TheEditor

My Life - My Dad's Eulogy

OUR DAD

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING TODAY TO HONOR MY FATHER. MY DAD LIVED A RICH AND FULL LIFE. ALTHOUGH WE CERTAINLY WISH HE WAS STILL HERE WITH ALL OF US, WE ARE COMFORTED BY THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HE WENT QUICKLY AND WITHOUT PAIN. TO ANSWER YOUR MANY QUESTIONS DAD HAD A SEVERE ASTHMA ATTACK WHICH CAUSED HIS THROAT TO CLOSE COMPLETELY AND DIED IMMEDIATELY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO RUSHED TO HELP US, EITHER HELPING WITH MY DAD OR COMFORTING MY MUM, AND FOR THE PARAMEDICS WHO CAME SO QUICKLY AND WORKED SO HARD TO SAVE HIM, BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT NOTHING COULD HAVE SAVED HIM. HE DIDN’T HAVE A DROP OF WATER IN HIS LUNGS AND DID NOT DROWN AS MANY OF YOU MAY HAVE THOUGHT.

IN OUR MANY WONDERFUL MEMORIES OF MY DAD AND IN GOING THROUGH HUNDREDS OF PICTURES, IT’S OBVIOUS THAT HE LIVED LIFE TO THE FULLEST, FROM GROWING UP IN THE HARSH WINTERS OF INNISVALE ALBERTA, AND, YES, WALKING FIVE MILES TO SCHOOL, UPHILL IN BOTH DIRECTIONS; TO SERVING HIS COUNTRY IN THE NAVY; TO WORKING TWO JOBS TO PAY FOR MY MUM’S MEDICAL EXPENSES, LONG BEFORE MEDICARE; RAISING THREE ADORABLE CHILDREN, WELL, TWO – YOU FIGURE IT OUT; RENOVATING AN OLD FARMHOUSE IN STREETSVILLE THAT HAD COAL STOVES FOR HEATING AND NO IN-DOOR PLUMBING (GOD, I’M OLD); PACKING UP AND MOVING WEST TO PENTICTON (AREN’T WE GLAD IT WAS WINDY THAT DAY AND HE KEPT GOING TO KELOWNA); TO WORKING AT WESTERN STAR AND RETIRING HERE TO OUR LITTLE PIECE OF PARADISE HERE AT SHADY REST, MY DAD WORKED HARD ALL HIS LIFE BUT ALWAYS MADE TIME FOR FUN. HE WAS AN AVID DIRT-BIKER AND A MEMBER OF THE NOTORIOUS “OVER THE HILL GANG” IN YUMA, ARIZONA, BIKING LONG AFTER MANY OS US WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP. MANY OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES OF DAD ARE THE MILES AND MILES OF BACK COUNTRY TRAILS WE BIKED, BOTH HERE AND IN REVELSTOKE. MY OWN SON CHRIS CAME OUT FROM ONTARIO TO BIKE WITH DAD. CHRIS AND DAD AND I WERE STANDING BESIDE A BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAIN RIVER ON A GORGEOUS SUMMER DAY, BEER IN HAND AND MY SON SAID “IT DOESN’T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS”. HE WAS SO RIGHT.

HE BOUGHT AND REBUILT THE BIG BOAT WITH THE TWIN V8 ENGINES AND PAINTED IT PURPLE BECAUSE, WELL, THAT WAS MY DAD. HE WAS SO PROUD THAT HE HAD 28 OF HIS FRIENDS JOIN HIM ON THAT BOAT.

MY DAD TOUCHED A LOT OF LIVES IN HIS EIGHTY-ONE YEARS. HE ALWAYS GOT INVOLVED WHEN SOMETHING NEEDED TO GET DONE. AT WESTERN STAR HE WAS ACTIVE IN THE UNION AND THE HEAD OF THE SAFETY COMMITTEE.  HERE IN THE PARK HE HELPED ORGANIZE YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH AND HE WANTED TO HELP THE NEW MARINA ASSOCIATION HOWEVER HE COULD.

EACH OF US WILL HAVE OUR OWN SPECIAL MEMORY OF MY DAD. IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO FIND ONE THAT STOOD OUT. I DECIDED THAT IN THE TRUE SPIRIT OF DAD I WOULD PICK THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS. MANY OF MY FRIENDS HERE TODAY WERE ENJOYING THE BEACH, BECAUSE MY MUM AND DADS DOOR WAS ALWAYS OPEN. WE HAD THREE BOATS HERE TAKING PEOPLE SKIING. MY DAD HAD BEEN DRINKING ALL DAY WITHOUT EATING A THING. HE DECIDED HE WAS GOING SKIING. HE TOLD MY FRIEND WADE TO TAKE HIM UP. MY SISTER WAS ON THE DECK FREAKING OUT THAT WE WERE NOT TO EVEN THINK OF TAKING HIM. WADE WASN’T SURE WHAT TO DO BECAUSE, WHEN DAD SAID HE WANTED TO DO SOMETHING, THERE WASN’T MUCH POINT IN ARGUING. I ASKED WADE TO JUST TAKE HIM FOR A LITTLE LOOP AROUND THE BUOYS AND RIGHT BACK. MY DAD WALKED DOWN THE BEACH INTO THE WATER, CARRYING HIS SKIS AND PROMPTLY FELL FACE FIRST IN THE LAKE. I STILL REMEMBER HIM COMING UP SPITTING AND COUGHING AND SAYING “WELL, MAYBE LATER”. MANY OF YOU KNOW THE MANY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS WE HAD WITH HIS BLUE BOAT.   THREE ENGINES LATER MY DAD FINALLY GOT TO TAKE HIS LAST SKI AT EIGHTY YEARS OLD LAST YEAR.   QUITE A FEAT.

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING TODAY.  THIS SERVICE TODAY IS NOT TO MOURN MY FATHER’S PASSING.   HE SPECIFICALLY WANTED NO SAD FUNERAL AND NO TEARS.   NOT ONE OF US WANTS TO DIE AND WE CERTAINLY HOPE WHEN WE DO THAT WE DON’T GO TRAGICALLY. DR HOLMES IN ICU SAID THIS COULD HAVE HAPPENDED TO DAD SUDDENTLY AT ANY TIME. HE COULD HAVE BEEN DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD WITH MY MUM IN THE CAR, HAD AN ACCIDENT AND TAKEN MY MUM AND AN INNOCENT LIFE AS WELL. WE HATE THAT HE IS GONE, BUT WE ARE THANKFUL THAT IT HAPPENED HERE IN THE PLACE HE LOVED BEST, SURROUNDED BY HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

BE IT “DAD” TO YOU, “JIMMY”, OR DONALD (DON TO HIS FAMILY) OR JUST “SWEETHEART” HE WILL BE SORRILY MISSED, BUT HE WILL LIVE ON IN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS FOREVER. MAY IT ALWAYS BE “HAPPY HOUR” IN HEAVEN FOR YOU DAD.

HERE IS HOW HE WISHED TO BE REMEMBERED. (VIDEO)

Editor's Note: My Mum and Dad recorded a hilarious video of them dancing together at their club in Yuma, Arizona. My Dad was dressed as a floosy with big boobs. He basically followed my mother in the routine, which made it all the more comical. Although I knew that this is the way my Dad would want to be remembered, I was somewhat nervous showing this video at his memorial in case anyone thought it was disrespectful. I was so relieved when all kinds of people came up to me after the service and said how much they enjoyed it, how much my Dad would have loved it, and some even said I could organize their memorials. 

by TheEditor

My Life - Guy Rules

From:                 Gary Jones

To:                      NCI_KELOWNA

Date:                   Fri, May 7, 1999  9:54 AM

Subject:              Guy Rules

From: smile.now@home.com

RULES THAT GUYS WISHED WOMEN KNEW ‑

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat.
6. Sunday = Sports.
7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
8. Women wearing Wonder bras and low‑cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
9. You have too many shoes.
10. Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done ‑ not both.
23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
24. You have enough clothes.
25. Nothing says "I love you" like sex.

by TheEditor