My First Day in Boquete
Friday, December 28, 2007
My first full day in Boquete. Bit of a crazy one. Sonia had helped me shop yesterday. I bought a coffee maker ($7), cream, sweetener, and coffee. Went to brew coffee this morning and what I didn't buy was filters. So much for my morning Java fix. I was starving so I headed off to the Panama House – the one that was closed yesterday.
As I came out my gate Harland was standing in front of his place, on his cell phone. I said a quick Buenos Dias and kept walking. He called me back and asked where I was heading. When I said coffee he asked if I minded if he and his son and his son’s girlfriend joined me. Obviously no.
We were there in two minutes and he knew the owner well. We sat outside to smoke, but his son and girlfriend sat at a different table. My first thought was how gorgeously warm it was and I harkened back to standing in Westbank waiting for the bus. Quite the contrast now. Harland and I started yacking. He has been here four years and he is a fountain of information about relocating to Panama. It was excellent for me because he covered all the ins and outs of what is really the truth here – who you know and who you pay what to to get things done. He will no doubt prove to be a valuable resource for me.
I was really struggling with the no hot water issue, and I got my first, expensive lesson in dealing with the Panamanians. I was talking to Karinthya online and told her I could simply not live without hot water, so I would be moving and hoped her Mum would treat me fairly on the rent and my deposit. She called her Mum and a few minutes later told me her Mum had agreed to “fix” the hot water. Knowing things are all too easily “lost in translation” I said I wanted to be perfectly clear on what exactly “fix” meant. She asked what I thought it meant, and I replied that replacing the water heater that they removed was my idea of “fixing” it. She agreed, and told me Sonia would meet me at the house.
When Sonia got there she proceeded to turn on the infamous "suicide" heater in the shower to show me that it worked, as though somehow this is what I wanted. When I said, no, I wanted hot water to the whole house they started making calls to find out the cost. Garcia was totaling up some numbers on a piece of paper and wrote what looked like $760.00, which came as a shock to me. When I reacted Sonia showed him his “1” looked like a “7” and we laughed. But they were obviously waiting for some indication from me that I was going to pay the $160. At this point it was either pay or find another place, possibly losing my deposit in the process. Harland had said there were nicer places, but they were not in town, and they were around five hundred a month – more than my limited funds would allow. It also looks less and less like I am going to be able to afford a vehicle, at least not until the house sells, so moving out of town is not an option at this point.
Garcia agreed to drive us to David to get the water heater at the Do-It Center and we would install it tomorrow. Still not sure what “fix” meant to Sonia, but at least I will finally have hot water. They are also going to replace my broken taps.
On the way out we stopped at their house, which was very nice. I met one of their daughters, Deanna and her daughter, Michelle. I had mentioned to Garcia that I was mucho humbre (hungry) and hoped we could stop in David when we got there. Before I knew it Garcia and Sonia were cooking away. They made the best spaghetti I think I've ever had, along with fried bananas and fresh pineapple juice. We sat outside on their patio and enjoyed a great meal. Deanna lives in Costa Rica and her English is better than Sonia’s or Garcia’s, which isn't saying much, but it was nice to be able to have more than broken word conversations.
Off we headed to David – one guy who hardly spoke English and one guy who hardly spoke Spanish. It was an interesting drive, but somehow we managed to talk all the way there and back. At least I know my numbers in Spanish now, well, up to ten anyway. I got a big kick when, if there was a moment of silence, he’d start with “uno” and we went up to ten.
We got the water heater, a better coffee maker and a toaster, of course both of which I have at home. I hate spending money like this, especially when I don’t have it, but I have to live. And the way things are going I certainly cannot afford to eat out, despite the lower prices. The money has to last or I’m in bigger trouble than I was. It would have been incredible to have sold the house and everything I owned and came here with the money to be able to do what I wanted to do. Maybe it’s just not my destiny to be “stress free”.
I was writing this at Roxane’s, The Grill House, salivating over trying my first steak. The place was packed and there was a line-up outside. I asked a waiter if I could sit at a table outside to smoke and got a “si, senior”. I was going to try my first beer, but no one came to serve me. The window behind my table was open so I asked a waiter to come. Again, “si senior”. Fifteen minutes later, still no one. Two girls who had sat down only a few minutes earlier got service from a guy I assumed was the owner within minutes. I was not impressed.
Then through the window I hear a group of about ten Americans place a very large order, so I knew even if I did get served it would be an hour before I saw food. I got up and left.
Sonia and I had eaten at a very nice place, the Rendezvous, yesterday, so I thought I’d see if it was still open, which thankfully it was. The owner greeted me, but spoke zero English, so I was struggling to order from the all Spanish menu. Just when I thought we had got it straight, he comes back babbling away in Spanish. I thought maybe he was asking me what kind of steak I wanted. After my “no comprende” he went in and came back with the girl who served us yesterday. She broke out in a big smile, obviously recognizing me from yesterday, which was nice. I told her about my horrible experience at Roxane’s and she said they were all family here at this place, and she would take good care of me. She’s cute and had no idea what I thought take me of me meant to me. What he was trying to say was to ask me how I wanted it done. Language is always an adventure.
Karinthya is a big fan of what happens does so for a reason. Not only did I have a fantastic steak but I met two wonderful people – Paolo and Samuel. She was from the Bahamas and he was from Switzerland. They spoke Spanish but more often French, so I got to dust off my grade 10 French. After dinner I invited them to walk back to the house, which they did and we had many drinks and laughs and good conversation. I wish they lived here in Boquete as I think we would have become great friends. Paolo gave me her email address and asked me to let her know how I was doing. Now if I could only meet someone my own age that is as nice as her.
Tomorrow we install the water heater and I can hopefully have a shower, one without zapping myself. I am supposed to take Karinthya, Hossman, Garcia and Sonia out for dinner tomorrow night to thank them for all the help they have provided. With not having a car I would have been lost without them. Karinthya and I did speak about me going with them to Bocos del Tora for New Year’s, which would have been a blast, but the way I’m spending money I didn't count on, I can’t afford to go anywhere.
Panama or Bust
My trip to Panama
The original plan didn't quite work, but what happened might have been a blessing in disguise. I had sold my truck and bought the car, intending to drive to Boquete, a trip I figured would take about ten days or so, apparently in my total ignorance. When I was turned back at the border and had to make some last minute plans to fly, I was a bit panicky considering it was Christmas Eve and all. Not only would it be very difficult to even book flights, but everything closed up early for Christmas Eve. On my trip back I doubted BCAA would still be open by the time I made it there.
Hike - McDougall Ridge
Almost felt guilty about not telling the ski club about this one. Naw, I don't, not after zero turnout last week. We were a little later heading out than we usually are (yes, my fault), but reached the highpoint around three or so. As you can see by the pics, the views are just awesome! It was another gorgeous Okanagan day and we made the most of it. From the starting point it's only three kilometres to this spot, but it's about ninety-five percent uphill, so quite the challenging and enjoyable hike. We were going to go go-karting when we got down, but it was too late, so we'll save that for another day. Had a nice steak dinner and watched Tristen & Isolde. Great day!
Joy and Sorrow About My Daughter.
The combination of my birthday and nearly losing it because of my diabetes has given me cause for some reflections on life, particularly about my kids. As you know I reconnected, thanks to Facebook, with my son, Chris, last July. Although it hasn't exactly gone as I hoped (I've had almost no contact with him) it is a delight to hear from one of my granddaughters, Danielle, once in a while. The last time I saw her was when I held in her on my arms as a baby. My son has two other daughters I've never met. Despite the bumps it is my "joy" that we have found each other again after so many years, and that at least they know I'm still alive.
Life is precious
Somehow I've made it through almost fifty-eight years on this planet without a life threatening incident. Sure, I've had some moments, like nearly going off the side of a mountain on my dirt bike, but I never viewed them as "life threatening", or sensed my own mortality.
I've also always considered myself fairly active, working very hard for long days, roller-blading and dancing and hiking and water skiing and cross country skiing and dirt biking - things that people my age don't normally do. Lately I haven't been doing a lot of anything, but that was because I didn't have the money, not because I couldn't.
My situation with not being able to sell the house put me in dire straits financially. My roomie, Ric, has been paying the rent and keeping food on the table, and lending me money when something was critical. One thing I could not afford was my very expensive medicines for my diabetes. I ran out near the end of August, but I had a mortgage arranged for early September, and figured I'd "catch up" on my meds as soon as I had some money and took care of my bills. "Dumb" is not the word for it. Not only did I stop the meds, but my depression made me eat and eat things I am not supposed to touch, let alone gorge on. I ate those mini chocolate bars like there was no tomorrow. I had ice cream with chocolate sauce. I ate ice cream bars and drank Coke and had two or three drinks of Rum every day. I was the poster child for what NOT to do as a diabetic. The mortgage got more and more delayed and still hasn't come through.
A couple of weeks ago I thought I was getting sick with something. I felt horrible and went up to the clinic to see my doctor and get some antibiotics for what I thought was something like bronchitis. I had also just had my blood work done a couple of days before. When my doctor saw me he said he was going to send me straight to the hospital. My blood sugars were completely out of control and I was on the edge. He took a urine sample and said if I started on insulin shots right away I might avoid the hospital. My blood pressure was bad. My cholesterol was bad. My kidneys were bad. I was on the verge of going into a diabetic coma.
The next few days were hell. I almost slept around the clock. I had trouble speaking. I couldn't remember what day it was. My mouth was pasty dry all the time and I drank and drank. I peed twenty times a day. I felt as though I was outside my body. My brain was not working properly, which I learned is a symptom of very high sugar levels. I had not used my glucometer for years, again, not bright, and when I tested my sugars, they were so high all I got was a "too high" flashing on my meter. The least little bit of exercise sent my head spinning. I was so weak. There were a couple of days in there that I thought I would not wake up again. It was pretty scarey stuff.
My sugars are slowly coming down with the insulin shots. The doctor has doubled my insulin, hoping to get my sugars down to where they were long ago. He says I will have more energy and will eventually get back to "normal", which, at the moment seems hard to believe.
This has very much changed my life. I know I came close and I am not infallible anymore. I took my health for granted and I paid the price. I am hoping I have not done too much damage, and that I can get back to living a normal, healthy life. I may be a type 1 now, meaning the insulin shots are permanent, but it won't stop me from living my life as I want to. I need to get healthy, lose some weight and quit smoking, and take all my meds faithfully, or I won't be writing anything on my fifty-ninth birthday.
I hope you learn something from my story and never put yourselves in this position by being as stupid as I was.
Don't Go There
Words
When to explain I try to endeavour
Your only response - “whatever”.
When I suggest we get “touchy-feely”
Your only response - “oh, really?”
When over the line I venture to dare
Your only response – “don’t go there”.
Even when I stumble with only a “duh”.
Your only response – “Uh-huh”.
But when I’m not acting the fool
Your welcome response – “cool”.
And the most common answer wherever I go
Is that all too simple, but meaningful “no.”
Father and Son
Chris called me around six o'clock our time and we talked until 2:30 in the morning! After twelve years we had a lot of catching up to do, that's for sure. Although we covered a lot of ground, obviously, the main things were:
One of those "Life Moments"
Haven't had a whole lot of "personal" stuff to add to my blog, because, of course, with the reno I don't have a personal "life" per say. lol. Nuttin' but work, work, work.
As I reach the twilight of my life
As we grow up we take advice from friends and family, mostly our parents. It’s a little late to realize that my parents really didn’t talk to me or share their life lessons to help me to avoid the mistakes I’ve made. Now that I’ve lost both of them I realize that they were too immersed in living their lives trying to survive and didn’t focus on teaching us anything. There were no talks around the kitchen table about life in general or decisions that I had made or what my plan was for my life. We all lived in the moment and didn’t have any real vision for the future.
The “talk” came much too late in life and it was an emotional regret. My Dad decided it was time to ask me where my life was going. It started with a pretty devastating summary of where I was, with no money for the future, no home, no special person in my life and on and on. He pulled up every mistake he felt I had made in my life. It quickly turned into a three hour shouting match, mostly because of the comparison to my brother. They felt he was far more successful than me because he was married, owned a daycare and import business and traveled the world to buy inventory for his business. What they didn’t know was all the dirt in his life. He treated his daycare employees with contempt, taking money out of the business at will and leaving no money for payroll. He wouldn’t spend a nickel on anything to improve the daycare. When he was overseas and his mortgage on the daycare was coming due he called me for help. Every time he got into trouble with the daycare he called me to bail him out.
The history of how he got the daycare, which my Dad felt was such a smart move, would never have happened if it weren’t for me. His girlfriend in Revelstoke had finally got fed up with his smoking weed around her young child that she threw him out. He showed up at my door in Westbank, sobbing that he had lost everything. They had been working together on a mobile home park in Revelstoke and he had put months in to improve the park. Although they were not married, they had lived together for seven years, so he had some right to share in the mobile home park. I started questioning him about how they had handled the financing on the park and he was clueless. He had never even written a cheque and didn’t know anything about the business as Joanne had dealt with everything. I asked if he had any record of all the hours he had put in. He had nothing. I asked if they had drawn up any agreement about the park. He had none. He had even received an inheritance from our aunt, thirteen thousand dollars, and I asked what he had done with the money. He had just given Joanne the money and he had no record of it. He was in up the creek without a paddle.
Knowing that Joanne’s father was a ruthless businessman, coupled with the fact he would not want to see Kevin get anything, I knew he would take steps to transfer the ownership of the park to him so that Kevin couldn’t get his hands on it. I contacted a lawyer immediately and she called a judge in Revelstoke and got an injunction to stop any transfer of ownership of the park. I then spent hours with him going over his contribution to Joanne and the park. After much haggling back and forth, which only happened because we had the injunction and they had no choice but to negotiate, Kevin ended up getting a cheque for a whopping one hundred and thirteen thousand dollars. His reaction? Never thanked me one second and complained about what the lawyer charged him.
He then looked around for something to invest his money in and asked for my help. Although he was a registered nurse he had been caught trying to smuggle cocaine into Canada. He had swallowed bags of it and he called me from the airport saying they were holding him until it came out. Another long story, but he was going to do at least ten years of hard time. I got him a wonderful lawyer who ended up getting him only a six month sentence in Milton. Again, all he did was complain about the bill from the lawyer and never thanked me for saving his ass. With the conviction his life as a nurse was over.
He found the daycare for sale and felt that as a nurse this would be something he could do. When we put in an offer, again, with my Realtor, he couldn’t get financing because his credit record was a mess. I had also warned him that with a criminal record he might have trouble getting his license for the daycare. The only way he got his financing was assuming a first mortgage from the bank and I arranged a private second mortgage, both of which I had to sign for as a guarantor. After the closing date I went in for several days going over the books and setting things up properly. He never spent a minute in the daycare. The old tired house needed a lot of work to be able to get the license, so my girlfriend at the time, Tracy and I spent six months getting the daycare setup properly and running the way it should. Tracy ended up working their looking after the staff and she was amazing.
Before we had started working at the daycare Kevin said that his import business was taking all his time and he wanted to sell me the daycare. That was most of the reason that I worked there with no pay. I drew up an agreement of Purchase and Sale and submitted it to him. He was leaving the country, so I pushed him to sign the agreement before he left. His answer was to call Tracy and offer her a deal to buy the daycare, cutting me out of it altogether. I was furious. Before he left the country he took six thousand dollars out of the daycare, leaving no money to pay the staff. I did my best to collect as much money as I could, but I could not make payroll. On Monday morning, without notice, I had to put up a sign that the daycare was closed, leaving parents with no care for their children. I stood at the door for hours as parents arrived and they were obviously furious and took it out on me. So much for his “successful” daycare.
His marriage? Well, believe it or not, on one of his many trips overseas he met a young girl and got her pregnant. He actually asked Susan if he could bring them to Canada and is she would look after the baby? Talk about clueless! In a flash Susan closed all their bank accounts and froze the assets of their import business. She fire-saled all the inventory out of their store and closed it down, leaving my brother with nothing. Naturally he phoned me to bail him out. He had got involved with some shady land deal in Thailand and needed ten thousand dollars or he said they would kill him. Even though my mother hadn't died, so he was not entitled to any inheritance, I sent him the money, much against my feelings about it. His reaction was to get my sister to argue with me that he should have got more.
It was the last time I had any dealings with him and today I don't know whether he is alive or dead and, frankly, don't care. He has used me ever since he was a teenager and I always come out the worst of it, so good riddens.
You stole my heart
You stole something from me while you were here
A thing that to me I hold quite dear.
I knew it would be gone, right from the start,
I know it’s broken, but can I have back my heart?
And now for the rest of the story…..
Thoughts of rhyme have long since died
Without inspiration I’ve not even tried
Now you come along to light the flame
Of burning desire to write it again.
We are the sum of the people we’ve met
Some bring good, some bad, and yet
We learn from each and every one
To avoid the mistakes others have done.
Visions of you and that cute little wink
You lighten my heart and make me think
About dreams I’ve not had for a while.
Every thought of you brings on a smile.
Your wonderful laugh and twinkling eyes
Stir feelings in me I can not disguise.
Our time together was all too brief
That my feelings are strong is beyond belief.
You’re gone now just as fast as you came.
No more time together – such a shame.
Your life goes right back to the way it was.
Mine now changed forever, you are the cause.
My memories of our time bring on a smile
To say I don’t care would be such denial.
To hold you, caress you and share a kiss
Those wonderful memories are all such bliss.
To cuddle, caress and make love
Would truly be a gift from above.
I got a glimpse of how it might be
If I were yours and you were free.
It’s said that in every life two people exist
Who will be perfect matches you can’t resist.
Now that you’ve come and gone away
I am very sad that it ended that way.
“Hope springs eternal” it’s often said
But my heart must listen to my head
You are so perfect – gorgeous and smart
But logic must prevail, forget my heart.
A different place and a different time?
Isn’t knowing that it “might be” sublime?
Now everyone else will be compared to you
They’ll fail ‘cause to you I’m true.
Ah, the possibilities, tho’ you say “Don’t Go There”,
But memories of you, they’re everywhere.
It’s like there was nothing before you came along
To fill me with hope, dreams and song.
Thoughts of you never go away.
Why this happened now I cannot say.
Maybe the dream is better in fact
You may not like the way I act.
You must have faults, yes, only a few
Certainly no better or worse than I do
We are two different people that we know
But in the same direction, couldn’t we go?
It would be swell to just have the chance
Just to see if there could be romance
Give the dream a chance to come true
You think it’s something we should really do?
There are probably others who’d question why
I would even think to give it a try
When those around might not agree
That you and I, together should be.
That our paths crossed now must be fate.
Such strong emotion that feels just great.
Yet the depth of affection I feel for you
Is dashed by what I know to be true.
That you are pledged to another I cannot ignore.
It’s the painful truth of what came before.
The mere chance of our meeting cannot change
The course of our lives, no matter how strange.
You say I don’t know you, suggesting that’s bad.
What I do know is, without you, I’m left very sad.
Little doubt in my mind that you’re probably right
But my heart says it’s a lot more than one night.
For you are the one I’ve been waiting for
That’s more than you want I cannot ignore
But I speak out no matter the cost
The simple truth – without you I’m lost.
Words of the songs have new meaning to me
Before you came along my mind could not see
How long dead emotions had grown so cold.
It’s wondrous to feel alive before I’m too old.
You spun and you twirled at the beat of the dance
Just like my heart with thoughts of romance
You made me proud just to be with you
Sad that you’re gone now, and I’m so blue.
I wake in the morning and wish you were there
To touch your satin skin and silken hair.
To caress your back and kiss your ear
God, how I long for you to be here
For all too brief moments, my world was okay
Then it was shattered when you went away
My cup was half-full when you were near
Now only half-empty without you here.
When I climb into my bed at night
I squeeze my eyes down very tight
Grasping for the visions of you and me
With you by my side the way it should be.
A hopeless romantic I am, it’s true
I guess that I’ve proven it with you.
But I’d rather live with my dreams
Than consider the facts, it seems.
The pangs of happiness turn to sorrows
When I stop to think about tomorrows
Will I ever meet another who can compare?
To the wondrous woman I met, it’s not fair.
That you’ve got other plans, I cannot deny
Get on with my life and don’t ask why
You came along and moved me so
That these feelings can exist at least I know.
What “might have been” is now lost
That I miss you so much is the cost
Of dropping my guard and letting you in
You showed me how unhappy I’ve been.
We all need our fantasies just to survive.
Thanks to you, mine are alive.
I always wondered how you’d appear
I thought when you did, I’d keep you near.
When I first came west in ninety-three
Never again married did I think I’d be.
‘til now never met a girl to change my mind
To remind me that I am the “marrying kind.”
In my wildest dreams I didn’t think
You could steal my heart with one little wink.
Or that when you appeared in my life
I’d want you forever as my, ah, friend.