we had just come down the powerline.
As the day finally came when they were to go back home we hadn't talked about what I was going to do. Heather and I went somewhere early in the day and then stopped out by the lake. I knew I was on the verge of falling apart and somehow Heather sensed that. She said the hardest thing in my life. She told me that she had never seen me happier. She knew how much I had tried but my marriage was over. She told me to stay out west and not come back to Brampton. She said she and Chris would come out for vacations every year. I knew she was right but it nearly destroyed me. After I took them to the airport I went back to the place Heather and I had talked and balled my eyes out for three hours. How could my beautiful daughter that I loved so much tell me to stay across the country from her?
Of course I didn't listen because I couldn't stand the thought of leaving my kids so I went back. I spent more years working my face off while my ex sat on her butt not even looking for a job until I couldn't take it anymore and finally left. My mother was then diagnosed with fifth stage melanoma and given less than six months to live. I knew I had to be with her in what time she had left and Heather told me to go. I had sold our last house and Heather and her mother had moved into an apartment. I still remember my last drive with Heather in my van, the thought of leaving her overwhelming, but I knew I would see her again soon, at least I sure thought so, but I could never have been more wrong.
The great news was that they caught my mother's cancer in time and she ended up living another fourteen years. The tragic news is what happened with Heather.
One day when I came home my Dad said that Heather had called to ask me to come down for her convocation ceremony at Mayfield. Having driven back and forth across the country four times already doing it again, especially to see Heather, was fine, so off I went.
When I got to their apartment I asked the security guard to buzz them, but he got no answer. I asked if there was a message from Heather and he said no. It was later in the day so I thought she might still be at school so I drove there, but she wasn't at school. That started hours of me sitting in coffee shops and driving around trying to find her. Finally I got in touch with Chris who told me that my ex and her new husband had hidden Heather away and wouldn't let me see her! What? I had just driven across the country at Heather's invitation and now they wouldn't let me see her? I called my ex to go for coffee to discuss this because I still had the legal right to see Heather, but with her hubby, my former best friend, grunting in the background, my ex said she couldn't meet me for coffee. Married for twenty-three years, now divorced, and she wasn't allowed to go for coffee with me? Seriously?
I ended up staying with Chris, Tina, and their daughter, Danielle, for three weeks, just praying that I would get to see Heather, but I never did. I drove home crying all the way. I never saw Heather again. It's now been thirty years since I connected with her. Over all those years many friends and family have tried to contact her, but all have failed. She blocked me on Facebook long ago. No doubt her kids don't even know I exist. She had another child back in 2019, Joe, but never told me.
I've never stopped loving her and I miss her every single day. Father's Day and Christmas are just brutal for me. My dear friend in Mexico has gone to her Facebook page and sent me photos of her and her family, which is nice but just makes me more depressed. I never give up hope though and just pray that she will connect with me before I die. I simply want to know why she abandoned me all those years ago.
If anyone out there happens to know her, Heather Jones Seyler on Facebook as far as I know, please let her know that her Dad still loves her and would be thrilled to hear from her.
Just A Dollar
This was a site I created to fund numerous projects in Mexico, from supporting children to the environment. With so many absurd fund raising concepts like breast enlargement, many of which raised thousands of dollars, I thought people would gladly donate just a dollar, less than the cost of a cup of coffee, for worthwhile projects. I was wrong. After years of trying I gave up on the site.
Quinte Website Design
Going back some thirty years at least I was reaching the age where I was getting too old to hire. As I had done many times in my life I knew that I had to do something on my own to earn money. When I moved to BC I got serious about designing websites and built websites for various organizations like the Kelowna Eight Ball League, Breaker's, a local bar, and several of my own projects like the Okanagan Manufactured Homeowners Association and Heritage Developments.
After doing the same in Panama, then Ecuador and then Mexico I started the same thing with this website. I've built several websites for various bands and other businesses, all of which are shown on my Website Design page.
The biggest difference here is that I used to get around five hundred dollars to design a website, even in other countries, but now I am down to just $129 and I do a lot more work for it. I pay to register the domain name. I always build far more than just a basic three page website. I host the sites for free and maintain them. In more than five years I've barely scratched out a little extra money from all the work. Now AI has made the business even more difficult because people can build their site in mere minutes. Something that would take me weeks to replicate. .
Discover Travel to Mexico
This very large project started a few years ago. The idea was to provide all kinds of information for people who both lived in and, or wanted to travel to, various countries around the world. It started with TraveltheGlobe dot info, which was available to register, plus the same domain dot info for every country except Mexico. At the time domain.com had a promotion on and you could register dot info domains for only $1.99, so I registered all fifty domains.
The project ended up on the back burner for a while, although I did get a good start on TraveltoMexio.info, which was going to be the model for all the other countries. Then I got a notice from domain.com that the domains were up for renewal, and they wanted an absurd $39.99 for each renewal. Clearly an illegal "bait and switch" tactic, but they didn't care.
After searching out other domain registrars they were all crooks and wanted the same $39.99 to register, so I started searching all over again.
I was forced to change the whole concept to Discover Travel to (country) dot com First I registered DiscoverTraveloftheWorld.com, then DiscoverTraveltoMexico.com and DiscoverTraveltoPanama.com. I moved all the content from TraveltoMexico.info over to the new domain. Due to other projects more work on this site has been delayed.
BellevilleNow.ca
After being forced to return to Canada from Mexico in November, 2019 after losing my GIS pension, and having built various city portal sites in other countries like Panama, Ecuador and Mexico, I searched for a website that would promote Belleville, provide information for both residents and tourists, and keep up on the news. Although I already created a Belleville Today Facebook page, there was a BellevilleToday website for Belleville, New Jersey, so I registered BellevilleNow.ca and started building.
Having built other city portal sites in other countries, all of which got very good reviews and tons of visitors, I feel that I met all my goals on this city portal for Belleville. Not only do I have all the normal features, I also created an Entertainment Guide called Encore where I have a calendar of upcoming events and reviews with photos and video of the events that I manage to attend. I have encouraged venues to let me know what's coming up, but only Sal at the Smokin 116 Bistro does this. Everything in the guide is free.
I am constantly updating the site with local news and I would like to add other features like a Real Estate Guide. I have also encouraged local businesses to let me know about promotions, staff changes, new openings and so on, but so far the business community has been lacking on this. Recently over a very short period the site got eighteen thousand views, some from BOTS, I know, but there's still a lot of folks visiting the site.
Reflections On My 74th Birthday
Well, it's that time of year, again. Yet another year older. As is said "getting old is a privilege denied to many", so, although it's been a really tough year I guess I have to be grateful that I'm still here, especially this year. My intention, as always, was to post this on my birthday, but things got complicated with things like getting an eviction notice which scared the crap out of me. The wait time for an affordable apartment is now five to seven years so I figured I'd be homeless. I consulted a lawyer at the local legal aid clinic and he said not to worry because the Landlord and Tenant Bureau is so backed up it would be years to hear my case. I'm still not comfortable about it but I can't worry about something that might never happen. Such is life.
Last year while I was videotaping a band at the Caribbean Festival I suddenly felt like I was going to fall down. Not dizzy. Not faint. Just lost my balance. I stumbled back to the building behind me, with everyone around asking if I was okay, which I wasn't. I managed to get back down the street holding the buildings all the way until I came across the auxiliary police officers. The lovely Brittany and another officer got me down to the bus terminal and spoke to the driver and I got home okay. Since then I have been nearly falling in the shower and bumping into the walls of my apartment. Scary stuff.
I spent at least twenty hours in Emergency over the next few days getting everything from bloodwork to a CT Scan, which thankfully came back normal. I was told to go to my doctor, which, of course, like millions of other Canadians I don't have, so I saw a doctor at the Bayview Clinic across the road from the hospital. One of the most frightening experiences was trying to cross the road to catch the bus. I felt like I was going to fall down in the middle of the road and get run over, but I made it. The doctor at the clinic had given me an "urgent" referral to a neurologist.
Luckily my name finally came up and I was given an appointment at the Belleville & Quinte West Community Health Clinic and saw nurse practitioner, Stephanie Nickerson and Jessica Tweedy, who spent an hour with me going over all my meds, my diabetes, and this balance issue. Stephanie suggested that my considerable weight loss of thirty pounds on Ozempic might be the cause. She promised to follow up on the referral to the neurologist and she got me one to Dr. Mercier in Nappanee. Too much analysis is paralysis as they say so my research on why you see a neurologist turned up all kinds of scary things, like MS and more, but luckily Dr. Mercier said that my balance issues were because my peripheral neuropathy was getting much worse after all his testing. He explained that the signals weren't getting to my brain for my balance. He also asked if closing my eyes in the shower when I washed my hair interrupted the visual signals as well and that's why I thought I was going to fall. It all made sense and, of course, I was glad it wasn't anything worse.
The saddest part of this year has been losing friends. When I lived here in Belleville before moving to Mexico I had what I thought were good friends. Doral was one of my first here and we did a lot together. She used to take me to the dances Saturdays at the Trenton Legion. She had a trailer in a park north of town and I helped her for many hours. Before COVID her and another good friend, Kate, used to take me to the breakfast at the casino before they shut down. Kate was also an amazing dance partner and we were pretty good together. Prior to leaving for Mexico Bob Cottrell, the President of All-Together Housing, helped me a lot, especially after I moved into the group home on Forin. He let me store all of my things in storage bins in the basement at Forin when I first planned to only stay in Mexico for my six month tourist visa. After things changed and I planned to get married and stay in Mexico I had to come back to apply for my temporary residency in Toronto. Bob helped me move all my stuff to the hotel to sell, which was a total disaster. At Forin I also met a guy who would become my best buddy, Rob.
When I came back I was very lucky that Doral managed to pick me up where the bus surprisingly dropped me off out of town, and she stuck with me until I found emergency housing. Since then though other than the occasional dancing with me if we run into each other she has dropped me as a friend. She wouldn't take me the Trenton Legion anymore because, according to her, her insurance didn't cover me, which is ridiculous. She has moved to the north area of town, a long way away from me, so she never offers me a ride anywhere now. Kate has also dropped me and we haven't danced together since March, when we only had one dance. She rarely messages me as well.
After I was very lucky to get my current apartment and moved out of Forin for some unknown reason Rob didn't contact me for a year, then one day I was outside having a smoke and he came walking up. He had got an apartment around the corner from me, but he acted as though it hadn't been a year since we talked. He suggested we go for coffee which we did many times. He also agreed to be my Executor after I did a new will, introduced him to my landlady and went over all kinds of instructions on how to deal with my website business, my various accounts like my hosting, and hopefully notifying my kids that I was gone. That all fell apart last August when we had a major misunderstanding about a doctor appointment at a local clinic. He had asked if he could come with me to get the doctor fill out some paperwork for him. After waiting hours as usual, and after I spent less than a minute with the doctor he told Rob my time was up and kicked him out. Both of us were obvious furious, but Rob blamed me, told me to F off and lose this number. I wrote a letter to the doctor saying how unprofessional what he did was, and made the mistake of giving Rob a copy so he would know when the clinic hopefully called him to come back, which they did. For some unknown reason Rob somehow got the impression that I was threatening him in the letter and even called the police about it. He said he was going to return my will and all the paperwork we had agreed upon, but he never did. I pleaded with Bob Cottrell to talk to him to try to get it sorted out, but he lied to Bob and said he returned the paperwork to me. He didn't, and this has left me in a terrible mess without an Executor now.
Without any solution with Rob I appealed to Bob to help me to find an Executor and for months he kept promising to help me, but never did. I've known Bob for many, many years. I designed the original logo for All-Together Housing and built the website for free. I always considered Bob to be a good friend, but I guess I was wrong. He's clearly dropped me just like everybody else.
I also met Jassmin, a friend who went biking with me last summer. We also did the cheap Tuesday at the show. I bought the tickets and she gave me a ride. Sometimes we grabbed a burger before the show. That all ended this year. We never once went biking, although with my balance issue I didn't think I could ride without falling over. I messaged her several times about upcoming shows, but she either said she was busy or just ignored me. She had also added a post that she was dating, so that might have had a lot to do with it. I did message her asking if I had done something to upset her, but she just said she had been busy.
One of my longest term friends from back in BC, Linda, who I've always called Lenny for some reason, a friend of more than twenty-five years, would sometimes call me, usually when she was drunk. It's hours behind in BC so she would call me around midnight my time, but we'd still talk for hours. She'd catch me up on many of the friends we had when I lived there, with one story really upsetting me, although it explained why some of the friends I had didn't connect with me anymore. My dear friend, Bianca, who was a really close friend and was amazing after my father died, jumping on a plane to come to help me with my Dad's memorial, had spread a rumor that I had borrowed seventeen thousand dollars from her and never paid her back! An absurd and total lie! Yes, over my sincere objections, warning her that she could easily lose her money, she had insisted on investing two thousand dollars to buy into my website business in Panama. My local site for Boquete was starting to gain some traction and I was making inroads with some large grocery chains to advertise on my websites. Like anything on the web it could go viral and she would make a nice return, but it comes with risk. Unfortunately things fell apart on me and I was forced back to Canada so the business was gone. I apologized to Bianca, explaining what had happened with losing ten grand on the renovation I had been doing for a guy in Kelowna, who screwed me. I had no money and was forced to flee to my dear cousin's place in Toronto, who saved me. Although this was all not related to the website business, I had clearly warned Bianca that there was no guarantee, but she had insisted saying she wanted to help and that she could afford to lose her investment. I still tried hard to talk her out of it. As is said, with friends "never a lender or a borrower be". Had I been able to continue all my hard work in Panama I would have been only too thrilled to share my success with her.
Lenny was a shocked at this rumor as I was, and said she never believed it because she knew me. This ugly, untrue rumor included not to lend me any money when I asked for it, but I had never asked for a dime from anyone in the fourteen years I lived in the Okanagan. Another dear friend, Laura, who believed all this crap from Bianca, and even more lies from my idiot brother sister, got a detailed email from me explaining the facts, but she didn't care enough to respond. My best buddy of fourteen years, Wade, also stopped talking to me. Other than Lenny it appears that the only one who hasn't believed all this is my dear "wifey" Karla, who still is in touch.
Anyone who knows me and is still in touch with me, like my dear friend, Annie, in Mexico, knows how much I hate being stuck in Belleville, the last place on earth I ever thought I would live. After living in the Okanagan, Panama, Ecuador and Mexico, and despite some very rough times in those foreign countries, I still loved the adventures, the cultures, the local people, the music and on and on. I also loved living in the lakes and mountains in every one of those places, including BC. I did travel around BC a lot, and never had a car in any of those other countries, but I always had friends who took me around, or Ubers and buses that were very cheap. Belleville is beyond boring in every sense. Horrible transit system. Nothing much to look at other than the path along the bay.
I wrote a long message to Lenny asking for her help getting back to the Okanagan, but she didn't answer me. I know life would be alot different for me. My parents are gone. I don't have all the toys I had before, like my dirt bike, my snowmobile, my boats and I wouldn't be skiing or rollar blading now, but I could still hike. My idiot sister also lives in Kelowna now so I hope I'd never run into her or I'd be tempoted to strangle her for what she did.
I wish I could go back to Mexico even though it would mean giving up on ever seeing my kids or grandkids again, but it's just not possible. I would lose my one pension again and my meds cost a fortune. My sweet friend, Annie, even offered to marry me so I stay and not have to go through the residency process again, but she would lose the pension from her late husband, so that doesn't work unless I could find a way to support both of us. Her family is delightful and it would be wonderful to have a family again after what my kids have done to me. Every time I've gone anywhere I've always worried about never seeing my kids again, but they've had years and years to reconnect with me and tell me why they abandoned me, but they never have. Annie and I have spent hours and hours chatting about what happens if we get married and I am then have permanent residency. The issue is my medications. She was kind enough to go through my list of medications and check the prices with a pharmacy, but they totaled almost thirteen hundred dollars Canadian! There is a question as to whether I might be covered under their public healthcare program, called IMSS. My research shows it should be unless my diabetes is a preexisting condition and I would be disqualified. There is also a question about Annie's coverage because she says she loses it if we get married, but the is still a Mexican citizen so that makes no sense.
Although it's been four years since I got dumped by text message with no reason given by my fiancée, and it nearly killed me when I felt so worthless and just wanted to swim out in the lake far enough not to make it back, I did survive and didn't give up on finding love again. I just went through what I hoped was love again, but I was so very wrong. I've been accused of falling in love too quickly and I did it again. It's coming up on five years since I came back from Mexico and in all that time I haven't been so much as kissed. I've never been this lonely in my entire life. I really miss having someone special in my life. Being stuck in Belleville, the last place on earth that I ever thought I would live, just makes me feel like I waiting to die.
As a matter of record, and as I've said many times, I miss the adventures of living in other countries, although they were certainly challenging at times. When returning to Mexico didn't look like it would happen I started researching other countries again and found Costa Rica, a country I had visited several times when I lived in Panama and had to leave every three months to renew my tourist visa. I found a great place called Atenas and watched a wonderful video tour of the city centre. The climate looked perfect and, most importantly, their residency income requirement was only a thousand dollars, which I would qualify for even after I lost the GIS pension. I checked the flights which were reasonable and contacted a few Realtors in the area about apartment rentals, but there was nothing even close to my budget of about five hundred a month. There were not many one bedroom apartments but they started at eight hundred USD a month! Some were also plus plus. Not a chance.
At this point in my life I have no clue what I am going to do. Winning the big lottery would be nice, but that's not likely. I know that I am very lucky to have a reasonably affordable apartment, but life is still a struggle when my pensions are below the current poverty level. For months now I have been complaining to very political leader that it's our own money, so please give us enough to live with some dignity. No Vision Care. No Dental Care. Inadequate Health Care. Add no affordable housing anywhere. We are the ones who built tis country and have paid every imaginable tax all our lives. It's disgraceful! Federal politicians get big fat pensions after only four years of service so they have no clue what it's like to struggle.
A lament. The perils of loving the wrong person.
No question that I have been guilty of constantly falling in love with the wrong person. I have always been a hopeless romantic who wears his heart on his sleeve. Love means opening your heart but it also means a risk of getting really hurt. Every time that happens you lose your faith in love and think you will be alone forever.
As a teenager I had my fair share of girlfriends. I was in a band at sixteen and had more than enough "groupies" but they were never anyone I cared enough to ever love. The several girls I called girlfriends were always more friends than lovers. That was until I met my future wife. I was at a party with my then girlfriend, Bev, but when Janice walked down the stairs it was love at first sight. At the top of the stairs I learned that her friend, Lynn, had warned her about me. That I loved blondes. I dropped Bev's hand and went over to Janice and asked her to marry me. I should have taken the clue when she told me to F-off. She had a long term boyfriend, Doug, but I didn't care. After we came back to her parent's place one night he came racing up ready for a fight. He made the fatal mistake of spitting in Janice's face after her mother had come out to see what all the ruckus was about. That ended it for him.
After we spent some time at my parent's place alone because they had gone on vacation the inevitable happened and we slept together and she got pregnant. It didn't matter to me because I loved her and was ready to marry her anytime. Her father was very angry but agreed that we should get married right away, which we did on August 16th, 1969. The wedding and the reception at her parent's place was a hoot, but what happened after was not, and a clear sign of the trouble to come.
My Dad with his warped sense of humor had rented us a room at what was the Thunderbird Motel and he had put a rattle toy under in the mattress, thinking that it would startle us when we made love. Very funny, Dad. It didn't matter because I spent the night sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed. It was the first time that I learned that her getting pregnant was entirely my fault and I was going to be punished for that forever. The only funny part was that when we left on our supposed honeymoon the next morning I had forgotten about the toy in the ripped mattress for which my Dad would pay. I went back to the room and removed it, then had to walk through the lobby with the toy rattling.
The next twenty-three long years were spent in a loveless marriage. I tried and tried, but it was always a better car or a better house or more money for her. She wanted nothing to do with making "love". About the only times we had sex were the three times she got pregnant, until she insisted that I get a vasectomy. My son, Chris, was obviously not planned. My daughter, Heather, came along when Janice didn't tell me she went off birth control. I think she realized that I was going to leave this disaster of a marriage so she got pregnant to keep me. She aborted the third pregnancy without even discussing it with me so I knew the marriage was over.
I will be the first to admit that in the last few years of our marriage I was unfaithful many times. I traveled a fair bit and always seemed to find someone who treated me nice and gave me what I longed for. I hadn't even slept with my wife for five years so it worked for me to feel better about myself. I came very close to leaving my marriage a couple of times and I wish I had. Sticking around for the kids turned out to be useless. Heather told me to go out west when my mother was diagnosed with fifth stage melanoma. She knew my marriage was long over and it was time to give up, but this was the last time she ever talked to me for almost thirty years now. Neither she or Chris have ever given me a reason for abandoning me. Many friends, some of them girlfriends at the time, have said that my now ex had told lies about me and they tried to get in touch with them but always failed.
During my fourteen years in the Okanagan I had lots of girl "friends" but only one real love, Tracy. She had three great kids who I also fell in love with and my relationship with all of them was perfect. That is until her school girlfriends warned her about our age difference and she asked me to leave. It was as hard to leave the kids as it was her. First major hurt, breaking my heart in a million pieces. More to come.
After the renovation from hell my doctor said I was a poster boy for a heart attack and had to get away. I researched other countries with a lower cost of living and chose Panama. There was lots of good and more bad but I did have a girlfriend, Magaly. We had fun together and she slept at my place a lot and we had great sex. With the age difference and the language barrier I don't think I would call it "love" but it was good and I felt bad for her when I was forced to return to Canada.
Back in Canada, saved by my dear cousin, Joan, I lived with her for several months. I met a girl from London on the internet, Denice, and ended up moving to London to be with her. She was married but was in the same position I had been, knowing she had to leave the marriage, which she did. We had some fun times and I loved her daughter, Emily. We never lived together but it all came crashing down when I found out she had lied about a weekend trip. Instead of going to a cousin's baby shower she flew to Ottawa to be with yet another guy she met on the internet. Second time crushed.
Yet again searching for a lower cost of living somewhere off I went to Ecuador. Again more bad than good but just when I was again being forced to go back to Canada I met Patricia. We were good together and spent some very romantic time together. We tried to keep it going after I came back but it wasn't working. Then she started saying she couldn't pay her bills and asking for money, so that ended that. This time my friend, Heather, who had worked for me decades before, offered me her son's place north of Belleville for free because he was renovating it and she thought I could help based on my years of experience. When I got there he had installed a pellet stove, a fridge and stove and even laid in some food for me. It was okay but then the pellet stove failed and I froze my buns off for five days and ended up falling apart at the Salvation Army in Belleville. They were incredible and helped me to get into the first of many group homes.
After finally working my way to living on Forin my rent went up a hundred bucks a month for just a room so again I searched for somewhere with a lower cost of living and this time found Ajijic, Mexico. I left in September, 2017, hoping to finally find that elusive place. I fell in love with it the day I arrived and my plans quickly changed to finding a way to stay there forever instead of just checking it out. Then within a couple of weeks I met Elba, who quickly became what I thought was my true unconditional love. We quickly moved in together and started planning our future together. Her large family accepted me right away. We got engaged at our favorite place, Adelita's, and were congratulated by all our friends. Her two sons asked if it was okay if they called me Dad. Then yet another huge mistake.
My six month tourist visa was about to expire so I had to return to Canada to apply for residency. Although I had my return ticket, I now had to get a ticket to come back. I told Elba that I would miss her and she wanted to come with me, but I was honest and told her I couldn't afford to pay for her ticket. She said she always wanted to visit Canada so she would pay for her own flights. What I was too stupid to realize was that if she married me as planned I would automatically get residency and would not need to go back to Canada to file for it. Our trip back was the trip from hell in every way, but we struggled through it and I didn't see any change in her, but the minute we got back she wasn't coming back to our apartment. Instead she went to hers in Guadalajara, saying she had a meeting with her lawyer in the morning. I knew that was a lie and something was very wrong.
Then she came to our apartment when I was out and packed up all her shoes and clothes. When I came home and asked her what was going on she said she knew we were moving to a smaller place so she was going to sell most of her clothes and shoes. Again, I knew she was lying. That night at Adelita's she was very distant. She didn't sit with me or dance with me. I kept asking her what was wrong but she kept saying nothing was wrong. I thought we were going back to my apartment but she surprised me saying she was gong back to Guadalajara with her son. Now I knew something was really wrong.
That night was a moment that changed my life. She sent me a simple text message that our relationship was over. No reasons given. It struck me like a lighting bolt. I fell apart crying my eyes out. I begged her to tell me why but she refused. For the first time in my life I wanted to just swim out in the lake far enough not to make it back. With her my self confidence could not have been any higher. She told me she loved me several times a day. She said I was the best relationship she had ever had. When we went out she told me how handsome I was, something no one had ever said to me. Every minute together was incredible. Then in a heartbeat I was worthless and saw no reason to go on. If it weren't for two of my friends, Violetta and Don, who talked me down and convinced me to go on I wouldn't be writing this now. In my panic texts I begged Elba to talk to me, but she sent only one text telling me to "disappear". Don actually ended up marrying Elba shortly after I returned to Canada. He had money. I didn't.
Back to Canada in November, 2019 and another series of group homes. I eventually got my current geared to income apartment where I am now. My friends from before when I lived in Belleville had abandoned me for reasons I don't know so life was very lonely and I never met anyone who I might fall in love with, until now.
Call it fate if you want. My neighbor took me to the last concert of the Concerts On the Bay series at West Zwick. Just like any guy I hate to ask a girl to dance and get a "no". You never know what to say after that. I saw this cute girl dancing with a guy, then another guy, then another guy. As I walked passed her I tapped her on the shoulder and said I saw her dancing with a bunch of guys so who was she with? She said she was single. When I said I would love to dance with her she held her arms out. We had some wonderful dances and she asked me if I wanted to take dance lessons with her. Of course I did so we managed to meet at the Quinte Mall and go to the lesson in Trenton. For some unknown reason we instantly clicked but she got me talking and talking, far more than I should have. I kept saying that I was sorry that I was probably boring her but she said she was interested. Hours later when she dropped me off I felt so guilty that I knew almost nothing about her. Was she divorced? Did she have kids? Did she have brothers and sisters? We talked long enough that I should have known. My bad.
More and more connections followed, but I soon discovered that she was a deeply religious girl, and I'm not. At first I thought this would be our undoing but she said that we could debate anything about religion, so that was good. As we spent more and more time together my feelings for her were growing despite not wanting to after how Elba hurt me so badly. I sent her a religious bangle for her birthday, hoping she would be okay getting it from me, and she was. I ran around at the mall getting her birthday cards, a teddy bear, a birthday balloon, a flower, which I somehow lost on the way home, and put together a gift bag for her. I hoped she would let me take her out for a birthday dinner, but she declined. She did come over and spread out a blanket to have a picnic. She opened the gift bag and loved everything in it. Things were good with us.
Then I blew it. I professed my love for her. I sent her a very long, romantic poem in which I acknowledged that she just wanted to be the dreaded "friends". I did still hope that she would eventually feel the same for me though. I loved every minute that I spent with her, could not stop thinking about her and missed her every minute that we were apart. One day when she came over we talked for four hours, then she phoned me later and we talked for another four hours! Never in my life have I ever talked to any girl for eight hours in one day! I told her that I had probably talked with her more than I had with my ex of twenty-three years.
After making the huge mistake of telling her that I loved her all the joy of our relationship was sucked out. At our last dance lesson she was leading very strongly. As I have for many, many years I had told her the three lessons of dance. One, the guy leads. Two, whatever goes wrong is the guys fault, and, three, have fun. Over the last thirty years I have taken ten years of lessons in country dance and competed in several competitions. I must have danced with several hundred women and in four countries. If the girl is leading after I gave her the rules I tell her that she's leading and usually she stops. If she doesn't listen I will stop on the dance floor to give her the choice to quit or pay attention. Never in all those years have I ever had a problem. In Kelowna at the OK Corral I probably taught thirty young girls to dance because their boyfriends were too stupid to take lessons.
In the lesson she refused to stop leading so again I stopped to give her the same choice I've given all the other girls. She was then really upset because she said other people there would think she was a "controlling bitch". The first and only girl to ever think that. Our lessons were over. After the lesson we had a great hike up a local mountain so I still had hope for us. Boy, was I wrong.
We did have a wonderful day together at the O'Hara Homestead for their two hundredth anniversary, but still had issues. She didn't take her phone for some reason and kept ordering me around to take photos as though I had never done that thousands of times. After I joked at the tea party we went to that men have no such thing as equality but we accept it to keep peace, again she said it made her sound like that controlling bitch. Apparently I am no longer able to make jokes about anything.
It was around this time that I realized she had never gone to my Facebook page or, more importantly, this website. She also dictated that she would no longer use Messenger which we had used a lot. She also insisted that we only use texting despite the fact that I had told her I hate typing on my phone. It was becoming more and more clear that she wasn't interested in me at all, even as a friend. I knew I couldn't just stop loving her so I hoped we would make it through all my growing doubts.
The next day she was going to a friend's birthday party in Madoc but she surprised me by inviting me to go. I wasn't sure who this friend was so I felt a bit awkward going if she didn't know me, but it turned out I did know her and had even danced with her at the lessons. There were a lot of friends from the dance class there so that was good and I felt comfortable. When we danced though she started pushing me around the dance floor again, telling me what to do. Obviously she didn't pay any attention to what I had said about the guy leading. Dancing with her was not fun anymore.
The birthday party was the good part of the day, as was what we did exploring the local shops and stopping to look at a guy's paintings by the road. The horrible part of the day was the start.
After picking me up she started the worst attack I've ever had in my life. Even my ex wasn't as cruel. I had told her that my loveless marriage was nothing but verbal abuse for everything I said or did. No matter how hard I tried I could never make it any better. Better house. Better car. Nothing worked. And I said clearly that I vowed to never put up with that again. For me respect and equality are fundamental to any good relationship. Her vicious attack found fault with everything I had done or said. No mention of the love I had shown her. No respect for the way she knew I felt about her. She even said friends are supposed to make each other happy and we weren't doing that. Much as I didn't want to I fought back disagreeing with her that I was worthless. She countered that I was playing the victim, which I clearly was. She had me on the verge of tears. Not only had I given up on any loving relationship with her and was struggling to just be her friend, now that was gone too. You can't be friends with someone you find so many faults with.
Today wasn't just a conflict about going or not going to the dance lesson. It was a full on attack. To quote:
"I won't be calling you when I get home to listen to you ranting and raving about how you miss today even though yu said you didn't want to come anymore...I don't play mind games. And when you tell a person you don't want to go somewhere anymore. And then you say tell me what time you're picking me up. That's playing mind games...if you don't believe me please run it by your friend anna"
If you're not coming that's one hundred percent your choice. I just don't want to hear about it for an hour and a half the next time I see you. It's the end of the subject. If you said oh I changed my mind and I'd like to come now, that's different, but when you say what time are you picking me up? That's passive-aggressive because the last news I had was that you didn't want to go anymore. Did you look at the communication videos I asked you to? I never did mind games in high school and I don't do them now. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It's really simple and avoids confusion. Please don't twist my words."
"Again you're talking head games. Let me know if I'm not coming with you today please. I don't let anybody know what they're doing. I'm not a control freak like you think I am. You're a big boy, you know, whether you want to go or not. You're manipulating the situation and forcing me to make the call for what is happening. That should be a decision mutually made by two grown adults. All you had to say was "Hey (name). I changed my mind and I'd really like to go today. You don't realize it but instead you manipulated the situation to try to get me to make a decision for you. That's controlling but I know you don't realize it."
"Even by saying you screwed up the best friendship you ever had is passive-aggressive because I never said that. I had no idea that our friendship is over but I guess apparently it is according to you. I think maybe you just experienced most things in a grandiose way, like kind of overexaggerated in your experience with the situation. Have you ever been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder?"
The facts of this whole situation are that, yes, after friends supposedly thought she was a controlling bitch after I stopped on the dance floor I wasn't enjoying the lessons after that and said I probably wouldn't go again. For me, much as I cared for her, dancing is supposed to be fun and it wasn't. Sunday when she dropped me off I said I would think about it regarding going to the lesson. I also said that I was down to my last bus tickets and couldn't afford to get more so that was also an issue. She said she would pick me up but I said that I would meet her again at the mall. I did and realized both how much I enjoyed dancing with her and just spending time with her. I accepted that I would let her do all the leading she wanted to and not object. Early this morning I asked her not what time she was picking me up, rather what time she wanted to meet at the mall as we had done before. I needed to shave and shower and catch the two buses to get to the mall in time. Clearly I wanted to go. Instead of simply answering me she sent me all the bus schedules that I already knew from riding the buses in town for years and years, then went on the diatribe you see. I have no idea why.
Yet another wrong woman to fall in love with. I get that I express my love too soon, but I am a painfully honest guy and I am always honest about my feelings. For me, to be in love with someone and not tell them is just wrong, but yet again I have been hurt badly by doing this. If I ever fall in love again it will be very hard not to express my feelings honestly, but I'll try. I probably don't have much longer to live so I guess I will be alone.
Reflecting on life.
Clearly no one cares, but, as always, I find writing is a little therapeutic for me. When life gets me down more than I can handle I’ve reached out for help from both “friends” and mental health organizations like the Enrichment Centre here in town and others, but nobody responds. Healthcare in general is a total mess right now in Canada, but mental health is by far the worst. People are waiting months for desperately needed appointments. Sad.
As I have said in other life reflection posts I feel totally trapped here in Belleville and feel like I am just waiting to die, which, thanks to my apparently not so urgent medical issue, might be closer than I think. It’s now been a year since the doctor at the walk-in clinic supposedly gave me an “urgent” referral to a neurologist in Kingston but I haven’t heard a word yet. As is said, too much analysis is paralysis, so I’ve stopped researching why you go to a neurologist. There’s no simple reasons. All of them are downright scary.
No question that Belleville is the very last place I ever thought I would live. Many years ago I ended up here after things didn’t work out for me in Ecuador and my friend, Heather, a former employee of decades ago, offered to let me stay at her son’s house outside of town which was under renovation and she thought based on my years of renovating several houses that I could help him. That turned into a total disaster when the pellet stove he installed failed and I froze my ass off for several days. I ended up breaking down in tears at the Salvation Army and they managed to get me into a group home. Yet another disaster.
After far too long I managed to get into another group home, this one run by All-Together Housing, where I met the President, Bob Cottrell, which was the start of a years long relationship. Back in 2017 when my time was about up at the group home, plus my rent for my room went up a hundred dollars, plus I now had an absurd amount on my credit card, I made the decision to give Mexico a try. Although it sure was an adventure, including falling in love with the love of my life and getting engaged, it was yet another disaster when I lost one of my pensions, about a third of my limited income, I couldn’t afford my very expensive medications, and I got dumped by text message and she married my best friend, who had money, way more than I did. I was forced back to Canada and tried to go back to the Okanagan where I had spent fourteen wonderful years, but it proved impossible to find anywhere affordable to live and I had no choice but to return to Belleville.
When I lived here before I found several good friends, but things have sure changed now. One was a guy I lived with at the last group home. We did a lot together, like going out for dinner, going to the show, visiting parks in the area, and going to Kingston several weekends, but when I came back he had moved to Winnipeg. Although I don’t remember where I met her, Doral was a good friend when I first came here. We used to go every Saturday to the Trenton Legion to see the bands. I helped her at her trailer north of town many times. We worked the Elvis Festival in Tweed. We helped a buddy move. We went to the casino for breakfast a few times with another good friend, Kate, all before the virus shut everything down. When I came back from Mexico the bus from Toronto dropped me off miles out of town and I was panicking. I called Doral and she was kind enough to pick me up and rescue me. I called for emergency housing and she got me connected to take a cab to Trenton to stay in a motel for the night. After that I barely ever see her other than once in a while at dances here. She won’t take me to Trenton for some reason and has nothing to do with me anymore. It’s the same with Kate who has been a dance partner for some eight years now, but she has abandoned me as well. I also met Jassmin and we went to Cheap Tuesdays at the movies. I bought the tickets and she gave me a ride, but she too has stopped responding to my messages. With all these “friends” I don’t know if I’ve done something to upset them and have no clue why they’ve dropped me.
I don’t know if it’s a post COVID thing or me, but people seem to be a lot less friendly now than they used to be. I’m in the Quinte Singles group which has close to eight hundred members now, but they don’t come out to any of the events. A recent corn roast/pot luck event only had twenty-four people show up. There’s a dance coming up soon so hopefully lots of members will show up.
For me the summer has been a total disaster. Not only have I never been to a dance in Trenton because Doral won’t give me a ride anymore, but I can’t get a ride to anything. There’s been some great bands playing at the casino Friday nights, but the last bus home is at 9:40 so I miss most of it. One of the bands that I built a website for, Back Swing, was there recently but I couldn’t go. There’s also great concerts at the Lions Pavilion at West Zwick park, called Concerts On the Bay, every Wednesday and Sunday nights, but the buses don’t even go there so I’ve not been to one concert. I’ve never been anywhere near a beach this summer. Never been to Kingston on the weekends. Even the Saturday night dances at the ANAF club are impossible because the buses don’t run on Saturday nights and it’s impossible to get a cab even if I could afford it, which I can’t.
Hard as I try my website business, something I’ve done for decades and in many countries, has failed to make a dime. What I used to get four or five hundred dollars for is now down to a hundred and twenty-nine dollars and I do a lot more work for it, like registering the domain name, building a much more complicated website, and free hosting. I did build a couple of band sites for even less money. I also invested about three thousand dollars worth of time building out one of the most complicated sites ever, my mistake, yes, but the client turned out to be an idiot and ended it just insulting me.
Life is certainly not good now. I did just manage to connect with my son from another mother to tell him about my health issue because it might affect him someday. His mother told me never to contact him again but I felt I had an obligation to let him know because he is my biological son and he thanked me and asked me to keep him posted so I will.
As much as I would be giving up on ever seeing my kids or grandkids before I die, I still wish I could go back to Mexico to live out what’s left of my life. My dear friend, Annie, said she would marry me so I can stay in Mexico, but I would again lose one of my pensions when I am out of the country for more than six months and I could never afford my diabetic medications, which are free here in Canada. I told Annie that if my eventual diagnosis with the neurologist is fatal I will sell everything and come back to live out what’s left of my life with her and her wonderful family.
Should anyone care, stay tuned.
Advice to the young
Someone asked what advice I would give to someone twenty years old so this was my response -
1. Don't just get a job. Take a course like Personality Dimensions (True Colors in the US) to discover your passion. You will spend the majority of your life working so do what you love and it will never feel like work.
2. Find someone special to share your life. Your heart can be tricked and your brain will know something's not right, but trust your gut. A great relationship is based on mutual trust, respect and equality. Never let anyone control you.
3. Travel the world while you are still young. You will learn so much by experiencing other cultures. Take a month every year and travel to different places in the world.
4. Take lots of photos and videos of your life, especially of your kids if and when you have them. You will treasure those when you are old and look back on the memories, especially if you are alone.
5. Never let anything come between you and your family. Blood is thicker than water. Always take the high road and be the one to forgive no matter what they do. Don't let petty issues fester until they are gone and it's too late.
6. Difficult as it is to talk about, know your parents financial situation and their wishes when they are gone. If you avoid it you will face many problems when they are gone.
7. Don't do anything criminal and get trapped in the horrible justice system because it can ruin your life.
8. Regardless of where you are born consider living in other places, even other countries. Look at business opportunities, weather, language, Real Estate to find your own version of paradise.
9. In everything you do pay attention to your health and mental wellbeing. Don't smoke. Don't drink. Don't do drugs. Have adventures but don't take unnecessary risks getting hurt. Stay safe.
IMHO 😀