The Wake-up Call
For most of my adult life I have woken up at 6:00 am. Not 5:59 am or 6:01 am, but on the dot of 6:00 am. It is a phenomenon I have never understood, despite much research on the internet but with no answers.
When I moved out West back in 1993, traveling through Canada's various time zones, I woke up at 6:00 am wherever I was at the time. For several months after arriving in Westbank and staying with my parents, sleeping on the beach, I woke up at 6:00 am despite the three hour time difference. When I moved to Panama, where the time zone is one hour different, I still awoke the first day at 6:00 am in the hotel I stayed at, despite having slept several hours on the bus trip from Panama City to Boquete. When I returned to Toronto in March of 2009 and stayed with my cousin I woke up at 6:00 am the very next day even though I had not managed a wink on the noisy bus to Panama City or the flights to Toronto on the same day.
Another confusing fact is that it does not matter what time I went to sleep or how much sleep I've had, even if I have napped during the day, fallen asleep watching TV or stayed up late. When I worked a factory job out West, starting at 7:00 am and finishing at 3:30, I would come home, have a couple of hours sleep, then go out, often not getting to bed until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, yet I still woke at 6:00 am.
Last night we put our clocks back one hour and one would think that I would wake up at 7:00 am, only yesterday what was 6:00 am, but this morning I woke up at exactly 6:00 am new time. How my body is aware of the one hour difference continues to puzzle me.
Best birthdays
Having had sixty-four of them you would think more of them would stand out in my mind. Obviously where you are, who are your friends and your family situation all affect how you celebrate your birthday. Maybe it's the ravages of aging but I don't remember any particular birthday as a kid or even during my marriage.
My first memorable birthday was while I was first staying with my parents in Westbank. My Dad came and woke me up early and said there was a phone call for me. It was my darling friend, Lenny, calling me all the way from Turkey to wish me a happy birthday. Now that's special.
No sooner had I hung up the phone on her than I got a full-face cream pie from my Dad. My BFF, Wade, had put him up to it. Nice start to the day. Only Wade could dream this up and I wondered what he had in store for me for the rest of the day.
At the time I was working at a client, Central Valley Trucking and I didn't even think they knew it was my birthday. Sure enough Wade had delivered a pie the day before and they nailed me with it. Made for a stinky day at work and I was happy to hit the shower when I got home.
The plan was to meet at the Corral so naturally I was on my guard. The darling manager, Meryl, said she wanted to see me in the back pool room. You guessed it. They nailed me with yet another cream pie. The problem was all I could do was wipe off what I could. What was left just turned sour and stunk like hell. My lovely dance partners kept telling me how gross I smelled. Thanks, Wade.
The next memorable birthday was my fiftieth. Unbenounced to me, my friend Karen Falloon had worked tirelessly to arrange a surprise party for me at the back of what I think was Dakotas. The ruse was we were meeting my parents for dinner. When we got there she asked me if I wanted to play some pool at the back while we waited for them. The doors opened and there was my parents and at least fifty of my friends, some of whom had traveled a long way to be there. It was a wonderful surprise and one of my best birthdays ever.
Another great one was at the Corral, of course. Lots of my close friends and my dance partners were all there and insisted on buying me a shot. After about thirteen of them my memory of the rest of the night is very fuzzy. The funniest part was a couple of days later went I went to the Corral everyone was congratulating me on how well I rode the mechanical surfboard. The only problem was I had no memory of it. Amazing that I was so drunk and still managed not to fall off.
Yet another one of Wade's excellent cakes.
Birthday celebrations have certainly gone downhill since I left the Okanagan. The only birthday I had in Panama was spent having a few beers and playing pool.
Since returning to Canada and especially in London where I have no friends birthdays have just been another day with little meaning except that I'm getting older. No fun at all.
Diabetes - PLEASE heed this warning
Nine million Canadians are living with some form of diabetes. An estimated two million Canadians are undiagnosed. The number of people diagnosed with diabetes is projected to increase 56% over the next ten years. Juvenile diabetes has increased forty percent over the last ten years, mostly because of poor diet, physical inactivity and obesity.
Back in 2004, after I had crashed my dirt bike, tore up my ankle and couldn't do any physical activity for a year, I gained fifty pounds and I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. When I was able to return to my many activities I lost the weight quickly and my diabetes was managed with only Metformin.
In late 2007 circumstances led to a high level of stress and my sugars were literally "off the charts". My doctor put me on high doses of insulin and my sugars moderated. He told me I was a poster boy for a heart attack and I needed to get out from under the stress or it would kill me. I moved to Panama and my diabetes was managed with Metformin and daily insulin in relatively small doses.
Circumstances led to my return to Canada and, at one point, I found myself living on the streets, unable to afford my medications for six weeks. I did not know at the time that I was doing irreparable damage to the nerves in my feet. I developed severe diabetic neuropathy, a burning, excruciating pain for which there is no cure. A host of medications, plus huge increases in my daily insulin, do little to mitigate the pain. The only "relief" is when I sleep, but obviously I can't enjoy it because I am asleep. I wake to the vicious cycle of every step being painful.
I have gone from a healthy, ridiculously active person who hiked, biked, danced, roller-bladed, skied (cross-country, downhill and water skied), played racquetball and tennis, and even para-glided, to someone who can barely walk with the aid of a cane. All this in only a couple of short years. My doctors offer little hope and just tell me to learn to live with the pain.
I cannot urge you enough to get tested, regardless of your age. People often think that diabetes is an old person's disease, but this is not true. Diabetes can reduce your life expectancy by more than ten years. It can result in amputations. It is a leading risk factor for heart attacks. If diagnosed early enough diabetes can be managed, not cured, but the risks of amputations and early death can be greatly reduced. Don't ignore the warning and be part of that two million people undiagnosed. It is much better to know and be able to manage it.
So Much for the "Power" of Social Media
There was a job back in Kelowna with a company owned by the son of a colleague I had done business with many years ago. I thought it might be interesting and maybe help me get the job if I asked all my friends and colleagues to send a simple email to him with the subject line "Hire Gary Jones".
At the very least I thought getting maybe thirty or forty emails would help to get me noticed. Okay, so some of my 136 friends on Facebook don't know me well enough to send what looks like a recommendation, but a lot of them do. Not only that but a lot of them are friends I have helped out when they needed it; everything from help with moving to renovating to taking them out on my boat. A simple one-line email wasn't too much to ask, I thought.
No such luck. It backfired on me big time when all he got was TWO emails. That's right - TWO! If he read into it that I had asked all my many friends and colleagues in the Okanagan to send him a simple email, and the response was a big fat TWO, then it's not surprising that I never heard from him again.
Given my current desperation to get the hell out of London and back to my beloved Okanagan, this experience sure brought me down, which is the last thing I needed right now.
The Story of the Ring
Many years ago, when things were going a lot better for me, I bought a diamond ring which was from an estate sale. I paid $400 and had an independent appraisal of $1,200. I treasured that ring and only took it off when I was working doing messy renovations. After I had virtually everything stolen from me in Panama I was glad I was wearing my ring and it didn't get stolen.
Are we heading for an economic collapse?
Back when my in-laws were looking to buy their first home, first they saved for a couple of years to come up with a down payment of a couple thousand dollars. They then qualified for a mortgage with a twenty-five year term and an interest rate of around 5% for the entire term. New homes at the time were about double the average annual family income, based on the wife staying at home to raise the kids and Dad working. Dad was an electrician making about $6,000 a year and their three bedroom new home in Brampton was $12,900. Affordable.
Moving on to my first home. My first family home, a fixer upper, was $42,500 and our family income was just over $20,000. Throughout our more than twenty years of marriage and eight homes, the price we paid was always right around double our annual family income. Even our last matrimonial home was sold for $189,000; my ex was not working, but I was making about $90,000 as a computer consultant.
Fast forward to today. I am working at a call centre, making just over eleven dollars an hour, not an uncommon wage in London for people who work at the few jobs available here - The Tim Hortons, the Home Depots, Wal-Marts and so on. If you are lucky enough to work full-time that adds up to a whopping $23,400. Assume that two people in the same family are working, which is a stretch considering that 54% of people are now divorced. Let's round that off to $50k for the household anyway, so, if the same relationship is true we should be able to buy a home for $100k, right? Not a chance! The average new home price in most urban areas is at least $400k, four times what we earn!
The housing market has always functioned on the concept that young people buy their first home and throughout their lives they move up to bigger and better homes, gaining equity for that day when they retire and sell their last home. If no one is entering the bottom of the market the whole thing grinds to a halt. Prices will fall dramatically when there are no buyers entering the market for the first time.
The same thing is going to happen with cars. Car payments through a bank or lease payments were always affordable, even for those who wanted a new car every three years. Car prices today often require payments that look more like a mortgage payment on a small house. These car payments together with astronomical mortgage payments are what is pushing the average amount of debt through the roof. Older Canadians usually have no mortgage and no car payments, so that leaves all the rest of the younger population shouldering more and more of the debt load. A minor hiccup in interest rates is going to result in the kind of foreclosures we saw in the US and prices will crash the same.
Add to all this the costs of operating a vehicle. Interest rates on car leases are absurd. Buyouts are insane. Insurance costs are over the top. Repairs, particularly on parts for foreign cars are out of site. Now add five buck a gallon fuel and people are no doubt going to question the value of owning a car. Trips of any kind, whether to the local store or a Sunday drive in the country, must be rethought when the price of gas is factored in. When my kids were young we traveled all over Ontario and the north-eastern states for their hockey and soccer, all year round. Today I could never afford that and my kids would suffer if they wanted to play organized sports.
It's what's behind things like the Occupy Movement. More and more people are feeling disenfranchised because they see the rich getting richer and richer, yet the majority are falling further and further behind. It could all serve to bring on an economic collapse. Thoughts?
My Life - Inspiration
THERE WILL NEVER EVER BE ANOTHER YOU
The world has never seen anyone quite like you before, and it will never see another YOU again. And there is something you have to contribute to the world that the world needs from YOU, no matter how small or unimportant you may think you are, in the great scheme of things. You were born, you are breathing, you are here, because there is something you have to contribute to the world that the world really, really needs. At least in that place, at least at this time, at least with your style, at least with your character and stamp upon it. Someone needs you. Someone’s life has been, or will be, better because of you. Be you a health care professional, a scientist, an engineer, or techie, or digger of ditches, it doesn’t matter. The world needs all these things, but animated specifically by your spirit, your brains, your personality, beneath and in it all.
Your purpose in life isn’t just a matter of what kind of work you do. It’s a matter of who you are, what kind of person you are, and whether you choose to be the best YOU that you can possibly be.
- Richard N. Bolles (What Color Is Your Parachute?)
If I had a million dollars
Those of us who play the lottery often muse on what we would do with all that money. It depends on how much we are talking about, of course. If it's only a couple mil then that is barely enough to live out your life on, let alone afford any real luxuries like cars, yachts, or homes we wouldn't be able to afford. If it's an insane amount like the recent fifty million, well then the imagination runs wild. We could change the world, right?
I am one of those unfortunate people who got hooked by the commercials one of the lotteries ran featuring a guy reading the paper, and seeing his number had won but he didn't have a ticket. My numbers, 4 11 19 27 36 and 39, were based on my age and family ages at the time, so, now that I am 62, you can figure out how long I've played the same damn number. I've won a couple of $10 payouts, which is frustrating because then I think the chances of those numbers coming up again is remote. I never know whether to keep buying tickets or not.
Just to dream for a while, if I did win big, these are some of the things I would do -
Numero Uno would be to pay back the people who have helped me in my life, some more than others. Top of my list is two people who believed in me and through circumstances beyond my control, I could not pay back as planned. I lost everything and was forced to leave the country just to stay alive and I hurt them very badly when I left. I have felt terrible every single day since and I hope to be able to pay them back as soon as I can. Living on assistance obviously is not the way to ever get ahead with anything, but I hope to change that. They get a hundred grand. Next would come my true friend, Bianca, who believed in me when I was in Panama and invested in my business, which died when I was forced to return to Canada. She lent me two thousand dollars on blind faith, so she gets fifty grand. Next comes my best bud, Wade, who stepped in to help me with the disaster of a house that cost me everything. He said he got his money back, but he never told me the whole truth. He also gets a hundred grand, hopefully to help with his hunting lodge dream. I would also invest in anything he wants to do because I trust him with my life.
Next comes family, and that's a tough one. My son and daughter both abandoned me after I moved west, so, on the one hand, I feel they don't deserve anything. I wouldn't want them to get back in touch with me just because I now had money. On the other hand, they are still my flesh and blood, so I would want to help them however I could. I don't think I would outright gift them, but I would help them if they asked. My ex got ninety-five percent of everything we owned when we split, so she's off the list. My brother and sister have done enough to me for a lifetime, so they don't get a dime. My Mum and Dad are gone, so it's too late to help them. I've lost touch with whatever other family I have anywhere, but I'll bet they would find me if they thought there was something in it for them. I would help my cousin, Joan, in any way she needed for letting me stay with her when I came back to Canada.
Next would come friends and that's also a tough one. How do you give something to one without offending another? You can't place a monetary value on friendship, so I wouldn't try. I think I would throw a big bash and invite them all and maybe give them something like ten grand each to blow on something they don't need. If it was something like the fifty million I won, then the bash would be on a tropical paradise somewhere.
Silly things? My one compelling wish if I won the lottery is to go to the Corral and tell the manager that I'm paying for drinks for the women for the next hour. I wouldn't want them announcing anything; just tell them as they order that it's free. At the end of the hour they would just announce a thank you to me for buying the drinks in my favorite bar. If you wonder why only the women, well, I don't dance with guys and they get drunk and stupid enough on their own without my help.
I would also invite Teri Hatcher and her daughter to visit the Okanagan, just so I get to meet my fantasy girl. Maybe I could swing a fantasy sleepover with Teri, Marcia MacMillan, Diane Ladd, Sally Fields, Cheryl Hickey, Sara Richardson, Sandi Rinaldo and Hayley Bennett? Now, that would be an interesting group.
I would want a decent house on the beach in West Kelowna, preferably be able to design and build my own as I've always loved architecture. It would not be any elaborate palace, but would have some nice touches. My only luxury would be an indoor/outdoor pool for parties, a game room and home theater. I can't imagine any fancy expensive cars in the driveway; probably just a Honda Civic, which I've always wanted. I might want some kind of off-road wheels, plus, of course, a dirt-bike, a couple of sea-dos, a ski boat and a snowmobile - my "toys".
Business wise I would invest and work on many of the concepts I have had most of my life. My dream project was to develop a manufactured home park like no other and this would be a priority for sure. I would love to win enough to be able to help people start small businesses. Investments, not gifts.
Charity wise I would want to develop the assisted living facilities that I designed, to provide people in need with decent housing and help to get their lives back on track. It would be s step up from the shelters and give people back their dignity. I've been there and it's not pretty. The government wastes so much money on funding substandard living and I want to help to change that.
There would be some pet projects, like one life to save, a website where people can tell me their stories and we would help them to get back on track with whatever they need. It would operate similar to Extreme Makeover, with companies donating goods and services to people to help to change their lives for the better. Hopefully I could convince Ellen DeGeneres to work with me. It would be my make a difference while I'm here project.
As we learned with Steve Jobs, money can't buy health, but I would hope that I could get maybe a personal trainer and a decent doctor to help with my diabetes and all the challenges I've had over the past few months. I want to lose the weight I've gained and get back to being active like I used to be before all this.
And, finally, I hope to convince Cheryl to have dinner with me. It would be a very private affair, maybe on a rooftop somewhere, with lots of candles, flowers, wine and music to warm her heart and convince her that I now have enough money to make her happy and she will get over our age difference. lol
Thoughts on my 62nd birthday
People often say "I'm not in a good place right now", usually meaning that something has brought them down temporarily. Seldom is it a reflection of their entire life status; however, in my case, it is, sadly. I'm writing this on my 62 birthday, documenting where my life is today, in the hopes that this time next year things will be a whole lot better. Either that or I'll be dead, which is a good possibility as well.
I find myself alone, living in a place I loathe, as a result of yet another mistake with a woman. When I moved from Toronto I was full of such hope for the future. I was in love and believed that I would again be part of a family, which I missed so much. Things took a tragic turn and I found myself alone in a strange city, trapped by circumstances. I longed to be anywhere else but London and obviously regretted leaving Toronto and, even more, missed being out West where I was truly happy.
Through living in a rooming house, to sleeping on the floor of a colleague's office, to ending up in shelters, to an apartment I could not possibly afford, to finally getting into public housing, it has been a long and stressful road. Laying on my filthy bed in the shelter in oppressive heat, afraid for my very life, surrounded by the lowest of society, I knew I had hit rock bottom. Those were very dark days. Although I appreciate my little apartment I face the daily struggle of trying to get enough food to survive on the measly amount I get from assistance. The little things that I have always enjoyed in my life, like having a beer, playing pool, even a meal out at McDonald's are out of the question when there is no money. I have probably applied for at least five hundred jobs over the last few months, with no luck. I have done research on many companies and sent proposals out, again, with no response. I firmly believe that my age is against me and there is nothing I can do to change that. The economy is in the dumps and finding any kind of job, especially in a depressed area like London, is virtually impossible.
I long to return to the Okanagam and I apply for every conceivable job I see in the area. I have limited funding to help me to relocate if I can find a job, but this has not proved successful either. I came close with a perfect job, covering Kelowna north and the island, but was not selected for a final interview, despite being perfectly qualified for the position. I let myself get excited and put everything in place to be able to leave immediately, which only served to bring me down when I didn't get the job.
My family situation is unchanged and still a mess. A tiny glimmer of hope is that my son has reconnected through Facebook; however, his life is as much a mess as mine and he doesn't want to let me back into his life beyond these messages. My daughter has completely shut me out of her life, ever since I drove across the country to see her and she was hidden away from me. So cruel! I have never understood why she shut me out of her life and it's a knife in my heart every single day. Having lost my mother and father I am left with no immediate family, something I have always cherished.
My health is a disaster. I was always so happy that I was physically active and healthy. Whether I was busy renovating or climbing a mountain, I had tons of stamina and could do almost anything. Today my heath is in ruins, mostly because of my diabetes. I have put on thirty pounds, which has resulted in acid reflux and many other problems. I have no energy and sleep more than I ever have in my life. My feet are painful and swollen and I can barely walk. My shoulder, which has yet to be diagnosed properly, is painful and I have very limited mobility. My toes are so painful that I can't sleep. I tire easily and can't exert the smallest physical energy without resting. I feel so very old, for the first time in my life.
There is no one special in my life in the romance department. I have lost touch with all of my friends from out west and I don't know anyone in London. After forty-five years I have reconnected with the mother of my other son and she has been a great help. She has come to London and got me out of my apartment and done things with me that I haven't done in a very long time. She has most graciously paid for everything, something that makes me feel very guilty. I have always been the one to pay and it just reminds me how pathetic my life has become that I am a pauper. I have always been a hopeless romantic and I miss being in love. I think to find someone you need to first feel good about yourself and I certainly don't.
Regardless of what a mess I'm in right now, I hope that some luck comes my way and I can get back to the person I used to be. I think that this will only happen if I find a way to get back out west, but this may only be a dream. They say you can't go back and maybe that's true. I am hopeful I can reconnect with some of my good friends, but it may have already been too long being apart. It also takes money to live in Kelowna and it will very much depend on my financial circumstances. Living on assistance in Kelowna, even if that were possible, would be just as bad as here. I will not give up on my dream to get back there before I die, but short of winning a lottery, it will be an uphill battle. No matter what, my life will be much different if I get back. There won't be any boats or dirt bikes or snowmobiles and my life will be much different. One of my passions for years was to dance at the Corral, but my feet would make that impossible right now. Hopefully if I can lose the weight and get my diabetes under better control I may dance again.
I pray that I can write a much better story on my next birthday. If nothing has changed by then I will simply not survive.
A really cheap meal
One box of Loblaws' Butcher's Choice burgers (very tasty) on sale for $4.99 for box of eight. D'Italiano Crustini buns, on sale for $2.77 for pack of eight. Cheese slice, Kraft singles on sale for $2.00, bit of mustard and mayo. Splurge on dill pickles, $2.97 for a small bottle of sliced. Dinner for eight nights, although not a lot of variety. less than $1.50 a meal! If you can do without bread or milk for a couple of days, you can mix it up with bacon, No Name on sale for $2.99, or exotic things like mushrooms. What you can't afford is fresh vegetables like lettuce, tomatoes or onions because these have gone up 18% in the last year, with no increase in the food allowance from welfare.
* all prices quoted are from Adrian's No Frills in the Argyle Mall.
If you live in the London area Doris Family Produce at the Covent Garden Market sells a nifty little bag of prepared carrots and cele