Costa Rica or Bust
September 29th, 2012
It was that time again. Three months since my last "out of the country" trip required for my tourist visa. The friend I had gone with before, LizAnne, had just received her pensionado visa, so she didn't need to leave the country again. I really didn't want to go and spend four days sitting in a room by myself at the hostel in Sabalito.
I was also very worried, with the new immigration laws in Panama, that I might have problems coming back into Panama and would be lost without the language skills. I thought of going to Puerto Viejo this time, just to check it out for my websites, and my friend, Magaly, wanted to come along. Having no money (another story) I decided to get creative and I emailed a number of hotels in the area, offering to do a story for our website. One, Banana Azul Guest House, offered me a special rate of $25 a night, much less than the normal $79, so we booked three nights.
Did lots of research on the various bus schedules, David to Changuinola, then to the border, then to Puerto Viejo and we were heading off early Thursday morning. My worker guy, Amilkar, suggested we rent a car and he would drive us to the border, and possibly all the way to Puerto Viejo if he could get the car into Costa Rica. It would only cost us $15 more than the bus, so that sounded like a good deal. He was to take the bus to David early to get the car and then pick us up around nine. As usual with Amilkar, he didn't show up until 10:00, and we were off.
He said he knew a "shortcut" going to Caldera and then connecting with the highway to Bocas, which would "save us" an hour or more. The word "shortcut" is always dubious, and this turned out to be true. We ended up on roads that a four by would find challenging, so we ended up crawling along, trying to avoid the huge rocks that would rip the bottom of the little Toyota off. No time saved at all, although much more adventurous.
We took the turn-off for the highway to Changuinola and this relatively new highway is beautiful, except for the oh so scary old railway bridge you need to cross. They are building a new one right beside it. Not a moment too soon. We crawled across the broken wood pieces, worried the wheels were going to drop into any one of the large gaps.
We finally made Changuinola around four something, Panama time and headed to Panama immigration. The last time I had entered Panama it was on a Sunday and there was nowhere open to buy the necessary stamps, so the border official had just initialed my passport. At the time I remember wondering if this might be a problem for me if I got stopped for ID in Panama. It was now!
We stood in the stifling heat for an hour, watching the frenzied officials run back and forth between offices, on the phone and in heated discussions about what we were going to do. Finally they got it sorted out, with much help from Magaly, and let me pass.
The bridge between Panama and Costa Rica is beyond description. This old railway bridge is literally falling down around you and even walking across is an adventure. It's hard to believe big tractor trailer trucks use it. When a truck comes across you have to do your best to get out of the way or be killed.
We got to Costa Rican immigration and filled out our forms to enter the country. Magaly handed my passport to them and they did their thing, then stamped it. As soon as she handed her documents to the official I saw him shaking his head back and forth and knew this was not good. Although her documents were perfectly valid in Panama, the customs guy would not accept them for Costa Rica. This sent us into panic mode. We had no idea what to do. Magaly was obviously upset, but she said she had no choice but to return with Amilkar to Boquete and not go.
Just then a guy who had been watching all this came up and, in perfect English, suggested he might be able to help. I knew this would come at a price, so I asked how much. One of the best lines I've heard from anyone was when he said, "open your heart". lol. I said my heart said twenty bucks, so he said to go to a restaurant and come back in an hour when his boss had gone home.
We spent a very worrisome hour going over all the options, finally deciding, out of desperation, that we would just continue on and take our chances at getting stopped. Even if we got stopped I simply suggested that we had stopped at customs and, for whatever reason, the official had forgotten to stamp her documents. Bad plan, I know, but we were desperate.
I sent Amilkar back to the border to see what was happening and he phoned me and told me to come to customs. Her documents were all ready to go, magically, after paying the ridiculous bribe of $40 of course. $20 for him and $20 for the customs guy.
So now we went looking for the bus to Puerto Viejo, which I knew cost about three dollars each. We asked at the restaurant where we catch the bus and they directed us to the bus terminal. A guy standing nearby at the restaurant said we had missed the last bus, which had left at 4:00. Obviously upset at more problems, we thought we should go to the depot to check this out for ourselves.
When we got to the terminal another guy said the next bus was at 6:00, which meant about a half hour wait, but at least we could get a bus. Then yet another guy reminded us that Costa Rica was an hour behind, so that meant we had to wait an hour and a half. Not great, but at least we could take the bus as planned. So we said our goodbyes to our friends, and prepared to wait by the parked bus.
A few minutes later I guy came up to us and asked what we were waiting for? When we said the bus to Puerto Viejo, he laughed and said we would be waiting a long time, because the next bus wasn't until the next day! Naturally he was a taxi driver, who offered to take us for the princely sum of $40!!! By this point we were growing ever more frustrated, and we had no real choice, so we loaded into his taxi.
No sooner had we traveled a few hundred meters down the road than the driver slowed for the police check. Magaly and I quickly realized how foolish it would have been to not have her documents correct. Had we not done this and taken our chances, not only would she be sent back, but Amilkar was gone. I told the driver we were staying at Banana Azul and he said nothing, so I assumed he knew where I meant. We hit Puerto Viejo and he pulled up in front of Casa Verde and stopped. When we asked what were we doing here, he said that is where we said. When I said, no, I had clearly said Banana Azul, he had no idea where that was. We stopped to ask someone and soon discovered it was twenty minutes back out of town.
When we finally made it to the hotel, hours after we planned to arrive, the only good thing that happened was that we were greeted warmly. I gave them the briefest of details on how challenging it had been to get here and the first thing I said was now I didn't have enough money to pay for our hotel when we arrived, as I had promised. They said not to worry. Go put our bags in the room and come down for a drink.
With all the problems we had that day neither of us had eaten a thing, so we were starving. We dropped our bags and headed to the restaurant/bar. Michel came up and said, on behalf of the hotel they would like to offer us a free drink of our choice. We met Franklin, the bar tender extraordinaire, who made us two of the best drinks I have ever had in my life. We then had an amazing meal, Cordon Bleu with vegetables to die for. This was obviously a very expensive place and we had no idea what the meals cost, but we were so frazzled we didn't much care at that point. We later learned it was $10, which was a bargain for such an amazing meal.
After more drinks and a fantastic meal we headed up to our room. The room was amazing, with an incredible attention to detail. Photos and knick-knacks and beautiful hand laid tiles in the bathroom and plants and hand crafted wood furniture. It was completely open to the outside, which made me wonder about insects. In researching hotels in the area they all made mention of mosquito nets, but our room didn't have one. Turned out we didn't need one and we slept like babies with the doors wide open and the ocean breeze and the sounds of the waves.
We awoke early to the sounds of light rain on the roof. It soon stopped and it's amazing how quickly it turned warm. We showered and headed down to the restaurant and had a delicious breakfast - real bacon (one of the owners is Canadian, so naturally bacon is high on his list), homemade tostada and excellent fried potatoes with peppers and onions. A great start to a "new" day.
We headed off down the beach on the twenty-five minute walk to town and wandered around checking out the town. There was nowhere to get colones in Panama, so we stopped at the Bank of Costa Rica to exchange our dollars. I wish I had taken this opportunity to check that my debit card worked as my bank, HSBC, had told me it would.
We stopped at Might Rivers for ice cream and met Lealea, the owner. We had delicious chocolate ice cream in waffle cones and shared some great conversation with her. She mentioned that because Costa Rica was so expensive she traveled over to Panama "all the time" to shop for groceries. When I said that must be such a pain going through immigration all the time, she said, no, she just walks across the bridge and never stops. The only time she does stop is, like me, when she is doing her Costa Rica/Panama three month trip. I had to wonder at spending my $40 now for Magaly, if Lealea just goes back and forth all the time! Crazy!
Headed back to the hotel, showered and changed for dinner. Michel had told us that there was an excellent steak house run by Argentinians where you could get an actual USDA steak. We weren't sure about walking the beach at night, but Roberto told us all we needed was a flashlight, which, of course, we didn't have and the hotel was out of them too. Magaly showed me that her amazing little phone had a flashlight, so we headed off. We remembered from our walk down during the day that there were a number of little streams we had to cross, but Roberto assured us it was low tide and we should only have one "small" one to cross.
We fumbled along in the dark and eventually came to the "small" stream. It was not so small. I had to take a run at it and jump over and barely made it. Magaly wasn't so sure she could make it and it was quite comical to watch her count down one, two, three and not actually jump. Eventually she took off her shoes and waded across.
We found the restaurant and I had my very first real steak in eight months. We each got two bacon wrapped filet mignons, cooked to perfection. We started with salads that came with a most unique and tasty homemade dressing. Fresh warm bread. Two very good drinks. Pricey at 27,000 calones, but worth it, and everything in Costa Rica is pricey.
After dinner we wandered around town, taking in the nightlife. Lots of open air bars with great music playing, some of it live. I had a craving for chocolate and we remembered going by a place called "Bread and Chocolate" so we attempted to find it. As we got there they were just closing the door, but the guy said we could still buy something to go. I got the best piece of chocolate cake I have eaten in my life, and Magaly got a brownie that she said was equally amazing. About 4,000 calones for both.
Earlier we had gotten the phone number for a "taxi" guy who agreed to only charge us $3 for the ride to the hotel, as opposed to the $4 everyone else charged. We quickly discovered that Magaly's phone didn't work in Costa Rica, as she had been told it would, so we had to take another taxi from the taxi stand in town.
Magaly had been receiving numerous text messages from her kids back in Boquete, but for some unknown reason, she couldn't send them replies. When we got back to the hotel I thought I would try my Skype and it said the messages were sent okay, but the kids never got them. Frustrating!
The next day, Saturday, our first task was to head to the bank to get more money, then we were heading off to Punta Uva, a beach we were told was very secluded and perfect for swimming and snorkeling. Our driver stopped at BCR and I went into the ATM. My card didn't work and all we got was some cryptic message in Spanish that even Magaly couldn't understand. We had passed this huge line of people waiting to get into the actual bank, I thought, and we knew we would be standing there for at least an hour before getting into the bank. I asked the driver to go and check with the security guy that my card would work in the bank and he said yes.
After standing in the hot sun for an hour we finally got close to the door. I could not figure out why they only let one person in at a time and wondered why only one staff would be working on a Saturday. As we got close to the door I saw the sign on the door that they closed at noon, and it was a few minutes to noon. I could only envision that, after standing there for an hour, they were now going to close in front of us. The security guard soon started handing out numbers to the people in line, so this looked promising.
It was finally our turn and we entered what we thought was the bank, but it was only one teller in a small cage. I handed him my debit card and he immediately said "no". After an hour I was in no mood to hear "no". I showed him the symbol on my card, which was the same one as on the bank, but he said this only worked for Visa, which I did not have. I tried to suppress my growing anger and explained to him that we had asked the security guy, an HOUR ago, if the card worked and he had said yes. Didn't matter at all to this guy and he simply repeated the "no".
Now we were in real trouble. I did not have enough money with me because it is never smart to travel anywhere with a lot of cash and my bank in Panama had assured me that my card would work. I called Michel at the hotel and explained my predicament. He said to come back to the hotel and we would figure something out. I was hoping that Michel would allow me to write him a cheque and give me the cash.
Just before we had left for Costa Rica I had changed my PayPal account to my prepaid MasterCard from my now defunct bank account. Michel suggested he could use PayPal to make a payment to the hotel and then give me the cash. I had no idea how much money was left on my card but tried to get something on it. To my considerable surprise it worked! We could still eat!
So we headed back to town, intending to rent a scooter for the day. We figured we would go out to Punta Uva for some beach time, the go back to the hotel to shower and change, then head into town for dinner and back. We wouldn't need to return the scooter until mid day the next day, so we could make a lot of use out of it to travel around and save a lot in taxi fares in the process.
The driver took us to the scooter rental place and I asked Magaly to check exactly what they needed to rent a scooter. After the fiasco at the bank I just was expecting problems now. She came back saying just a credit card, so we paid our driver. Smart man. Luckily he didn't leave us.
I handed the girl my card and she immediately told me it was no good, because it didn't have the raised lettering. I explained that I did not want to charge the rental to the card; I would pay cash. No good. She said she needed the raised lettering to run it through the machine. I explained she had the numbers and the ID from the back of the card and if we took with her damned scooter she could charge the card. No good.
By now I was losing my patience with Costa Rica and all the challenges we had already. I asked her why people in Costa Rica made it so damned difficult for tourists? Her answer? "Well, if you don't like it maybe you need to go to another country." The Puerto Viejo tourist board would just LOVE her attitude!
Thankfully we saw our taxi driver sitting across the road, waiting to see that we were okay, which we were not. We asked him to take us part way out to Punta Uva and drop us off and we would walk the rest of the way. He showed us where he would drop us off and that it would be about an hour walk from there.
Despite wearing my 45 sunblock the previous day Magaly has gotten a bit of a burn on her shoulders, so we thought walking the beach for an hour in the blazing sun was probably not a good idea, so we headed down the road. We had been told there was a trail through the jungle beside the road, but, of course, there was no trail. There was almost no shade on the road, so it was not good for Magaly's burn. We managed to find a store along the way where I bought her a sun umbrella, so that was better for her. We asked where this trail was and were told to turn at the Internet place.
We walled and we walked and we walked, forever, but finally came upon this little grass shack in the middle of nowhere with a sign that read "Internet". The trail was right across the road and it lead down to the beach. Although there was little more shade available there, it was the most beautiful beach I have ever seen. We walked and we walked and we walked. I thought we would soon be back in Panama, it was so far, but we eventually, two hours later, came upon Punta Uva. There are no words to describe how amazingly gorgeous this beach was.
We were starving and knew there were two restaurants at Punta Uva. We came to the first one, which was so beautiful, with little private thatched huts with one table. We were greeted by Pancho who made us two more amazing tropical drinks and brought us the menu. There was so much to choose from. We decided on salads and hamburgers.
When they brought the salads, the presentation was just amazing. The large square bowls were filled to overflowing with excellent greens and they had placed little flowers around the outside of the bowls. They were delicious.
The cheeseburgers were equally amazing. They were huge and were on the most unique tasting bun, more like a pita bread than a simple bun. They came with the most delicious, obviously homemade, fries. We finished off with chocolate sundaes, which were the only small disappointment because the ice cream had bits of ice in it, no doubt because it is a challenge to keep ice cream in this climate.
When we talked to Pancho about our web site he had Mark, the owner come over and talk to us. He told us they had only been open about a month and a half, and offered to email me some more info for our site. We had also been served by the lovely Anna, who wandered around in her bare feet serving people. All so very tropical. We had arranged with our driver to pick us up and the other restaurant at six, so we headed off to find it. Yet more walking, but we found it, had a Coke and headed down to wait on the beach. We enjoyed the most beautiful sunset. Our driver showed right at six and we went back to the hotel.
We fully intended to shower and change and head into town to see the nightlife on a Saturday in Puerto Viejo, but we laid down, just for a quick nap, and woke up the next morning. No doubt because of all the walking we had done and we were exhausted.
Sunday was by far the best day we had on our trip. We had originally planned to return to Panama on Sunday, but I realized we had not crossed until about 5:00 Panama time on Thursday, so I hadn't spent the required 72 hours out of the country. Although this had not been a problem when we returned through Rio Sereno, the challenges had at this border at Sixiola made me think we might have trouble. If they made me wait until 5:00 o'clock there was no way for us to get back to Boquete by bus at that hour. So, we decided to stay at least one more night and return on Monday.
We were enjoying our breakfast of pancakes with fruit, when Roberto came up and asked if we were interested in going on a tour he was organizing for the guests. First we would visit the sloth rescue center, the visit the "chocolate lady", then get to swim in a mountain waterfall. It sounded good, so we said yes.
We left for the sloth rescue center at 10:30 and traveled for about forty-five minutes up towards Limon. The most amazing part of the trip was that, after traveling the mostly four by four roads in the area, we were on a perfect paved highway most of the way. We didn't think any such thing existed in Costa Rica.
Although the presentation was a little long, and it annoyed me that it was only in English, even the movie, which meant Magaly hardly understood a word, it was interesting. We especially enjoyed seeing the babies. They were all so darned cute!
From there we headed up towards Bribri to visit the "chocolate lady". She was quite the treat herself, taking us to see the cocoa tree on the property, then giving us a demonstration of all the steps required to end up with chocolate from the fruit. She only spoke Spanish, but a girl who I assume was her daughter, spoke perfect English and translated as her Mum spoke. At the end of her demonstration they offered us a chance to taste a wide variety of different flavors of chocolate, some pretty strange, like pepper chocolate. Naturally they had lots of product for sale, but, as much as I like chocolate, the thought of it melting in the van stopped me from getting any. In her own cute way Magaly had been giving me or denying me permission for chocolate anything on the trip, and the frown on her face told me I best not buy any anyway.
From there we headed further up the mountain, past Bribri, where we stopped for some much needed junk food, at my request because I was starving. We parked the van and started up the mountain. It was a most arduous journey as we crossed back and forth across the river, stepping on slime covered rocks and doing our best not to fall in. Three of our group didn't manage to avoid falling in, and one guy watched his camera disappear down the river. The trail grew ever more slippery and steep and it was incredible that no one bought it on the way up.
Yet one more crossing and the waterfall came into sight. Again, no words can explain how gorgeous it was. Everyone quickly stripped off down to their suits and headed into the pond beneath the waterfall. Even this was a challenge as the water was way over your head and we had to shimmy down a slime covered tree laying in the crevice between the rock walls to get to the waterfall.
Stupid me, when I reached the waterfall I jumped into it, not realizing that the water was cascading down several hundred feet from above. It hit my body like so many pieces of concrete. It was an instant full body massage. Not painful, but very intense, to say the least.
The trip down was a little better and this time no one managed to fall in. It all took a couple of hours to to the trip, but worth every second of it. An experience I will never forget.
We had been told to try the bank in Bribri, the National Bank, so our driver graciously agreed to stop for me. No luck though, as we only got yet another cryptic message that even he couldn't understand. I was growing more panicky as we had no way to pay our hotel bill, but neither bank had worked, so we didn't quite know what to do. Washing dishes for a very long time came to mind, although we certainly would not mind staying longer at the hotel. lol
Monday we planned to have one full day just lying on the beach at Punta Uva, just to try to avoid any more problems, get some sun and totally relax our last day, to be ready for no doubt yet more challenges on the trip back to Panama. I talked to some of the other guests and a couple agreed to share the taxi with us to Punta Uva.
It turned out that two of them had forgotten that they were scheduled to go rafting and had left leaving their apologies. Skylar also said he was going to grab a bike from the hotel and go into town, so we ended up going alone. On the tourist guide map for Puerto Viejo it showed that the Punta Uva lounge was closed on Mondays, so we were glad we had planned the trip for Tuesday.
When we mentioned to a girl at the desk how much it was to get to Punta Uva, she said she had a friend who ran an actual legitimate cab with an actual meter. We soon met Kale, who drove a clean new four by with air! When we got to Punta Uva the meter read 4,500 calones, about $9, much cheaper than the private guys. We made arrangements with him to pick us back up at 4:00 o'clock. He said he had to go to Limon, but he should be back. If not he would get his partner to pick us up.
We had borrowed some beach chairs from the hotel and set them up in the shade. We laid our towels out in the sun, intending to catch some rays later, then go for a swim. Not an hour later the sky started looking very threatening. We laid down on our towels and were glistening in minutes. It was so hot and the sun was so intense. Just as we planned to go into the water there were some lightening strikes and the sky looked even more threatening. We decided it was best to avoid going into the water and headed up to the restaurant, which, of course, was closed. Can't win for trying.
One of the locals explained that there had been several events planned for the area on Mondays, so the restaurants had all decided to close on Tuesdays instead. GGGrrrrrrr! She said one might be open, the one we had stopped at before, so off we headed for yet more walking. After the challenging climb the day before, neither of us were in the mood for yet more walking, but we were starving.
To our considerable delight the restaurant WAS open. Yippee! We had one of the best meals ever there. Huge salad and had the penne and Magaly had a chicken sandwich. We were stuffed.
The sky had opened up and it looked like it was only going to rain all day now, so we had the restaurant call Kale to see if he could come early. He was still in Limon but would send someone else. It turned out to be a private guy, who, once we got back to the hotel, tells me it's 7,000 calones, about $14. I protested, informing him that we only paid 4,500 calones to go in the other direction. No good. He wanted his $14. More ggrrrrr.
Can't remember which night it was now, but one night we had gone into town to eat at Chilly Rojos, a place that had been recommended to us by the hotel. It was a fun place, absolutely packed but the owner offered us a drink at the bar while we waited, which was about two minutes. We enjoyed an excellent meal of chicken falafel. Very tasty and not too expensive. Only about $10 for both of us, minus the not so good drinks. Small and bar mix.
When we had first booked the hotel Colin had said we could stay in the Ocean View room, up on the second floor for one night, but we would have to move for the next two nights, into the sloth rooms, which were in the separate, original house. To our delight after the first night they said they had managed to reorganize and we could stay in the same room.
When we decided to stay another two nights they didn't have room at the hotel, but Michel gave us the "little house" which was where he had lived when he first came here from Montreal, and which was just a short walk down the road. It had a bedroom and a kitchen, which meant we could now cook and avoid the expense of eating out. It was a very cute, very Costa Rican house with a thatched roof and a separate building with a suicide shower and a separate toilet room. All very quaint.
Monday we had gone into town and shopped for dinner and breakfast stuff - bread and coffee and juice. That night we cooked together for the first time. The hamburger had looked a little dubious at the market, more gray than pink, so we had bought frozen patties. We had hamburger with my special mushrooms, fried potatoes with onion and delicious fresh green beans. Felt like we were married and in our own place. Fine with me!
Much to our regret we had to leave on Wednesday. We had arranged for Kale to pick us up at the hotel at 8:00 o'clock to get us to the bus which left at 8:30. We were up at six and ready early so we headed to the hotel to pay our bill, hopefully, and have one last breakfast at the hotel. Michel most graciously agreed to let me write a cheque, so that wasn't a problem. The problem is only that I barely have the money to cover it, but that's yet another story.
After the expense of getting here we were pleased that the bus to the border was only 1,500 calones, $3 each - a whole lot better than the $40 cab ride here. It took just over an hour to reach the border at Sixiola. Just before we got there I reached into my pocket and found the keys for the little house. I thought I remembered Michel saying they only had one set, so I panicked at what to do to get them back to him. I asked a taxi at the border if he would take them back, but of course he didn't know if he would have a fare or not that day. Our ever so helpful "guide" at the border suggested he would take them to the bus driver who could leave them at the ticket office in Puerto Viejo for someone from the hotel to pick up. This came with a price, naturally. He wanted the equivalent of $10, but he got what change I had left on me, about $4.
We were in and out of Costa Rica customs in minutes, walked back across the bridge and stopped at Panama customs. I had this lump in my throat and could almost feel myself shaking at what might happen, with the new law and all the challenges we had the first time crossing. I was dealing with moving and watching our luggage so Magaly took my passport in. Except for not having change to pay my $5 fee, everything went smooth, to my considerable relief. I should learned by now that this only meant something bad was about to happen.
We asked where we caught the bus to Changuinola to get the bus back to David and were quickly informed that there was a strike on and there were no buses running between Changuinola and David. There was a guy with a van who would take us to Almirante instead and we could get a bus from there to David. Instead of the $3 naturally it was $10 a piece instead. We had no real choice so we piled into the van with a whole lot of other people.
When we got to Almirante we were surprised to see a gorgeous highway coach sitting there, the kind with air and a washroom and comfortable seats. I just knew it couldn't be ours, but it was! For the very first time on this whole trip I was pleasantly surprised, because the fare to David was only $7! A true bargain compared to everything we had been experiencing the last six days in Costa Rica.
We had planned to catch the bus back to Boquete, but quickly realized we would need to pay extra fares for all our luggage. I suggested we see if we could possibly find a cab who would give us a good price. We got off the bus and Magaly approached a taxi, who agreed to take me to my place, then Magaly to hers, for $15, not much more than bus fare and then taxi fares back in Boquete.
We got home around three, exhausted, totally broke, but happy to be back in Boquete. I was welcomed home by even more problems with the house, but I won't go into that here.
Just had to post this old email from February 2009
Just when you think it can't possibly get any worse, Boquete has been experiencing unusually high winds and driving sheets of rain, something unheard of at this time of year - normally the "dry season". The river has again flooded and the gale-force winds have brought trees down everywhere, disrupting services like water and power.
Here at Casa Hell, Vista Grande, the driving rains caused flooding of the ceilings and walls in my apartment, leaving pools of water on the floor. The winds blew out the pilot on the hot water tank, so we had no hot water, just as I was about to take a much needed shower. Even though I had no idea how I would manage to get down to relight the pilot with my surgery, I was going to try. Then the water went out completely. Apparently trees had come down on the water line somewhere and they had no idea when it would be repaired. To switch to our backup tank I have to climb up on a ledge to open the valves, something I could not possibly do without opening my stitches up, so I started texting my faithful worker to come and change it over, but got no response.
I laid back down to watch TV until I could get a hold of him and the winds took the satellite out, leaving me with no TV. By now it was early evening and I was beginning to panic not being able to get a hold of my worker. As hard as it is to sit up and work, my computer was all I had, so I thought I would try. Then the power went out. Just as I was about to go crazy with all this, the police showed up. Despite my telling my tenant to please lock the gates, he had left them wide open, so the police just walked in. I did not understand what they wanted, but it has something to do with my expired visa and they are coming back today. No idea what might happen out of this one, and it worried me that the officer sounded so serious, especially when I did not understand him. I am worried enough that it might be that I am in the country illegally, but now I am also worried it might be about my unpaid hospital bill. I don't know how they deal with that kind of thing in Panama. I have no money to pay it, so there is nothing I can do if they are going to arrest me over it. I had given my bank card to my friend, Magaly, to see if I have any money left for food or meds, but she called me to tell me all the bank machines in Boquete are down. Just keeps getting better and better.
So I am left with no money, no water, no power, no TV, totally panicked about what the police want and no one to help. I called SKY TV this morning and they say it might be up to three days before they can come and restore our service. My worker finally showed up, telling me he had no charger for his phone and that is why he didn't respond. He also has lost his truck because it needed hundreds of dollars of repairs he can't afford, so he can't do much to help me.
I am hesitant to even ask if it could get any worse because just when I think it can't, sure enough, it does.
I hope you are having a much better life.
The Truth and Nothing But The Truth
The few people who know this story have all encouraged me to write a book about it. Now that I'm off on medical leave, in part because of the stress this situation has caused me and how helpless I feel, I thought it might be time to lay it all out. Part therapy just to vent, but maybe someone, somewhere will read it and learn from it and avoid the mistakes I've made.
There are many idiots in this story, not the least of which is me, but the point is to show just how messed up your life can be if you make just one fatal mistake. It's about getting caught up in a system that's incompetent at the least and filled with frustration at not being able to get anyone to pay attention to your plight. No matter what you think you know, you don't have a clue what it's really like unless you have experienced it first hand. Right from the start many people have said they could not believe things could ever get this bad, but they did.
Up until I started to work for the lift-truck division of American Hoist I had had a number of unmemorable jobs, starting with the TD Bank right out of school. I worked hard to support my family and kept my nose clean. I was working for Able Plastics, a company that extruded foam and I was caught between the husband and wife owner battles on a daily basis. I saw a small ad that TCM was looking for an Administrator of sorts. I met with Gerry Waterhouse, the GM and he hired me on the spot. At this point the company was very much in start-up and had done about two hundred thousand dollars of business. They were housed in a very small warehouse unit, but were expecting a very large order of trucks from Japan. My first job was to find us bigger space. I found a building for lease on Davidson road and spent the next few days negotiating a lease with Rod Rice of Rice Construction. The building was empty so we took possession and built some offices we needed and spruced the place up a bit. It was perfect and we moved in right away.
Business got very crazy very quickly. Our line of trucks was very well received in Canada and our dealer network grew rapidly. Part of my job was to order trucks based on our forecasts, which was tricky because we were looking at three month lead times. I setup a visual planning board which worked really well because I not only knew what was coming and when but also who it was sold to. This allowed the dealers to not only plan sales but also their important rental equipment.
Another part of my job, with my assistant, Betty White, was the preparation of what we called Floor Plan contracts. This gave the dealer up to ninety days interest free to pay for the trucks, unless they sold them ahead of time, in which case payment was due in thirty days. The contracts were sent over to American Hoist's Head Office for signing and sending out to the dealers, then keeping track of the status on each truck. I had volunteered to handle this part after the contracts were signed because I knew the credit limits of the dealers and spoke to them on a daily basis so I would know about sales and units assigned for rental. It only made sense because I needed to know what was in their inventory to better project their needs. Head Office refused and wanted to keep it in-house with them.
The trouble started when I started getting phone calls from our more responsible dealers telling me that they had been calling and calling our Head Office to find out what the pay-out was on a truck they had sold. This then led to me finding out that none of the dealers had ever received a single contract from us! I immediately scheduled a meeting with Head Office to ask what was going on. I met with our controller who showed me a huge stack of contracts that he "hadn't got around to yet". I asked how he knew what trucks were at the dealers; what ones they had sold and what ones were on rental and, most importantly, how much the dealer owed us? He "hadn't had time to setup a system yet". He basically blew me off and told me not to worry about it and just go sell more trucks.
Before I knew it we had sold six million dollars of trucks to our dealers, but still had no clue where the trucks were or how much the dealers owed us. I saw it as a house of cards that was soon going to collapse. Just one dealer taking the money and shutting down would bring us down. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I got a call saying that the load had shifted on the next ship and all the trucks, $187,000 worth, were saltwater damaged and could not be sold. I contacted our insurance agent and setup a meeting with him to view the trucks when they arrived. I was busy scrambling to place another order when Terry, our Service Manager came in to tell me the damaged shipment had arrived. He commented that, in his opinion, they weren't all that damaged and maybe we could figure out a way to make some money here. I really never thought much about it or really understood what he meant. I wish I had.
The shipment was stored in a closed off compound at the back of our lot. I met with the insurance agent and appraiser and they both agreed that because these trucks were, in essence, "vehicles" there were all kinds of safety guidelines with using them and, because we could not see any hidden damages, the trucks were not to be used and the insurance would pay for the entire shipment, in full. We had to sign documents stating that we understood that the trucks could not be sold as original equipment and we were to have all the material scrapped. Again Terry hinted that it was a shame to see all those valuable parts go to a scrap yard when they were worth a lot of money in his opinion.
A few days later Sam Osmond, our dealer in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia suddenly showed up at our office. I assumed later that Terry had called him to come and look at the "parts" we had in the yard. Terry sent Sam up to me to see if he could buy the shipment. I explained to Sam that we had been paid in full for the shipment and ordered to scrap the entire shipment. There was simply no way that he could buy something that American Hoist no longer owned and had signed off on. As usual with any dealer who visited us, we took Sam out for dinner and drinks. Sam had apparently talked to Gerry and Terry and they had agreed to sell the shipment to Sam for $30,000 cash. Not only did this not feel legal I knew Sam and he was going to sell some of the trucks complete, which could get us in a heap of trouble if there was ever an accident. After much talk and way too many drinks, it looked like I was part of it whether I liked it or not. I rationalized that American Hoist had been paid in full, so they lost nothing. We couldn't do anything other than send them to the scrap yard because American Hoist could not possibly sell them, so it all made sense to me.
When it came to who was going to collect the cash, of course Terry hid in the shop and wouldn't even talk to us. Gerry explained that his absence would be too noticeable, but I could go there under the guise of auditing his lift truck inventory, which no one would question. Being incredibly naive at the time I didn't think about the plane ticket, the hotel receipts or charges to my credit card. Not too bright, I know. I returned with the money and divided it between the three of us. Mine went into my freezer and we always laughingly referred to it as our "cold hard cash". We never did anything special with it really; just paid bills when we were short. Before long it was gone and forgotten.
Knowing that it was only a matter of time before this house of cards collapsed and we were out of work, we started planning our Plan B. Obviously our contracts prevented us from having any discussions with TCM even though we knew they would suffer in the long run when we collapsed. We started researching other companies who had reputable equipment and settled on a company called NYK. As with any major equipment from overseas it's a chicken and egg situation. Dealers need to place orders for the manufacturer to believe there is a market and agree to give you the distributorship for Canada. First we made contact with NYK and expressed interest in taking on the line for Canada. We were invited to a meeting in Chicago. Next, and hugely important to our success, we met with the Bank of Nova Scotia to discuss floor plan financing. It just so happened that our timing was perfect because they were looking to get into heavy equipment financing. They offered a six month interest free floor plan, plus they agreed to give us a line of credit for the first shipment which we estimated at $250k. Next we invited all our potential dealers to a meeting in Caledon, where we wined and dined them, giving each of them a loft suite. The next day I gave them a very complete and effective sales presentation on the NYK line in other parts of the world. They were already hollering out "where do I sign" when I introduced the rep from BNS. The financing plan completely blew them away and they couldn't give me the orders fast enough. We sold out most of the planned original shipment in one day!
Orders in hand, all financed, we jumped on a plane to Chicago for our meeting with NYK. I'll freely admit we were both feeling a little cocky after all this unexpected early success, but we both felt confident that NYK could not refuse us the rights to Canada. I had already drawn up a distribution contract based on the TCM contract with American Hoist, and, most importantly from our experience with the Japanese with TCM we knew how they do business. It is vastly different from how we do business in North America, so we knew how to approach the negotiations. I still remember as the plane was about to land in Chicago I asked Gerry what we should say our company name was. He asked me what I thought and I said I liked "Canada Lift". He agreed and our company was born. (Sidebar - years later, after I had let our name registration lapse, I learned that Coca-cola had applied for the name for a new drink they were planning. We could have been rich!)
We stayed at the Chicago Ohare Hilton only because it was right across from the airport, one of the craziest in the world to get around. As soon as we got settled we called our contact for directions to their office. After all the bowing and introductions we got down to business. We knew how proud a people they are so instead of hitting them over the head aggressively as most North American business people do, we let them have control over the meeting to honor them, knowing that we had an answer for every question they would pose. Some of it we frankly made up on the fly, like where was our warehouse (we didn't have one) and so on, but the big questions, like our national dealer network and, most importantly, our sales blew them away. They were shocked and impressed that we had such faith from our dealers in a product that they didn't even know. The contracts were signed and we had the distributor rights for Canada. We explained that we had the letter of credit in place from BNS, but they faxed our order to the factory before even getting any confirmation from the bank. Talk about faith!
After the meeting, again knowing how they operate, we were invited to dinner at the best Japanese restaurant in Chicago, on their nickel. I have no idea what the bill was for the six of us, but I'm guessing close to a thousand dollars at least. I don't remember the meal too well, but I do remember that I fell hopelessly in love with Sandy, one of our servers. She was blonde and gorgeous. I was feeling overly confident after the score we had just made with getting NYK, so I asked her if she had ever been to Japan? She said no, but added that she would like to go. Of course our Japanese friends were listening to every word and getting a real kick out of what was happening. They weren't too helpful when they suggested it would be a good idea for me to visit the factory now that we were their distributor in Canada, and they would pay for me to fly over. My thoughts were only on Sandy and not any fork-lift factory, but the flirting was becoming all too real. Gerry said she sounded serious and I should go. Finally, as our meal was wrapping up, she came over and very seriously said okay. She would go with me. She only worked at this restaurant this night of the week and she had a few days off. Gerry handed me his gold American Express card and said to go ahead. I deserved it for what I had pulled together with everything to get the distributorship. Airfare was $2400 each and I had his card, but I knew it had to be paid back and, as a new company we had a lot of upcoming expenses to cover. To fly off to Japan with this beauty, tempting as it was, didn't feel very responsible. I wondered what our Japanese colleagues would think of someone doing something this irrational. To my considerable regret I told her we couldn't go right now, but maybe in the future. I often wonder how my life might have changed had I gone. (Gerry reminded me later that you have to fly to LA first and then to Japan. For the cost of flights to LA I could have had a night with the girl of my dreams and then said we had to go back because I was needed in the business.)
Our business with the Japanese complete we said our good-byes and headed out of the restaurant. It was too early to go to bed and we were both on such a high we wanted to go somewhere for a drink. Next thing I know we are in a cab heading downtown. We had asked our driver to take us somewhere where we could hear that famous Chicago blues. He said he knew a great place. He let us out in front of the Black Cat club, which looked like a blues club and we headed on in. The first thing they did was ask us each for a credit card. When I questioned why they said it was only for ID purposes if the police showed up for any reason. That sounded strange, but we wanted into the club, so we both gave them our cards. (I can hear you smirking already) The club was unbelievably dark, but we were led down to a table close to the stage. Before we knew it we were surrounded by these gorgeous girls asking us to buy them a drink, and being, well, friendly to say the least. Our server comes over and asks if we would like to "buy a round"? We say sure and order beers for everyone. Every ten minutes or so our server comes over and asks if we would "like an other round". We were both very distracted by what the girls were doing and never really paid any attention to the growing number of beers on the tables.
At this point I should mention that we had a meeting at 10:00 o'clock in Philadelphia and an early flight at 8:00 to get there. It was now about five o'clock in the morning and we still had a half hour cab ride back to our hotel. By this point Gerry was almost passed out but my head told me we had to get out of there. I asked for our bills. There are simply no words to describe what happened next. The server brought our bills and I looked at mine in the dark haze, with my girl draped over me and saw the total - $540! This can't be right. How much is beer in the States? Seeing the look on my face, my girl asked if I understood how it works? After my obvious NO, she said a "round" was ten minutes with the girls and cost $60, NOT the beers I thought we were ordering. I quickly hollered at Gerry to come to the washroom to figure out what we were going to do. Of course he also had a bill for $540. Here we were in downtown Chicago, surrounded by all kinds of frightening characters and we had been played for fools. I suggested we get upset and tell the server no one told us what a "round" was or we would never have ordered any. We stumbled back to the table and called the server over. As things got a little heated I noticed a big black guy behind us reaching into his coat pocket for a gun. It didn't seem like a good time to argue. We had just signed the contract of our lives and I envisioned us being found in an alley, shot to death. Seemed like a very bad way to finish our trip. I told Gerry to just sign the bill and let's get out of here. I did the same, while protesting to my lovely companion. She said she felt sorry for me and said maybe there was a way should could make it up to me. When I said we were staying at the hotel at the airport she said she wanted to come, but she had no money for the cab. (Yeah, more snickering) I gave her $20 for the cab.
As we headed back to the hotel, fuming and angry at how we had been duped, I reminded Gerry that not only was it $540 each, but that was US funds. At the time the dollar was about .90 US, so the bill would be even higher. Our bills also went to our homes, so I wondered exactly what they would say on them. Our wives would have a fit when they opened the bills. How were we going to explain that? We got back to our hotel and were laying on our beds considering whether we should try to sleep at all or just get ready to leave. After a moment of silence I said "I don't think she's coming". Gerry laughed and said he didn't think his was coming either. We had been duped even more. We did make our meeting in Philadelphia, only I don't even remember what it was about. No wonder.
So we returned to Brampton, contracts in hand and started figuring out our next move. The shipment wasn't coming for a while, and most of it was sold anyway, so there wasn't really any urgency at the moment. As luck would have it the situation with the lack of contracts at American Hoist was becoming critical. They had no clue what was what and had not had a single payment from any dealer because they could not tell them what they owed, not to mention that nothing out there at the dealers was covered by a contract. Situation critical. It was decided that I would visit all of the dealers coast to coast to carry out a complete inventory of all stock; what was in inventory, what had been sold outright and what trucks were in the rental fleet. I started in Dartmouth on Monday and ended in Calgary on Friday. Dealers in the forklift business like to party and drink, so it was a hard week for me.
(Another sidebar to the story - on the flight from Dartmouth to Montreal there was a guy and a very beautiful girl sitting behind me. The guy was going on and on about how wonderful he was and she was answering him politely, but I could tell she wanted to be anywhere else than stuck beside this guy. As we left the plane I commented on how patient she was. She laughed and said he sure was a piece of work. As we went down to get our luggage I made some small talk, telling her why I was here and asking her what she was doing here. She said she was in Montreal to see her cousin. As we chatted I noticed that just about everyone from the flight had picked up there luggage and left. There was no sign of Barb's luggage or mine. I could not believe that the luggage Gods could be this good to me, but they were. After all the luggage had been picked up and everyone was gone there was still no sign of ours. We went down to the missing luggage office and filled out our claims. My dealer, Rene, was picking me up and as we were walking out to the car she asked him where her hotel was. He said it was on the way to my hotel and told her to jump in. During the ride to her hotel Rene said we were meeting with some of his staff and going out for dinner, and asked Barb if she had any plans. I could of kissed him. She hesitated for a moment, but then said she wasn't meeting her cousin until the next day, so she agreed to join us for dinner. Rene offered to come and pick her up later.
As we headed to my hotel Rene could not stop saying how beautiful she was and that he thought she liked me, which, given how hot she was, I didn't quite swallow. Later we had a wonderful dinner and when we got back to my hotel there was a night club across the lane from the hotel. I asked if she danced and she told me she LOVED to dance, so we headed in. She was an amazing dancer and we danced for hours. When it was time for her to go back to her hotel, which wasn't far, I said I wanted to see that she got home safely so I would go with her. In the backseat of the cab things got so hot we fogged up the windows and gave the driver quite the show. When we got to her hotel there was no way I was leaving in the middle of such passion so I went in with her. It turned into the night of my life. We were crazy lustful for each other and we made love seven times, a record for me. In the morning I asked if she wanted me to drop her off at her cousins and she started crying. She told that was a lie and that she was here to go to the abortion clinic because she was pregnant! That one came as quite the shock but I took her to the clinic on my way back to my hotel. It was a very sad parting because I felt I should stay with her to see her through this tough procedure. She insisted she would be okay and didn't want me to mess up my plans. She gave me her phone number and said to call if I wanted to. I never saw her again.)
When I finally made Calgary to see Skip I was pretty wasted and just wanted to get my work done and go to bed. He would have none of that, of course. He drove a big Lincoln with, believe it or not, horns mounted on the hood. I remember noticing a gorgeous blonde in a convertible in front of us. Skip asked me if I wanted to meet her? When I asked how he was going to arrange that, he said he would just hit her gently at the next light. We would then need to exchange information and I could ask her out. I laughed, but to this day I don't know if he would have done that or not. I was so tired and still thinking of Barb that I didn't want to be crashing into any blondes.
I came back to the office the following Monday, armed with full disclosure of what the dealers were to be billed for and what was still on floor plan. Naturally I couldn't get a meeting with Head Office to go over all this to straighten out the mess they had made.
Friday afternoon a bunch of lawyer types and plain clothes RCMP showed up and escorted Gerry and I off the property. We were advised to turn ourselves in voluntarily or we would be arrested at our homes. There was no indication what we would be charged with. When we turned ourselves in the list of charges was extensive and didn't really seem to fit what we thought they were charging us with. Even though I was no lawyer I could not see how they would be able to convict us on anything because American Hoist had not lost a dime, no matter what.
In talking to employees and lawyers we soon learned what was the most ridiculous story, one that would be funny if the results weren't so tragic. Joe Barone, the President of American Hoist, and not the brightest light, had heard all these stories about the damaged trucks being sold, the meeting in Caledon with all the dealers and my trip across the country. He figured there had to be this giant conspiracy against American Hoist where the dealers were selling trucks and not paying us and working with us to destroy TCM. He reported his thoughts to the RCMP who, we were told, spent over two million dollars flying around the country interviewing all our dealers to back-up the conspiracy theory. Not only did the dealers tell them there was no conspiracy, but they also clued them in on what a mess American Hoist's financing plan was in. The RCMP learned a lot, not one bit of which supported Mr. Barone's theory. Some time later the Crown Attorney admitted to me that we were charged only because the RCMP had spent so much money chasing a ghost that someone had to pay.
We knew that they had nothing more than receipts that I was in Dartmouth and that's not illegal, plus they couldn't prove that American Hoist lost a cent, so where was the fraud? We rented an office and warehouse in Oakville and got ready for our first order to arrive. The dealers were getting a great response selling the line and we knew once this original shipment got out there it would be clear sailing. Our BNS rep had dropped by several times and offered to meet with any new dealers we signed and help us in any way possible. Suddenly he called one day and asked if Gerry and I could come down to their Head Office in Toronto to meet with "senior staff". On our drive down we were actually thinking that the big wigs just wanted to meet with their new high-flying clients. Maybe take us out to a ritzy dinner at their private club?
We took the elevator all the way to the top floor and were ushered into a large boardroom where a number of obviously senior execs were sitting at the table. We were in good spirits as we introduced ourselves, right up to the point where one of them, after thanking us for driving down, advised us that they had "rethought" the idea of offering the floor plan financing and were getting out of the business. Well, there went one of the most attractive parts of our dealer program, but we knew we would find someone else to handle it. It was a setback, yes, but not life threatening, that is until they also informed us that they were pulling the letter of credit for the current shipment that was already in transit across the ocean. Now that was a killer! We protested long and loud that they had put all of this in writing to us and this would kill our company. They refused to talk about it and we left. We went to see a lawyer in the same building and, after explaining what happened, he responded that we would no doubt win, but it would take at least ten years and he needed a fifty thousand dollar retainer. His words still echo in my ear, "in Canada it's not about getting justice; it's how much justice you can afford." Gerry actually ended up going to Japan to explain what happened with the bank and trying to keep things afloat but they were scared off by what the bank had done and the deal fell apart. The shipment did actually arrive and BNS stored them in an outside compound even though they were mostly electric lift trucks, so they basically destroyed them. They were eventually sold off at auction for a fraction of what they were worth originally. Even after everything they had done to us the bank came after us for the shortfall of some one hundred and sixty thousand dollars. I sent them a response telling them we would be only too happy to explain what happened in a public courtroom. We never heard from them again.
Obviously now completely broke by the time the court date was coming up I had no choice but to go with a Legal Aid lawyer, who turned out to also be an idiot. As the court date approached I became more and more panicky because I was working at Indal Products in Weston as the Customer Service Manager and had no clue how I was going to explain my absence. The court system is a nightmare and you are never really sure if your case is going to go ahead or not until the very last minute. Once the date was confirmed I felt I had no other choice than to come clean, even if it was going to cost me my job. My President was not the most compassionate man and he could be brutal with people. I was nervous as hell when I asked if we could meet after work around seven when I knew everyone else was gone. It might help to know that I was instrumental in figuring out that the Accounts Payable girl had embezzled over a hundred thousand dollars from the company by creating phony vendors and writing small cheques to them over the years. She was let go with no charges, I guess because there was no chance of recovering any money and the company didn't want the bad press. Anyways, Jon LeHoup, the President, had been very complimentary to me for uncovering this fraud.
So, seven o'clock comes and I am literally shaking. I know in my heart that Jon has every right to fire me and this is clearly what I expected. After laying out the entire story to him I was beyond shocked at his response. Instead of firing me he asked me what he could do to help. He told me to take all the time I needed for the trial and we would say I had a family emergency out West, plus he offered to speak to my character either at the trial or sentencing. Some time later he did appear at my sentencing hearing and spoke glowingly about my performance at work and how I was an invaluable employee who would be sorely missed if I had to do jail time keeping me away from work. I believe he was instrumental in the judge sentencing me to weekends so that I did not lose my job, for which I am forever grateful. I was only sorry that we had to keep this all so secret because I wanted the employees at work to know just how amazing Jon had been to me. Anytime a colleague said something negative about him I was bursting to tell them otherwise.
The trial itself was a complete farce. Sam got on the stand and played the dumb nuffie card, pretending that he knew nothing about any of this "fraud". He had simply seen some parts in our yard and offered to pay for them. When asked why he didn't question paying thirty thousand dollars in cash instead of a cheque to American Hoist he again played dumb and just said that's what we had told him he had to do. Not only did he get off scott free but he also made a fortune selling the "parts" as trucks, including putting some in his rental fleet, exactly what we told him he could NOT do.
Gerry did take the stand and although he also tried to play dumb, the jury just didn't believe him. He was very nervous on the stand and tried to laugh everything off, but even I didn't believe what he said. I told my lawyer to put me on the stand and I would simply tell the exact truth of what really happened. I knew there was no conspiracy to defraud and no fraud. I could prove I had done my job exactly as I should have and that no one lost a penny. He was such a dork and really didn't comprehend the facts. I had been writing out index cards during the trial and handing him the questions to ask, but he never got to the point or managed to get the jury to fully understand that I was not guilty of all the charges that had been laid. He didn't even touch the whole issue of the RCMP running around the country trying to expose this giant conspiracy that didn't exist.
The jury threw out seven of the eight charges and found Gerry and I guilty on one count of fraud. We were both sentenced to week-ends in the Metro West detention centre, Gerry riding on my coat-tails of all the great character references I submitted. He had none. What has always interested me is why no one ever asked who the third person was who was involved. Terry was never charged with anything. The other thing is that if we were found guilty of a thirty thousand dollar fraud, why was there no restitution? Regardless of the decision from the jury I think the judge was smart enough to figure out what a debacle this had been and that American Hoist had not been defrauded out of anything. In his charge to the jury he reminded them that the evidence had to be clear that there was either a conspiracy or a fraud, suggesting that the jury, like him, consider who lost anything here. Too bad the jury never got it.
We did our time, which was brutal. I think every kid should be forced to spend a weekend there and they would think twice about ever doing anything wrong. When you check in you leave any valuables at the entrance. You are strip searched for any drugs or weapons then given your jumpsuit and your paper thin blanket for your filthy bed. You keep you head down at all times and never make eye contact with the guards, who you call "boss" if they ask you something. You eat slop and play cards all weekend with nothing but time to kill. There's some serious characters in there who are waiting to be transferred to other prisons or jurisdictions and you just hope they don't jump you. You rarely speak to anyone to avoid any chance of an argument.
After a few weekends we were offered a chance to do community work instead of sitting on our ass all weekend. We both jumped at the chance to get out and we did things like peel hundreds of potatoes at various churches or clean-ups. Everyone looked down at you like a common criminal and you were treated like dirt. I tried to make the best of it and was always bright and cheery with people I met outside. They soon realized they had nothing to fear and we had some laughs. The three months went fairly quickly although it was really tough to explain my absence on the weekends, especially from hockey. I had never missed a single practice or game since Chris started playing and my sudden absence would certainly be noticed. My wife could only say that I was working, a pretty lame excuse because everyone knew I would never miss a game.
Near the end of my sentence my son's team won a trip to play in Lake Placid in the Olympic arena. It was breaking my heart that I could not be there. I mentioned it to one of the people I was volunteering with and, being a fan and having a son in hockey, she knew how important this was to me. She pulled some strings and the next thing I know the guard is calling me and telling me I have a pass to go but I have to check in Sunday night when we got back. I was beyond thrilled that I got to see him play in such an amazing place although it was really tough to explain where I had been for three months. I don't know if anyone ever believed me.
So, life went on. There were many difficult times through all of this. One was telling my son that I had been convicted. We went for a drive up to Heart Lake and when I said I needed to talk to him about something he started tearing up and asked me if I was dying? When I said no, he asked if we were splitting up? Somehow this softened the blow a little when I told him the truth and what was about to happen. The other tough part of all of this is how my wife just abandoned me after I was charged. She spent the money with no problems, but she never once supported me in any of what happened. We never spoke about it. She never came to court, even for my sentencing. It was somehow all my fault and she wanted nothing to do with it. I was on my own. When I look back I should have left her there and then, but I was stupid and I hung around for many more years and it never got any better.
Story over? Nope. One thing my boob lawyer had said to me was to keep my nose clean and my record would be expunged in ten years if I was a good boy. During this time I had been traveling back and forth to the States and I always worried I would get stopped and they wouldn't let me in, but nothing ever happened. When it had been over ten years since my conviction and I was traveling through the States often, with no issues, I figured the lawyer was right and my record was gone.
Boy, was I wrong!
Sad State of Affairs
Life is beyond challenging right now. I've had to go off work on medical leave because the unbelievable stress of the job was causing my already poor health to deteriorate even more. My normally low blood pressure was dangerously elevated and my heart was racing. I'd gone from being stressed out coming home from work to being stressed out going to work.
Forever Love
No matter what, you will always be my “forever love”.
My vision for this Valentine’s Day cannot come true
The cabin in the woods, the roses, just me and you
There was wine and strawberries with cream
The kind of things of which you can only dream.
To kiss and to cuddle and make love all night
To show you my love in ways to delight.
My heart is bursting with feelings for you
You are my “once in a lifetime love”, it’s true
Without you loving me I don’t know what to do.
Am I just to be your friend? Please give me a clue
Is there any hope for me to cling to the hope?
Or does that just make me even more of a dope?
So sorry that the words in my blogs hurt you
Honesty is the best policy? Not always true
I just wanted to be the man in your life
And to believe someday you’d be my wife.
Great memories are many, I hope you agree
I want to believe it’s not over for me.
Your mind seems made up. Is there no chance
That you and I can still find romance?
You’ve found another. You think he’s the one
If that’s true, then, yes I agree, I am done.
I know I have wronged you and deserve to lose
But I still believe I’m the right one to choose.
Thoughts of you consume all of my days
I love you so much, in so many ways.
Your beauty excites me beyond belief
You have stolen my heart, you wonderful thief.
No woman has ever meant more to me
You are my reason for living, can’t you see?
For without you I am a broken man
To live all alone, don’t think that I can.
I lay down at night, thinking of you
I wake the next day and the same is true
That you came into my life to love
Is the most wonderful gift from above.
No one will ever love you like I do.
No one will ever completely understand you.
No one will ever bring laughter your way
No one will work harder to make your day
No one will ever help you all that he can
Because no other just wants to be your man.
If you find true love I will become a distant memory
But deep in my heart I hope, if you ever think of me
I hope you remember all the good that we had
And that for a fleeting moment you’re glad.
That you met me and loved me for a little while
That thoughts of you and me make you smile.
“ILYB”, “ILYMB” and so much more
Texting and talking were what I adore.
Making love to you was what heaven’s about
That I could please you, my name to shout
“Wait! Wait” were words of music to my ears
Was I good enough? You calmed all my fears.
Poem - Denise
Fallen Angel
Dark thoughts overwhelm me in every way
So hard to write without tears today
My heart is broken, my soul laid bare
Impossible to go on with no one to care.
You came into my life by pure chance
Was this to be my last shot at romance?
You were my once in a lifetime love
Such a wonderful gift from above.
My life was in ruins until you came along
To fill me with joy and in my heart put a song.
From the moment we met that fateful day
I knew you were special in every way.
We laughed; we texted, we talked every day
We made love in the most incredible way
It was the first time I understood “you complete me”
In every minute of every day I thought you would be.
Now my heart is broken, my soul filled with grief
Looks like this wonderful love will be so brief
Where once every single day you needed me
You have chosen without me you prefer to be.
No longer you need to hear the sound of my voice
Out of your life is now your very sad choice.
Cast aside like last week’s news
I never thought I’d be the one to lose.
You had such passion, such love to give
Your small imperfections I’d easily forgive.
For me you were a beacon of light
Together just felt so incredibly right.
But hoping and wishing that someday you will care
Clinging so desperately to this thought I do not dare
Oh, the hurt and the pain, I am so forlorn
Today I wish I had never been born.
Where once every day you filled my life with joy
Now without you there is nothing to enjoy
My very being has been wrapped up in you
Without you in my life I don’t know what to do.
You made me feel important, loved and wanted so bad
Even with Emily you made me feel like a Dad
It felt like “family”, something so important to me
I believed that some day, together we would be.
There has been so much that I will cherish forever
That I will ever forget you? No never!
The girls. What colour? Has anyone told you today? Oh, so true!
These were all things that I thought were special to you.
I am where I am because I fell so in love with you
Now I am lost and don’t know what to do.
You have made it clear that you are done with me.
That’s a dagger in my heart and it will surely kill me.
We have shared so much and I’ve been there for you
I’ve tried to help with what you needed to do
That made me feel so good and I hoped some day
I’d be with you and Emily to live together every day.
I know now you don’t love me, but I hope you can see
That without you I am struggling as bad as it can be.
Please think about what we’ve had again and again
Try to be patient and understand my incredible pain.
Don’t cast me aside in my hour of need
Please hear my call for help and heed.
To never feel my arms around you again
Brings tears of sadness and incredible pain.
For Sarah to be loved by someone else now
Tears at my heart and I don’t know how
I will ever get over you, I don’t think I can
I wanted so desperately to be your man.
Life without you is what I dread
I am so much better off dead.
Know that you are the most important thing in my life.
My biggest regret is that I can’t make you my wife.
I feel worthless, lonely and filled with doubt
To be in love is what life’s all about
With no one to care whether you live or die
To go on each day, you have no idea why.
I will never regret one minute that we have shared
It was so very amazing that for a while you cared.
I am left a broken man, so horribly sad and upset
But not one minute we shared will I ever regret.
You were my Angel, my love and my reason to be
Please never forget how important you are to me
Without your love I have nowhere to go
Yes, you’ll forget me, but always know
You were my one Babygirl and I will love you for all eternity.
Crystal
Just when I thought it would never happen for me
And I had accepted that alone I always would be
She came into my life like a breath of fresh air
Finally someone for whom I could really care.
It all started when I asked her to dance
But I wondered, “Is this the start of romance?”
She said she wasn’t good enough to dance with me
But right away I knew a great dancer she’d be.
We talked and we danced and we laughed that first night
So comfortable with each other I knew it was right
Our first “date” was to go play pool
“Be cautious” I said, don’t be a fool.
You’ve been hurt before by going too fast
Take it slow with her so this one will last
But her smile, her laugh, and my heart she had won
At long last, I thought, I had found the one
Who stirred feelings in me I’d long given up on
Now only thoughts of her with each new day’s dawn.
Each day brought something new to share
Not hard to believe I started to care
But fate stepped in to get in the way
She’d booked a vacation to take her away.
How ever will I survive this time apart?
I knew it would hurt from the start.
But I hoped we could still share in some way
The fun she was having even so far away.
The worst thing for me was Valentine’s Day
On my most special day she would be away
So I tried to do something special for her
Even though together I would much prefer.
But she wouldn’t tell me where she was staying
That cut like a knife I don’t mind saying
It was the very first sign I needed to know
And it signaled what was the very first blow.
There was no contact from her for all those days
And my mind started to wander in so many ways
Everyone said to just wake up and see
That with another man she really must be.
But hope springs eternal they say
And I kept thinking “no way!”
But with each passing day and not a thing
Her return only heartache would bring.
For I would have to accept the truth so bad
That she just didn’t care made me so sad.
When she returned she just didn’t get
How what she did made me so upset
She tried to explain that it’s really tough
To contact me, but it wasn’t enough.
The truth was she just didn’t care
My pain and concern she didn’t share.
We talked and we agreed to give it a try
To try to get passed this, I’m not sure why
As bad as I felt, I wanted her in my life
We’d get over this and have no more strife.
She’d been warm, affectionate and “conflicted”
To her charms I had become truly addicted.
Making love? She wanted to wait
We even, in jest, set a date.
Her kisses just made me go out of my mind
A girl who made me this crazy I didn’t think I’d find.
It’s been a long time since I felt fifteen years old
It’s different when you’re older I’ve been told.
But all I could think of was being with her
Every fiber of my body she did stir.
Her touch, her kisses, her body – all too much
It was downright impossible not to touch.
The kisses they stopped and the passion waned
“What am I doing wrong?” I complained.
“We have to be friends first,” was the excuse
But anyone with feelings knows this is a ruse.
If you feel the attraction you just act
Your body doesn’t lie, it’s a fact
If you can suppress what you’re feeling
Then no passion is with what you’re dealing.
I have no idea of how to act with her now
Just be her friend? I don’t even know how.
Thoughts of her even when in my sleep
How do I suppress the love down deep?
.
It’s hard to accept how cold she can be
What is that stops her from caring for me?
She says she likes affection, loves “PDA”
But she barely responds, only pushes me away.
Pull back and wait for her to come to me?
Only disappointed and hurt will I be
Friends? Lovers? I haven’t a clue
And I have no idea what to do.
I made the mistake of falling in love, no shame
Hoping some day she would feel the same
But she has clearly shown she doesn’t want me
Never more than a friend will I ever be.
She says she’s not “100% available for a date”
That’s a clear indication of how I don’t rate
My heart is hurting, never felt this bad
Losing her makes me feel so sad.
She tires of hearing how much I care
So continuing to love her I don’t dare
It’s hard for me to accept right now
But to go on like this I don’t know how.
Our friendship I treasure and hope it won’t end.
But in this little poem, the message I send.
Is that for you, my love, I will always care
More than you will ever know or share.
Please be patient with me and do not dismiss me
You said you want honesty and this you will see
Is better than living a lie I can no longer ignore
To have told you I love you I could not regret more.
To feel you don’t want me by your side
Brings tears and pain I wish I could hide
But you have gotten right under my skin
I so dearly wish your heart I could win.
That it’s not meant to be I can now clearly see
But please, as a friend, don’t be cruel to me
You are so very special to have in my life
Even though I know now you’ll not be my wife.
I just need some time to accept how it is for you
And to try to do what seems impossible to do
To stop loving you and wanting you so bad
When all I can feel is rejected and sad.
Please, please, please don’t react mean to me
Accept how important you always will be
I want to go on as the best of friends forever
To dance and do all the great things together
At least ‘til you find the man that for you
Makes you feel just the way that for you I do.
Love, always.
Your friend forever,
Gary
The Rose
The Rose
My heart aches, my knees are weak
Losing this sorrow is all that I seek
Dreams of the future now only regrets
Alone without you is as bad as it gets.
My dreams for love only needed a name
So I gave them yours, but now such a shame
You’re gone from my life as fast as you came
That it’s just not to be is such as shame.
Your life will unfold as it’s meant to be
Too bad there’ll never be a “you and me”
It could have been what love’s all about
That you are the “one” I have no doubt.
I long for you to have given us a chance
To see if there could be true romance.
Sadness is now the theme of my prose
But don’t let it be said:
“I never sent you a rose”.
Today would have been my forty-second anniversary
Yikes! That's a lifetime. I don't have any regrets that my twenty-three year marriage ended when it did. It was actually over long before I finally left. I made the same mistake that many people make - sticking around for the kids, when it didn't end up making any difference anyway. I remember someone saying that you know it's over when you wake up and you wish you were anywhere else. After twenty-three years of trying, hoping that someday it would all magically change, I realized it would not and I left.
Know your parents' finances before they're gone
It may well be just how it was with my generation, but I suspect that children are still uncomfortable discussing finances with their parents. Other than the obvious signs of jobs and possessions, we assume our parents are doing okay handling their finances. Not always.
In my entire life I don't even remember overhearing a conversation about money from my parents. They both had jobs, working man types and we always had food on the table and clothes on our backs. We went on vacations, albeit camping, every year and we had a few "toys" like mini bikes and a skidoo. My parents drove late model cars and I don't ever remember not going somewhere because we couldn't afford it. We never went to Florida or did things like the theatre or had any luxuries, and there was no question that none of us would be going on to university, but we were never poverty stricken, at least not that I remember. In my own life, when we were just starting out and the factory I was working in went on strike, and I did not get any strike pay because I was not in the union yet, nor could I get unemployment insurance because I was on strike, things got pretty scary for a bit. I remember having nothing more than potatoes and onions in the house for a couple of days because what money we had went to baby formula.
My Dad always worked hard and I don't ever remember him being out of work except after the fire at the refinery when he was in hospital for several months. My Mum worked with the bank forever and still did after they moved out West. My Dad was a Real Estate Broker for a time here in Ontario, but he couldn't take being away from the family as much as the career demanded. When they moved out West he got a factory job with what later became Western Star Trucks. At the time I didn't understand how he could go from broker to factory worker, but I realized later that he got his family life back with that job. Come 3:30 he was gone, leaving the job behind and they had a camper and a boat and they went everywhere. They had a good life even though they never had any real money to speak of.
They both retired early, in their late fifties and we assumed that they took early pensions or had money stashed somewhere to live on. Both my parents drank and my Dad smoked, although he "hid" it from my Mum. Yeah, right. Dad loved his steaks. Mum loved to gamble and went to the bingo and the casino all the time. For seventeen years every winter they went south to a fifth wheel trailer in Yuma, Arizona. Dad always bragged about how much cheaper it was to live there. I learned much later that my uncle let them stay in the trailer and ended up giving it to them in his will. When they couldn't travel south anymore because of the health insurance they sold it for something around eight thousand dollars.
Back in Ontario, with help from the Veterans' Loans Program, they managed to buy an old farmhouse in Streetsville. Before that we had been living with my grandmother on Hugo Avenue in Toronto. To my knowledge my parents never owned a home before Streetsville. They had lived on the island and in an apartment in Ajax and on a farm that would become Don Mills today, but they always rented or worked for it. Streetsville was the princely sum of $10,000, but it had no indoor plumbing and was heated with a stove. It was like going back in time to the eighteen hundreds. The next years were spent renovating the place, putting in central heating and indoor plumbing and many other things, including aluminum siding the entire place, so I assumed my parents got the money from somewhere.
In 1970 life for all of us changed dramatically. My parent packed up and moved out West to Kelowna. They had tried to sell the place in Streetsville before they left, but the market wasn't good, so they had taken it off the market and rented it instead. This was a fatal mistake. Not only did the guy renting it not pay the rent, but he left the place with the heat shut-off. The water pipes froze and the place was flooded, damaging everything, especially the original wood floors. My Dad had to come down by bus to assess the damage and repair everything. I don't know what they eventually sold it for, but a lot of the money went to a lawyer trying to sue the tenant for all the damage. Before any settlement was reached the lawyer committed suicide because he had embezzled money from another client, so my Dad lost everything as well.
While they were renting a house on Marshall Street in Kelowna, they would camp every week-end at a place called Shady Rest out in what was called Westbank at the time, now West Kelowna. They had a spot reserved right on the beach and one day the manager came by to tell them that they would not be able to camp there anymore because it was being converted into a mobile home park. My parents jumped on it and were amongst the first three people to lease lots on the beach. Somehow they managed to finance a mobile home costing $12,000 and put it on the site, where they would enjoy life for the next thirty-five years. It was an incredible spot, year round.
My Dad never seemed interested in starting any kind of business, but he had called me one day in a bit of a panic, telling me that friends of his were building a theme park and they had run into some money troubles. If we could come up with Nineteen Thousand dollars we would get forty-nine percent of the business, which was to be called The Flintstones. My Dad had been working part-time for the people that owned it, building log boats and many other things. He was very talented that way. My wife at the time would have nothing of it. I offered to put our house money in trust for two years and, if the theme park failed, we would come back to Ontario, but she wouldn't budge. My Dad could not come up with his share either, so we both lost out. The park went on to make over a hundred thousand dollars per week for many years and was eventually sold to interests from Calgary for 2.7 million dollars. Yes, our ships had come in and sailed without us.
When I moved out west in 1993 it was primarily because my mother had been diagnosed with fifth stage melanoma and didn't have long to live. I wanted to spend whatever time she had left with her and Dad, not to mention my family out there. Mum and Dad seemed happy and they had their little pleasures, like "Happy Time" every day. My Dad was always puttering around with something. For a time he made little animal windmills, like Tweety and Sylvester. People loved them and he couldn't keep up, but I don't think he ever made any money.
Life changed again beyond drastically when my Dad died in my arms in the spring of 2005. That's when I got the rude awakening on their finances. As my father's executor and now my mother's care giver I had to know everything and it soon became clear they were not in good shape. First, my Dad had no insurance with a death benefit, which sure would have helped. There wasn't even any money to cover the costs of any funeral, even though his wishes were to be cremated and not buried. He also didn't want a sad funeral so I had a celebration of his life instead. Still the costs of the very basic process were twenty-five hundred dollars, money we did not have. I was fortunate to find a most compassionate funeral director who asked if my Dad was a Vet and then told me I could get the money from the Vet's association and that she would wait for the money. I have no idea what I would have done if she hadn't told me that.
Second, they had built up a large line of credit, too large, with a local bank and hadn't been making any payments except interest for many years. It looked like this is how my Dad dealt with their expenses being more than their fixed incomes for quite some time, if only because there was nothing that he had borrowed a specific amount for. It was the a very big build-up from their draw and it was allowed based solely on their thirty-five years with the bank. It is important to note here that although they owned their mobile trailer they did not own the land it sat on, in fact, they paid dearly to rent it, four hundred and twenty-five dollars a month when Dad passed away.
Dad's pension would now obviously stop, but his small Veteran's pension would thankful run for a year, so that was going to help a little. At the time of his death their home was on the market, but the decision was made that it would be too much for Mum with her Alzheimer's to lose Dad and then be forced to move, so we took it off the market. She was also getting worse and would need to go into a care facility, something that was not available at the time because there were over three hundred people on the "emergency" list already. I knew it was going to be tough to survive, but I hoped to be able to take advantage of programs such as Community Futures to see what I could do for money.
The biggest shock came with the arrival of my Dad's Visa bill. He owed a shocking fourteen thousand dollars and with an interest rate of nineteen percent. I had remembered him being very stressed about something with Visa, if only because it was the first time he had ever mentioned anything about their finances. He said that something had gone wrong with the automatic payment they were to take from their account and he hadn't noticed it on the bank statement, and now they were pressuring him to make up the back payments. He didn't say how much he owed or what the payments were, just that it was giving him grief. I can see why.
There were so many issues with this Visa account. First, how in the world did he ever manage to owe that much in the first place? And why, when they had a line of credit with the bank, and at five percent, didn't he just increase the line of credit and not up the Visa? When I delved into this with the bank, the first excuse I got was that Visa and the bank are separate operations and there is no coordination between the two. Weak excuse, at best. Second, the reason he owed so much was that he had called asking for an increase of ten thousand dollars to put a new engine in his disaster of a boat, something that the bank should never have allowed. When I questioned why they didn't at least offer to increase the line of credit, they had no answers and admitted that they should have looked after my father better. I told them I at the very least wanted the ridiculous interest charges reversed and the amount added to their line of credit. I then realized that for some unknown reason the account was only in my Dad's name, so in my mind the account was gone with him. I asked them to show me any documentation where my mother had agreed to pay the account. I also checked the law and discovered the debt did not automatically fall to my mother.
The next disaster with the bank was that, as executor of my Dad's estate now, I had to redo all the paperwork for the account. As soon as I notified the bank that my Dad had passed away they asked for his debit card and they cut it up right in front of me. No problem, I figured, because they would now give me one in my name for the account, right? My own bank, BMO, had issued me a card the minute I opened the account with them. No such luck. They then inform me that it will take a "couple of weeks" to issue me a card. When I asked how I was supposed to pay for things like groceries now, they had no answer. I had to carry cash.
Next thing they called me up to ask me to come in and bring my mother to sign new papers and I receive our debit cards. Remember that my mother's Alzheimer's was so bad she could not possibly control her money or have a debit card. She was a gambler and loved the casino, but with her memory she could easily blow all her money and not remember doing it, so a debit card was out of the question. I stressed with the manager that she was not to even mention this to my mother or sparks would fly. When we got to her office the very first thing she did was pull out my mother's debit card and ask her to sign it! I had to say that my mother was not allowed to have one, and that set her off. She blew up and stormed out of the office, hollering about not being able to have her own money and making quite a scene. I told the lady I was dealing with to go and get her because it wasn't my fault she hadn't listened to me. The manager ended up calming down my mother and explaining that I was just in charge of things like Dad was now and that the bank would do everything they could to help her. All total BS.
I explained that we were going to be losing Dad's pension now, but that I was going to try to get unemployment or find a way to make money to help out, and the bank manager said they would allow any increase I needed on the line of credit to help. I said that as soon as I could find a care facility for my mother I would be selling her place and pay down the line of credit. I mentioned that there were things I could do using my renovation experience to add value to the home and she agreed to extend whatever financing I needed. So, as bad as things were, I thought we would make it, at least until we could sell the place.
The next few months were challenging on so many levels, but we managed. Mum always blew up at me when I told her that things were different now and she could not afford to spend the kind of money she had been at the casino. This was a weekly fight. When the winter set in heating became a major issue. She insisted on having the heat set at twenty-five degrees, which was like an oven. We had a pellet stove in the living room, but the pellets were very expensive. Their place was also the only one in the park still using oil, which was also very expensive. In one three week period we spent $750 on pellets and oil. I kept the pellet stove blasting for her in the living room, but I kept turning down the thermostat for the furnace and every time she walked by it she turned it back up, swearing at me that it was her home and she wanted heat.
It started to drain our limited finances and my attempts to get work were also a disaster. I had managed to register for a course through Community Futures and get Mum into daycare, but she absolutely refused to go, so I lost the course and the funding. On top of all that the bank suddenly chose this time to inform me that they had changed their minds and would not allow any increase in the line of credit. We hit rock bottom when I had no money for either pellets or oil and we had no heat. Finally I managed to convince their oil supplier that, based on the thirty-five years we had been a customer they would deliver oil and let me pay for it as soon as the money came in. We would have frozen to death. The days my mother had to wear three layers of clothes and her coat were pure hell because she could never remember why it was so cold in there and begged me constantly to turn on the heat. It was hopeless.
The point here is that all of this could have been avoided if I had asked my father to share some information with me, just in case something happened to either one of them. I know this is difficult because no parent wants their children to interfere in what they view as their private affairs, but the reality is that one day you will be dealing with it whether you like it or not. It's a whole lot easier to ask the questions and find the information you will need when your parents are there to answer your questions than it is after they are gone.